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Location: Even funnier how, when you make a rational argument..
45 posts, read 41,828 times
Reputation: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid
Are those women single though?
Well yeah they're single, I don't know the age group of most of the people posting here. I'm 20 in 3rd year at college and being promiscuous is not viewed the same way now as it would have been say in the 1990's or 1980's.
Not to say that we don't need to fulfill our sexual desires, but if you wan't to go ahead and sleep around then you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life. You need to understand that no matter what you do, your choices have consequences good and bad. Lying to someone, especially your fiancee, about something like this doesn't bode well for the relationship anyways. What else is she going to lie to him about?
I just don't get how people are seriously trying to say "the past is the past." As if it has no bearing on what you are now, people don't just completely change 100% the past is a very good indication of what people are and will continue to be in the future. This is not only indicated by relationships but by a TON of other aspects in life from law, medicine, business etc...
I'm truly shocked by the opinions of the women in this thread, I truly hope when I finish school and look to settle down I don't end up with people like the ones posting here. Things are definitely looking bleak after reading the opinions on here.
Let it go. As long as she is faithful to you, why does it matter how many guys she's slept with?
Doesn't matter to me but she has slept with zero men because she does not exist:
Let see: Who goes to a College reunion and feels the need to go up to a complete stranger, the OP in this case, and says "hey your finance Boinged the entire Frat house"? Then Jane comes clean and the # is now 50 and she also does Hummer lines. Sounds like the entire Soriety was involved too.
Interesting comments from some magical newbies that appeared and the regulars
Hmm..never acted like a party favor and wouldn't want to be with one either. OP you have chosen wisely. Despite what others may say on this thread I think its just a bad match with a liar. No one wants to date a liar with a history of impulse control issues. People usually transfer these impulsive issues to other behaviors. There is a HUGE difference between 6 and 50+. That is not even in the same ballpark.
I don't think you have to be all mean about but I don't think you should compromise your values either.
She needs to find someone else that is ok with casual sex and high numbers. He needs to find someone who is not and never was. 6 people is not exactly a virgin. I think it would be easy to find someone with lower numbers and definitely easy to find someone that didn't play p**no queen at parties.
I just don't get how people are seriously trying to say "the past is the past." As if it has no bearing on what you are now, people don't just completely change 100% the past is a very good indication of what people are and will continue to be in the future. This is not only indicated by relationships but by a TON of other aspects in life from law, medicine, business etc...
I'm truly shocked by the opinions of the women in this thread, I truly hope when I finish school and look to settle down I don't end up with people like the ones posting here. Things are definitely looking bleak after reading the opinions on here.
You'll understand it the first time someone holds something you did 10 years ago over your head as though they are judge, jury, and a deity. Doesn't have to be sexual. It could be anything.
What has so many women here up in arms is the disgusting language and holier-than-thou attitude of the OP. Was it wrong of her to lie? Sure. She should have just asked him why he was asking, which is the standard response everyone should give people who are asking nosy questions of any kind. Heck, in her shoes, I wouldn't have even gone to the college reunion in the first place. But if I had, I wouldn't have remotely entertained the notion of bringing him along. In my experience, people's partners generally find such things incredibly boring, and I wouldn't want to get stuck babysitting and having to answer questions about this person or that the whole night while I'm talking to people I haven't seen in 10 years. In all honesty, I do have to wonder about her self-esteem because behavior like his doesn't occur in a vacuum: He is probably extremely insecure and she has probably been dealing with his garbage since the day they started dating.
Regardless, this was allegedly a man who claimed to have loved someone. Yet there he was, hurling invectives and castigating her for something that she may well have struggled to get past herself. If this post is not a troll (and like others, I have my doubts), his lack of compassion says a lot about him. He made her past all about him, which is incredibly selfish and ego-centric, and he didn't stop to think about what processes she may have gone through to reconcile herself to her past actions.
Furthermore, who is he to abuse someone that way? It's really too bad he didn't claim some warped religious nonsense to go along with this, because I'd have loved to remind him of Mary Magdalene.
Doesn't matter to me but she has slept with zero men because she does not exist:
Let see: Who goes to a College reunion and feels the need to go up to a complete stranger, the OP in this case, and says "hey your finance Boinged the entire Frat house"? Then Jane comes clean and the # is now 50 and she also does Hummer lines. Sounds like the entire Soriety was involved too.
Interesting comments from some magical newbies that appeared and the regulars
I know. The more I read, the more it sounds like some porno fantasy a previously-banned member drew from to come back and be a douche, but hey, let it stand as an example for others, because there are indeed people who throw fits over the past, sexual or otherwise. That's the nature of insecurity.
If this is even real then it sounds like breaking up was the right thing to do. She shouldn't have lied about it, but it doesn't even seem like the lying is was he was really upset about. I think it's weird that out of this whole story the thing he mentions over and over is being resentful that he had to wait and those guys didn't. Why does that matter? Not like he waited for years!
Guys are always complaining that women expect them to be successful and have good jobs which maybe isn't fair, but for women this is our issue that isn't fair. We are judged on how many many, how long we wait, how "good" we are when we do go there sometimes even being judged for being too good as though we've had too much experience. This woman's behavior isn't something I'd ever have engaged in myself, but it was a long time ago and people really do change over time. I hope she realizes it's better to be honest right off the bat and find someone who really accepts her. And maybe the OP can hook his future dates up to a lie detector on the first date and make sure he has the real story on all her past run ins. Haha!
I know. The more I read, the more it sounds like some porno fantasy a previously-banned member drew from to come back and be a douche, but hey, let it stand as an example for others, because there are indeed people who throw fits over the past, sexual or otherwise. That's the nature of insecurity.
Seriously...if she was so secure she wouldn't have a problem being honest. Don't ask of other what you can't ask of yourself. No matter what the situation. Lying to people about yourself is the nature of insecurity. Sticking to standards is called personal values. Personal standards have to match well to have a healthy relationship.
If this is even real then it sounds like breaking up was the right thing to do. She shouldn't have lied about it, but it doesn't even seem like the lying is was he was really upset about. I think it's weird that out of this whole story the thing he mentions over and over is being resentful that he had to wait and those guys didn't. Why does that matter? Not like he waited for years!
Guys are always complaining that women expect them to be successful and have good jobs which maybe isn't fair, but for women this is our issue that isn't fair. We are judged on how many many, how long we wait, how "good" we are when we do go there sometimes even being judged for being too good as though we've had too much experience. This woman's behavior isn't something I'd ever have engaged in myself, but it was a long time ago and people really do change over time. I hope she realizes it's better to be honest right off the bat and find someone who really accepts her. And maybe the OP can hook his future dates up to a lie detector on the first date and make sure he has the real story on all her past run ins. Haha!
I would wonder why I waited too.
What was it? A game of manipulation? A herpes outbreak? What?
Life isn't fair. We all should grow up and get over that one. Your feelings will get hurt, you will offend people and if you are lucky someday you will find someone that loves you from A-Z.
I would judge the males in the frat house just as I would the girl so...I don't really see a double standard unless you don't have that same standard yourself. No one told you that you have to accept men doing what they want or being with a ton of girls.
Location: Even funnier how, when you make a rational argument..
45 posts, read 41,828 times
Reputation: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
What has so many women here up in arms is the disgusting language and holier-than-thou attitude of the OP.
Holier-than-though? The man was lied to by the woman he loved, he wasted 3 years of his time, love and money which could have been better spent on someone else. He has every right to be pissed off at her and he had every right to break up with her (I commend you on that OP).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
She should have just asked him why he was asking, which is the standard response everyone should give people who are asking nosy questions of any kind.
It's obvious why he asked this question, please don't tell me you're that naive (why is every woman so naive?) He asked it because it's important to him, I assume she knew it was important, which is why she lied. If she was honest from the begging this whole mess could have been avoided. She could have found another man who would be comfortable with her past and he could have found another woman more suited towards his standards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
Regardless, this was allegedly a man who claimed to have loved someone. Yet there he was, hurling invectives and castigating her for something that she may well have struggled to get past herself. If this post is not a troll (and like others, I have my doubts), his lack of compassion says a lot about him. He made her past all about him, which is incredibly selfish and ego-centric, and he didn't stop to think about what processes she may have gone through to reconcile herself to her past actions.
Here comes the home run, hitting this out of the ball park. I'm thanking the lord right now, that the women I'm sharing this thread with during my lecture break don't think like this.
Are you forgetting that she lied to him in the beginning? She wanted what was best for her, which she thought was him, so to get him she lied (WHICH IS SELFISH AND "EGO-CENTRIC", NOT TO MENTION COMPLETELY LACKING IN COMPASSION....) The fact that you women, are incapable of objectively and unbiasedly looking at a situation is simply pathetic. Relationships are built on trust and honest communication, without those things, you have nothing. Now, if they had been married for 15 years and this came up, I might have a different answer, but they aren't married and he has no obligations to kids or anything of that nature. He has the opportunity to break it off clean and learn how to look for deceptive behavior in the future.
You women are sticking up for her because you can relate with her. You are thinking about what YOU would want as a woman instead of looking at the situation from an objective perspective.
I still can't comprehend how you are still ripping on this guy and portraying the woman as the "victim."
Last edited by TiburonLoL; 04-01-2013 at 12:03 PM..
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. Sounds like the entire Soriety was involved too
.
Your feelings will get hurt, you will offend people and if you are lucky someday you will find someone that loves you from A-Z. 