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Old 03-24-2013, 02:36 PM
 
Location: New Orleans, LA
1,720 posts, read 3,731,508 times
Reputation: 655

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Not cheating because "both of you are not Married"?

It's okay to sleep arouns with others whenyou have a Boyfriend orGirlfriend cause you both not Married?

I don't get this thing about ome thinking and trying to define what cheating is when they say it's okay for the otherperson to sleep around with other people because you "both are not Married"?

Even though the both of you are in a EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP with each other before Marriage .

To me if you make a commitment to someone, whether that means you're exclusive, engaged, or married, to step outside of that commitmentis cheating. Anyone can sign a piece of paper to be "married" but that nevercomes before someone has tied themselves physically, emotionally, and financially to someone else.

If the both of you make it clear from the jumpthis is a relationship between the only two people and you go aheadandbring ina third(and sometimes a fourth andfifth lol), you're cheating. I've neverheard of cheatingbeing void just because you don't have a ring on your finger.

IMO you don't get free reign to do anyone you want whenever you want just because we aren't married. It doesn't work that way with me loL

People these days are just making any excuses ttqo do wrong the way I see it
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Old 03-24-2013, 02:41 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,269 posts, read 12,485,002 times
Reputation: 13422
Some people are just into open relationships, or swinging or whatever. Even then, there can be rules. If that's the understanding, then there is nothing wrong. If the relationship is based on the idea that you remain faithful to your partner, and you step outside the box......that's cheating.


Different strokes for different folks I guess. Not my cup of tea however.
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Old 03-24-2013, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,328 posts, read 12,421,365 times
Reputation: 15400
Not sure where you have heard this, But in relationships where two people have agreed to be exclusive and committed it is not ok. Some will use this excuse and run around while justifying it, But that defeats the purpose of an exclusive relationship in the first place. Best bet: Tell the other what you want. You want a friend with benefits and an open relationship? make sure the other is on the same page, Be upfront and save someone from being filled with regret and hate possibly. And expect it to not be permanent and also feelings to come into play anyhow possibly-And feelings to be hurt.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: So Cal
38,759 posts, read 37,938,490 times
Reputation: 39594
I think people use that I'm not married as an excuse for bad or selfish behavior. I'm not dead, I see hot women and think to myself..hmmm.... you know, but I don't do anything about it because I love and care about my SO, I don't want to hurt her....same goes with her... she's not dead... I realize that other men are gonna be attractive to her

It's called having morals and values... but you can't say that these days, people label you a some kind of religious conservative bible thumper type.....

If you knew me, you'd know I'm no where near being that kind of person.... matter of fact, I would be perceived as quite the opposite... but that is best left for another thread.....
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:02 PM
 
5,485 posts, read 6,075,153 times
Reputation: 5793
If you are talking about the other current thread, about cheating with a married woman, i believe it was a specific question aimed at those who are married. Most all posters who replied, focused on the very scenario presented, but didnt voice their opinion on scenario where the couple wasnt married. Seems to me that most cdr posters and people at large, believe that it is wrong on many levels to cheat on your SO, married or not.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:03 PM
 
Location: North of Nowhere, South of Everywhere
1,085 posts, read 950,447 times
Reputation: 1889
If your with someone on a level that is more then just friends then married or not it is never ok. Even if the other person say's it's an open relationship you still don't know what the other person is feeling.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:08 PM
 
Location: New Orleans, LA
1,720 posts, read 3,731,508 times
Reputation: 655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
If you are talking about the other current thread, about cheating with a married woman, i believe it was a specific question aimed at those who are married. Most all posters who replied, focused on the very scenario presented, but didnt voice their opinion on scenario where the couple wasnt married. Seems to me that most cdr posters and people at large, believe that it is wrong on many levels to cheat on your SO, married or not.
I don't know what thread that you are talking about.

So therefore, this is a different thread.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:15 PM
 
2,765 posts, read 3,959,830 times
Reputation: 2965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackandgold51 View Post
Not cheating because "both of you are not Married"?

It's okay to sleep arouns with others whenyou have a Boyfriend orGirlfriend cause you both not Married?

I don't get this thing about ome thinking and trying to define what cheating is when they say it's okay for the otherperson to sleep around with other people because you "both are not Married"?

Even though the both of you are in a EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP with each other before Marriage .

To me if you make a commitment to someone, whether that means you're exclusive, engaged, or married, to step outside of that commitmentis cheating. Anyone can sign a piece of paper to be "married" but that nevercomes before someone has tied themselves physically, emotionally, and financially to someone else.

If the both of you make it clear from the jumpthis is a relationship between the only two people and you go aheadandbring ina third(and sometimes a fourth andfifth lol), you're cheating. I've neverheard of cheatingbeing void just because you don't have a ring on your finger.

IMO you don't get free reign to do anyone you want whenever you want just because we aren't married. It doesn't work that way with me loL

People these days are just making any excuses ttqo do wrong the way I see it
Alot of people sleep around, simly because they can.
These are people that really should just be single and date and have fun until they are ready to try an exclusive relationship.
The problem is, pressure from families, and friends, and certain social events where a date is optional (weddings, work holiday parties, etc) put people in a situation that they feel they need to have a s/o.
IME, most of the time, one person or both of them don't take things seriously, and sleep around when the kinda sorta s/o isn't around.
It is just all part of the dating game. If you are looking for something serious, then only enter serious relationships with someone you have screened well. But, sometimes you don't find out someone is not LTR material untill you have invested a bunch of time and effort. Not much you can do at that point, except move on and try again.
Of course, very few people actually advertise they are NOT looking for a serious relationship, but rather a casual, 'let's just hang out' type arragnement.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:19 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,716 posts, read 64,203,456 times
Reputation: 68523
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackandgold51 View Post
Not cheating because "both of you are not Married"?

It's okay to sleep arouns with others whenyou have a Boyfriend orGirlfriend cause you both not Married?

I don't get this thing about ome thinking and trying to define what cheating is when they say it's okay for the otherperson to sleep around with other people because you "both are not Married"?
What "thing"? Where are you getting this? Who says this? If someone gave you that line in a relationship that was exclusive, you shouldn't be with them.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:21 PM
 
17,868 posts, read 17,080,657 times
Reputation: 13760
From a thread that was made a long time ago, of which everyone seemed to agree with each other and I was staunchly against all of them: You are single until you marry, so therefore you can do whatever you want because you aren't married.

I disagree 100% with this train of thought, but I was in the minority, and I continue to be.

Well you GF get angry about it? Probably, but you can just tell her that both of you are still single and can do whatever you want I guess.
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