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Thanks everyone. I am going to hold off on the remodel until I see where things are going and if I do it I will ask for her input. I am not really worried about it, but I want her to feel like it is her house too if she moves in. Either way, I am not adverse to moving (a house is just a place to live) so I will cross that bridge if I get there.
If she's going to make a huge issue of something like that then get rid of her. It sounds to me like you really like the house and have put a lot of hard work into it, maybe even some of your own sweat if you were the one doing the work. If she cant respect that then ditch her.
If she's going to make a huge issue of something like that then get rid of her. It sounds to me like you really like the house and have put a lot of hard work into it, maybe even some of your own sweat if you were the one doing the work. If she cant respect that then ditch her.
Didn't the OP say, right off the bat, that she does NOT have an issue with it!?
Yes....here it is. "I asked her about it and she said she wouldn't have an issue, but I want to make sure she wasn't just saying that to avoid hurting my feelings."
I've never been in this situation. I don't think it would bother me. But you are right in wanting to tell her. Personally, like another member said, I'd like to get a home that both of us pick out together - one that holds only our memories.
If she's okay dating someone who's been married before, I would think she'd be okay with the house. If I wasn't okay with a SO having a past, I wouldn't date someone who'd been married before.
Even if you bought the house when you were single, it would be the rare woman who wouldn't want to have a house that you and her bought together. It's like a bachelor's furniture, consider it g-o-n-e once you get married. Woman truly have veto powers when it comes to these kind of domestic issues. Plus, just accept it, your life and home definitely will be better for letting her make those decisions. Women really do have magic powers when it comes to making a house a home. Good luck
I can get a mattress and other items that many consider personal but a house? For a woman I hadn't even started living with yet? Uh Uh. I keep the house for a while and see how it goes. There is time enough to move later when it turns out you didn't kill each other.
It would be one thing if we were just dating or living together. At that level in the relationship, I don't feel I would have any right to say what you should do with your house.
However, if we were to get married, it would bother me. I would prefer to start a fresh, new chapter of our lives in a home that we'd chosen together and considered "ours." I wouldn't want to feel like I was in the ex-wife's shadow.
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