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Old 11-04-2007, 05:40 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,157 times
Reputation: 10
I joined Connecting Singles months ago and have met some wonderful people and made some wonderful friends. I was involved with someone and I thought I had met my soul mate. I am divorced after 27 years of marriage. The guy I met was and still is my sweetheart. I have let him go after he let me go. I think I was in too much of a hurry. What I'm saying is take care out there and don't go into it in a hurry. I was and still am heart broken but it was my own doing and that's why it ended the way it did. Save yourself the heart ache and take things slowly. But I think these sites do work.
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Old 11-04-2007, 07:16 AM
 
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
42,453 posts, read 19,287,628 times
Reputation: 80359
Quote:
Is online dating reliable?
I have only done this online dating once around the middle of 2003. I signed up with Yahoo Personals and posted my profile, and I've gotten a couple of legitimate responses, but I never pursued them. The one thing I want to mention is there are many scammers out there, who look at these profiles and they send emails to the single prospectors. I've seen several messages from those, who claim to be Russian women that were impressed with my profile and they showed interest and I almost fell for their scheme. This one gal sent me pictures of herself and we communicated through emails and she even called me a couple of times. But a couple of people I work with warned me about those respondents, who are nothing but scammers. She told me that she wanted to come to the United States and stay for a couple of weeks and have a chance to meet in person, and she basically painted a very pretty picture of a future together. She also asked me to send her money for the airline tickets, passport and some other expenses, which came out to something like $2,000, that was when I started seeing red flags.

Ironically, I saw one of those DateLine or 60 minutes programs about a month later, that showed a segment about those scammers and how they swindled thousands of American men out of untold amount of money.
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Old 11-04-2007, 07:57 AM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,040,392 times
Reputation: 2506
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnum Mike View Post
I have only done this online dating once around the middle of 2003. I signed up with Yahoo Personals and posted my profile, and I've gotten a couple of legitimate responses, but I never pursued them. The one thing I want to mention is there are many scammers out there, who look at these profiles and they send emails to the single prospectors. I've seen several messages from those, who claim to be Russian women that were impressed with my profile and they showed interest and I almost fell for their scheme. This one gal sent me pictures of herself and we communicated through emails and she even called me a couple of times. But a couple of people I work with warned me about those respondents, who are nothing but scammers. She told me that she wanted to come to the United States and stay for a couple of weeks and have a chance to meet in person, and she basically painted a very pretty picture of a future together. She also asked me to send her money for the airline tickets, passport and some other expenses, which came out to something like $2,000, that was when I started seeing red flags.

Ironically, I saw one of those DateLine or 60 minutes programs about a month later, that showed a segment about those scammers and how they swindled thousands of American men out of untold amount of money.
Why wouldn't you respond to "legitimate responses?" Surely these foreign scammers are to be avoided, and you would, and the first sign. But why turn everyone off, because of those extremes?
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Old 11-04-2007, 07:59 AM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,040,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmic View Post
Come on, with all that dignity, you still have to sleep alone.

Actually I met a number of very nice folks via the Web. They turned out to be exactly what they said they were. The mystery is always their lil quirks and habits. They never tell you if they snore.

This one young lady did not like how I dressed. Hey, it was dress jeans and a T-Shirt in my new slimmed down body. Funny how you can never please some ladies all of the time.
Oh...sort of a change from your original post.
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Old 11-04-2007, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Arizona, The American Southwest
42,453 posts, read 19,287,628 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
Why wouldn't you respond to "legitimate responses?" Surely these foreign scammers are to be avoided, and you would, and the first sign. But why turn everyone off, because of those extremes?
I did respond to a few legitimate ones, and I've talked to a couple of them, and met them in person, but we didn't have much in common. There were other reasons for not pursuing others and it had to do with other things that were going on in my career, rather than what hapened with that Russian gal.
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Old 11-04-2007, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Northeastern WI
19,439 posts, read 16,215,198 times
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I actually signed on one time, several years ago, but only long enough to use up that 'free 7 day trial' thing. After that, I never went back.




So many people looking for so many different things. Some may be looking for emotional security. Others for one night stands. Some look for simply companionship, friendship on a platonic basis and when you combine all of that with a dating website, you never know what the guy (or girl) who is running that ad 'really' is looking for because what they say they promise you and what it comes down to once they meet you are two complete different things.
If you want commitment, you need to make it clear that youre looking for only that and stick with it, dont date someone who isnt. Not gonna work. If youre only looking for companionship/friendship, make that clear. Too many people tend to think of marriage after just one date, or they tend to think theyre going to get into bed with someone whos looking for long term commitment...another bad combination that will blow up. If I were looking, surely wouldnt look on a dating website and dont even know why I bothered 'trial period' of a website, but thank gawd I never stuck with it.
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Old 11-04-2007, 09:35 AM
 
Location: USA
4,983 posts, read 5,040,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Power Surge View Post
I actually signed on one time, several years ago, but only long enough to use up that 'free 7 day trial' thing. After that, I never went back.




So many people looking for so many different things. Some may be looking for emotional security. Others for one night stands. Some look for simply companionship, friendship on a platonic basis and when you combine all of that with a dating website, you never know what the guy (or girl) who is running that ad 'really' is looking for because what they say they promise you and what it comes down to once they meet you are two complete different things.
If you want commitment, you need to make it clear that youre looking for only that and stick with it, dont date someone who isnt. Not gonna work. If youre only looking for companionship/friendship, make that clear. Too many people tend to think of marriage after just one date, or they tend to think theyre going to get into bed with someone whos looking for long term commitment...another bad combination that will blow up. If I were looking, surely wouldnt look on a dating website and dont even know why I bothered 'trial period' of a website, but thank gawd I never stuck with it.
I'd never think of marriage after one date. Heck, you can't know much about someone at all that way. You see the outside package, but what is inside is far more complex. And people show their best side too, when you meet.
It takes time for people to reveal themselves.
Quick sex is just quick sex.
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Old 11-04-2007, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Northeastern WI
19,439 posts, read 16,215,198 times
Reputation: 36233
Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
I'd never think of marriage after one date. Heck, you can't know much about someone at all that way. You see the outside package, but what is inside is far more complex. And people show their best side too, when you meet.
It takes time for people to reveal themselves.
Quick sex is just quick sex.

My point exactly! And if its not meant to be, then leave it alone and move on, or just be friends, but dont try to force it to happen.
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Old 11-04-2007, 01:26 PM
 
3,021 posts, read 16,125,522 times
Reputation: 2406
Default So do you really want to do this dating thing.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
I'd never think of marriage after one date. Heck, you can't know much about someone at all that way. You see the outside package, but what is inside is far more complex. And people show their best side too, when you meet.
It takes time for people to reveal themselves.
Quick sex is just quick sex.
It sounds like you don't have much experience with this. Sounds like most of the posters really don't understand how to do it.

Actually I had zero experience with it all. Decided it was time for a new girl friend. Set down and made a list of exactly what I wanted. Took me about four months to find two likely candidates. Both pretty well met exactly what I wanted. Both close enough to be practical.

The first probably will not work out. Not because of her but her lifestyle is just too hectic. The second is pretty well a perfect match for me at this time. A special buddy type relationship where we both get to keep our other lives and enjoy each other. I also think way too much focus is put on sex or lack there of, if you get the right person for your situation then that falls into place.

So if I could do it and get one pretty close to home in a few months, anybody should be able to do it. Hey, not bad if you only have to kiss one frog and she was quite pretty to get there. Nice to squeeze and she might also eventually wind up being a good friend too.

Don't be so negative. Know exactly what you want, don't want, screen them out well and be patient. I will even volunteer to be your coach.

So to the OP, yes it can and does work. Nothing magic about it all. Just another screening tool that allows a person to cover a much larger sample than you ever will meet in normal daily life. It is all about the attitude, methods and techniques you bring to bear on the problem.
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Old 11-04-2007, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Zebulon, NC
2,270 posts, read 3,812,108 times
Reputation: 3477
Excellent post, Cosmic.

I think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations when trying online dating. It's simply an avenue to meet people. There are no guarantees that you'll find The One - any more than there are guarantees you'll find them in the grocery store, while volunteering, in a bar, etc. It's just another way to meet people.

Let's say you go out to a club one night, hoping to meet someone. You pay a cover charge, and also buy some drinks. How is that any different than paying an online dating service to meet people?

Sure there are scammers. There are scammers in all walks of life - at bars, in the grocery store, walking down the street, you name it. The important thing is to keep your expectations realistic, and don't expect the first person you see online/communicate with/meet in person is going to be The One. It's an opportunity to make a new friend, and who knows - that person may or may not be the one you're looking for. If not, you've got a new friend - and one can never have too many friends. Besides, your new friend is bound to have friends, and maybe they can introduce you to someone.

It may not work for everyone, but it has worked for a LOT of people. You can't judge all online dating sites by a one-week trial period.
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