U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-13-2013, 02:45 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
3,603 posts, read 4,797,581 times
Reputation: 3877

Advertisements

A bit of a hypothetical:

If you're in a marriage (or serious defacto relationship) do you believe that a line needs to be drawn when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex?

For instance, is it okay for a husband to befriend a single female and socialize with her, call and text her when his wife isn't present? What kind of action (if any) should a wife take under these circumstances?

I look forward to your thoughts and opinions. Thanks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-13-2013, 02:47 PM
 
714 posts, read 412,562 times
Reputation: 265
Once the ring hits the finger...no more women.

That's how most men see it...at least ones who don't have something 'more' up their sleaves.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 02:50 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 20,551,959 times
Reputation: 13377
Quote:
Originally Posted by glamatomic View Post
A bit of a hypothetical:

If you're in a marriage (or serious defacto relationship) do you believe that a line needs to be drawn when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex?

For instance, is it okay for a husband to befriend a single female and socialize with her, call and text her when his wife isn't present? What kind of action (if any) should a wife take under these circumstances?

I look forward to your thoughts and opinions. Thanks!
I take it on a case by case basis. A new friend would also have to be my friend, otherwise she's not going to be my husband's friend. Both my dh and I have opposite sex friends and everybody is on the same page.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 02:50 PM
 
393 posts, read 363,686 times
Reputation: 303
Quote:
Originally Posted by glamatomic View Post
A bit of a hypothetical:

If you're in a marriage (or serious defacto relationship) do you believe that a line needs to be drawn when it comes to friendships with the opposite sex?

For instance, is it okay for a husband to befriend a single female and socialize with her, call and text her when his wife isn't present? What kind of action (if any) should a wife take under these circumstances?

I look forward to your thoughts and opinions. Thanks!

Do whatever you want. If your spouse doesn't like it, they're welcome to divorce you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 24,998,851 times
Reputation: 16187
When my best male friend started dating his now fiance, one of the conditions was that she was to be okay with our friendship. She wasn't sure at first, but once she saw us interacting and got to know me she became very open and okay with the idea. Now, his fiance and I are very good friends and I've been asked (by the both of them) to be their best man at the wedding. I adore them both.

If I were to get into a relationship, he would have to be okay with my best male friend. I'm not going to give up a nearly 15 year long relationship because he's feeling insecure.

Since I've experienced a very long and fruitful opposite sex friendship, I think I'm more open to the idea of it. I do think it's a possibility, but it would definitely depend on the people involved and how they interact with each other.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 02:55 PM
 
Location: So Cal
37,771 posts, read 36,195,827 times
Reputation: 38279
I have a female friend that I talk to on messenger and I've known her a few yrs now and we chat a lot, Mrs. Chow is fine with her, they are friendly to each other as well. I think what it is is that once you know someone pretty well, it would be like incest to move it past being friendly.....


Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
24,396 posts, read 15,758,760 times
Reputation: 35033
One should always avoid the appearance of impropriety.

I wouldn't hang out with, or have a friendship with the opposite sex unless I introduced him to DH. If I went to hang with the guy, DH would always have an open invitation to join.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum (on loan)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 03:15 PM
 
35,104 posts, read 35,678,121 times
Reputation: 61612
My husband has numerous female friends, some I know, some I don't know and it does not bother me one bit. He has had a lot of these friendships for more than 20 years and I've only been in his life for 10 years. We both know we are married to each other, we trust each other to the core of our being and we both know the consequence if one or the other steps outside of the vows we promised to each other and there are no second chances.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 03:21 PM
 
714 posts, read 412,562 times
Reputation: 265
Do any of you other guys get women who seek you out because YOU have something their SO is lacking or missing? I sure do.

I've been a bodyguard to get rid of some creep more then once.

I can't say why they chose me over their man for it?

I don't see it myself.


Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-13-2013, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,124 posts, read 7,560,526 times
Reputation: 8248
We don't draw any lines with each in this regard. We are both free to have whatever friends we want and socialize as we wish. We only expect each other to use some common sense and be sure to respect OUR relationship first and foremost. We don't own each other. If there is a serious transgression, we are free to break up - but it's a very, very unlikely thing to ever happen.

We got out to dinner or to clubs with our friends and without each other at times, and all together other times. We trust each other, and our friends respect our relationship - or they don't stay friends.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top