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And you have no clue what the OP is going through. So easy to say this stuff when you have none of the emotion attached to it. OP should get over it but stop acting like its so easy. He just found out his girlfriend was well...call it what you want but its not something any guy wants to hear. I don't care who it is.
I can only speak for myself as another "Reformed Party Girl" (no frat stuff but still) who was very wild in my teens. I crammed a whole lot of experiences into just a few years there... but you know, I knew right off the bat if someone was someone I cared about having a future with. So yeah, if it was someone I actually wanted to BE with and thought we might have a chance, then I did want to wait. I figured if there was no waiting, they'd not respect me and that would be the end of it. If someone was special, I wanted to wait. I hoped the waiting would get them to see me as a potential longer term partner. It's a stupid "game" we have to play, or at least was the deal when I was younger. People, women especially, could not be honest about having healthy desires forsex without being labeled as easy or slutty. If I knew there was no possible future, then it didn't matter as much.
I agree with other posters saying that the OP does NOT need to marry this girl... and not because she is some awful lying trollop, but because he is not mature enough to ever get past this.
Of course she lied about her numbers. Women do that precisely because guys react in such a judgmental way! I never did, because I couldn't care less... if someone wanted to judge me, okay, and don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out, either. I understand why some women won't be so bold though, and feel that they must hide behavior that for women is "shameful" but for men is .
It's one thing to have healthy desires. Most people can understand that. But I don't think blowing every guy you know is in any shape or form "healthy behavior". But hey, what the heck do I know? I'm just a typical guy who's opinion is obviously wrong when it comes to "any" womans actions. After all, she was probably "emotionally needy". Isn't that the consensus. When a guy does this type of stuff he's a dog. When a girl does it, she's hurting and "emotionally crippled.". Yeah, talk about a double standard.
I guess that's just the way the world is coming to. Nobody really has to take responsibility for their actions, because after all they were young, vulnerable, emotionally crippled, looking for daddy, blah, blah, blah.
This is partly why the whole world is messed up. There's no sympathy whatsoever towards the op'. It's all conveniently turned on him. He's immature and inexperienced. He's not being a man. He's this, he's that. How about she was a freaking ho for four years and I'd be willing to bet that her number is much higher. But hey, it's never anyones fault anymore. Certainly not the one doing it. We have a sound reason for anything anymore. Justifiation and rationalization is at an all time high.
This is why at a young age we are taught that our actions DO effect the future. Why she told him this is beyond me. What was she supposed to gain from this? Was he supposed to console her? Possibly wrap his arms around her and give her a big hug? Was he supposed to tell her it wasn't her fault. Rub her feet, carress her hand and tell her everything is going to be ok. After all "personal responsibility" is just a word anymore.
And I guarantee you that half of these people playing the forgiveness tip would be appalled if their partner told them something like this. Yes, there is a lot of hypocracy going on and it has nothing to do with the op'.
Op, do yourself a huge favor and go get tested. Pray that you don't have something and then figure out if this is something you can handle. If you can't. Don't let people guilt you into believing that you should. Nobody should have to accept anything that causes that much pain. After all she obviously wasn't worried about his feelings when she told him this.
This all comes down to the fact that we cannot escape our past. Myself included. If I wasn't a dumb asz at eighteen and did a misdemeanor, I most likely would have been a state trooper today, especially since I scored in the 95th percentile on the test for state troopers and was offered to go to the academy twice. Even after turning it down the first time. However, I made a mistake that I knew would cost me in the long run. Such is life. That is something that I had to live with.
Last edited by supermanpansy; 03-29-2013 at 06:51 PM..
And you have no clue what the OP is going through. So easy to say this stuff when you have none of the emotion attached to it. OP should get over it but stop acting like its so easy. He just found out his girlfriend was well...call it what you want but its not something any guy wants to hear. I don't care who it is.
Trust me, if I really believed the OP wanted, or would take, good advice, I would happily give it to him
Advice is not imposing your beliefs on him. Its listening to his problem , putting yourself in his place and then giving your thoughts. This is a guy who probably is on his first girlfriend and he just does not know how to handle it.
There is nothing normal about getting passed around by drunk frat boys. I don't want to live in a society where that is considered normal or some rite of passage for young girls
Advice is not imposing your beliefs on him. Its listening to his problem , putting yourself in his place and then giving your thoughts. This is a guy who probably is on his first girlfriend and he just does not know how to handle it.
I did "listen to his problem". He's a whiny crybaby not ready for marriage since he has no clue what real love is.
If he truly wants some real advice, which I doubt, he'll have to stop insulting the woman he so recently claimed to love and take some personal responsibility for his inability to cope with something so upsetting to his fragile ego.
As soon as he does that, we'll all know he's for real and ready for some serious advice.
I did "listen to his problem". He's a whiny crybaby not ready for marriage since he has no clue what real love is.
If he truly wants some real advice, which I doubt, he'll have to stop insulting the woman he so recently claimed to love and take some personal responsibility for his inability to cope with something so upsetting to his fragile ego.
As soon as he does that, we'll all know he's for real and ready for some serious advice.
Again...you are imposing YOUR thoughts on this. He is shattered right now..you cannot understand what its like to find something like this out. In the future I'm sure he will wise up and NOT ASK. Real love has nothing to do with this. Heh..you think if any guy found out his GF/ wife was handing out BJ's all through college it would not make them a little sick? As time went on the don't ask don't tell concept made more and more sense on this subject.
Again...you are imposing YOUR thoughts on this. He is shattered right now..you cannot understand what its like to find something like this out. In the future I'm sure he will wise up and NOT ASK. Real love has nothing to do with this. Heh..you think if any guy found out his GF was handing out BJ's all through college it would not make them a little sick? As time went on the don't ask don't tell concept made more and more sense on this subject.
I repeat, real love is for GROWNUPS.
If he can't handle the truth of someone's past he is not ready for a grownup relationship.
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