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As a man, I'll avoid trying to address any of the specific questions in the OP. However, I can fully understand how some women would find these questions--and the way they're posed--to be somewhat creepy.
The way in which women's sexuality merges with society and culture has always been far more complex than it's been for their male counterparts. All of us, male or female-straight or gay, start out with our natural sexual urges. Social convention has allowed men, for the most part, to explore those urges without guilt or shame.
For women, the reality has been much different. If a woman doesn't seem interested enough in sex, she's branded as being frigid or a prig. If she seems too interested in sex, there are a whole host of derogatory terms that are routinely applied.
Traditional religious views tend to suggest that she should view sexual behavior as a utilitarian function: biological reproduction, or at least, the providing of pleasure to her husband. As if that weren't bad enough, the dominant strain of modern feminism tells her that she should filter her sexual interests through a host of political considerations. So, women are left trying to negotiate the very narrow passage between these two incompatible sets of cultural expectation.
We all have sexual fantasies. Some of them may seem to be on the dark side when viewed by others. Most of us don't want those fantasies to actually happen. At any rate, talking about those fantasies--yet alone trying to make them happen--is best done with someone with whom we've already established a very closely-intimate and emotional relationship.
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