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Im getting that u know there might be something more there than what u wana admit. Look its simple if the shoe was on the other foot what would u want him to do and how would u feel. Just distance urself and hell get the message. I would say good luck but I can tell u know what u need to do . U may be just looking for exceptance.
I read your post and I don't see anything wrong with your friendship with Mike. It seems people jumped on you and overreacted to your situation. It's not like he was inviting you out alone and hitting on you. Your husband and his wife were included. If I were his wife, yes I would be leery of any opposite sex friendship. But it seems you were becoming friends with his wife as well.
I read your post and I don't see anything wrong with your friendship with Mike. It seems people jumped on you and overreacted to your situation. It's not like he was inviting you out alone and hitting on you. Your husband and his wife were included. If I were his wife, yes I would be leery of any opposite sex friendship. But it seems you were becoming friends with his wife as well.
Thank you for this ^^^ I've never seen it as a bad friendship because we only hung out as friends and went places with our spouses. After finding out that Mike had cheated on his wife I understood why she was so rude and guarded, and I kept an open mind toward her feelings and tried reassuring her and befriending her.
I really need advice if anyone has been the spouse of someone who is having an emotional affair or who has had an ea. There is no short story here but I will sum it up the best I can. My husband and I have been together since we were 16, we are now 31. We got married about 7 years ago and were both extremely happy together for all but the last 3 according to him. I am still very much in love with him, and told me at first that he loves me but is not in love with me anymore, and many other hurtful things. There is another girl that he works with and met about 3 years ago. He says that he is in love with her , but they haven't done anything sexual and he has no plans of doing so any time soon (big comfort) . He says and admittedly true that this was something that occured based on our relationship I have pushed him away and he has pushed me away, often we would do things seperatly in different rooms, when we were home together due to different interest and grew apart. A big part of this is my job which robs me emotionally and he agrees. Now, as a wife and I consider myself a good wife as soon as he made me aware of this I woke up to it and immediately wanted to save the marriage and change things. I suggested we go to counseling, possibly separate for a little bit and go on dates, etc but he says he feels it is too late. Also, he flip flops almost every day one day he says it will never work with us, and the next he says he thinks he is going to come back to me because he loves everything about me and believes we can make it better. I am so confused. He said what he wants is to have time to think this over more, he says he doesn't even really know her that well and has only spent a few hours at a time with her. I truly want him back with me and I know in my heart he would fall in love with me if he would just give it a chance. However, until he makes a decision with this girl it is not an option and he wont give her up. he says that if he does give us another try and doesn't give it a chance with her he would just resent me for it for the rest of the time we were together. He says part of this is because we have been together for so many years and he never had the chance to play the field and meet other people in his adult life and just wants to make sure that 10 years or however long from now he doesn't regret it. Admittedly he says that she is not on the same level as us as she is 23. I feel like I am fooling myself thinking he will come back to me and I guess the other woman feels the same way that he will leave her. I have no idea what to do coping with this is unbearable, I want to give him the time he needs to figure it out but I know when he is with her and it kills me the whole time, I want him back more than anything and I want the chance to prove how wonderful things can be again, but I don't have that chance. also the longer he is with her the more I feel this will escalate not sleeping with her now but when....? I want to stick around and wait it out if there is a chance he will come back to me , but also a part of me says quit being stupid, move on you deserve someone better who feels the way about you that you do him. I don't know honestly what the chances are of this working because he keeps changing his mind and I don't honestly think he knows. I feel like this is just a infatuation that they both have and new love is always exciting but eventually gets to where him and I were unless you stay aware when it becomes boring. I think if he goes with this girl he will find that out eventually but how long 10 years or 6 months? Please help I am desperate for advise, what should I do?
After reading that thread, I don't think you had an emotional affair.
I agree with Lilac on this point, but I'm not sure what your motives were. (For example, why did you hang onto him after you found out about his previous infidelity) If you want to go out with some class, I'd do some soul searching; what out what your real motivations were and tell him that this isn't going to work out for either you or him and why.
He doesn't sound like the world's worst man, at all, and I am not calling you a cheater or a bad person, either; it just sounds like you may have been trying to deceive yourself about why you kept the friendship. I also think letting go of him, for whatever reason, is a good idea.
Good luck.
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