How do I process her past behavior? (kid, personality, couple)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Here's the thing so many of us are trying to point out that you guys are missing...
THERE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ANY LOSERS EITHER.
If there are, that's his choice.
But there are other choices.
You know what I'll agree. That's a very valid point. I didn't think of that because I myself don't think that I could have handled that. In fact I know I couldn't have. So that never even crossed my mind. I don't think that the op' can either. That's another reason why that never crossed my mind. But nevertheless, very valid point. I think it would take a very understanding, tolerant person to accept all of that. I'm alot of good things, but on this particular topic, I would not be capable of letting that go. I've been with the same girl long enough to be considered married, and had I found that out about her-I myself would be crushed. And I would leave her! Right or wrong. That in particular would exceed my limits on what I could tolerate. That's just for me. It doesn't mean that I could not tolerate alot of other things from women, but that is just not one of them. It wouldn't happen to me though, because I don't ever ask a women about their past sexual conguests/ behavior. I learned that lesson about twenty something years ago.
I think it's strange that you had a "sex talk" with your partner. Who does that? It's really none of your business what she did in her past as long as she's clean. She didn't tell you because she thought you would judge her, and you proved her right.
Going down on 35 guys is gross. I'm with you there, but it's over and done with.
I think you're more upset that you couldn't get in her pants on the first date. Would you be happier if she'd blown you under the table during your first meeting?
Get over yourself. Do her a favor and let her go to find a man who's not threatened by her past.
You know what I'll agree. That's a very valid point. I didn't think of that because I myself don't think that I could have handled that. In fact I know I couldn't have. So that never even crossed my mind. I don't think that the op' can either. That's another reason why that never crossed my mind. But nevertheless, very valid point. I think it would take a very understanding, tolerant person to accept all of that. I'm alot of good things, but on this particular topic, I would not be capable of letting that go. I've been with the same girl long enough to be considered married, and had I found that out about her-I myself would be crushed. And I would leave her! Right or wrong. That in particular would exceed my limits on what I could tolerate. That's just for me. It doesn't mean that I could not tolerate alot of other things from women, but that is just not one of them. It wouldn't happen to me though, because I don't ever ask a women about their past sexual conguests/ behavior. I learned that lesson about twenty something years ago.
Appreciate your willingness to see there are other ways of looking at this
Everyone is different, and it's always good to know your own limitations.
I said this back on post #113 and was dead serious:
When I fell in love with my husband I fell in love with him for who he is.
And who he is was shaped by all the experiences he had, good and bad, up to that point of me meeting and falling in love with him.
Short of finding out he was some kind of sociopath or criminal predator who hurt people, there is not much he could have ever told me about himself AFTER I fell in love with him that would have killed my love for him because true love accepts and loves UNCONDITIONALLY.
You want him to love her and put it behind. Yet, she clearly didn't love herself when she was servicing half the university. Why should anyone love anyone who doesn't even have any love/ respect for themselves.
Didn't and doesn't are two very different things.
This happened many years ago. Are you saying that because someone had an issue with self worth and respect a decade ago that they never deserve to be loved?
This happened many years ago. Are you saying that because someone had an issue with self worth and respect a decade ago that they never deserve to be loved?
Valid point and what makes the conversation so so difficult.
This happened many years ago. Are you saying that because someone had an issue with self worth and respect a decade ago that they never deserve to be loved?
Not at all, but truthfully I'm tired of arguing. I'm even starting to suspect/ wonder if this is a troll post. Of course how one feels about themselves at one point in their life has little if nothing to do with weather or not they deserve love. Personally, I think that everybody deserves someone. That of course is within reason. People who kill, rapists, women beaters, men beaters, pedophiles, they in my opinion don't deserve someone. The fact that he is having such a hard time handling this makes me think that clearly they are not right for each other.
Before the last few posts. We who had been debating this had actually been making grounds. It seems like we're right back to where we were about an hour ago. But I digress. I am too tired of this petty sh t. Anyone can think what they want. This post is closed as far as I am concerned.
Not at all, but truthfully I'm tired of arguing. I'm even starting to suspect/ wonder if this is a troll post. Of course how one feels about themselves at one point in their life has little if nothing to do with weather or not they deserve love. Personally, I think that everybody deserves someone. That of course is within reason. People who kill, rapists, women beaters, men beaters, pedophiles, they in my opinion don't deserve someone. The fact that he is having such a hard time handling this makes me think that clearly they are not right for each other.
Before the last few posts. We who had been debating this had actually been making grounds. It seems like we're right back to where we were about an hour ago. But I digress. I am too tired of this petty sh t. Anyone can think what they want. This post is closed as far as I am concerned.
Making ground towards what?
I'm not arguing. I simply noticed that your statements conflicted.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.