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People in my family (two pairs of grandparents, three pairs of great-grandparents, and an aunt and uncle) with the most successful marriage have two things in common: they met before their 20's and married or moved-in soon after meeting each other. People that struggle with their relationships in my family have other things in common, they have ALL went through at least one divorce and they took a long time to marry (one pair even took a DECADE of knowing each other).
I often wonder whether or not the hastily rushed relationship had anything to do with the success and longevity of their relationship. In other words, they all knew they met the one rather early on...
I don't think it's about marrying young per se...It's about being realistic about relationships...which most young people are not, although some are.
I think the divorce rate would be a lot lower if people were more pragmatic and had more realistic expectations (as in, less emphasis on being in love, more on the other facets of life). These blog posts are what I'm talking about:
I don't think so, at least not completely. Luck alone doesn't keep you happily married to someone for decades. People in good marriages have certain behaviors/traits....it isn't random.
For me, I had two opportunities to get married in my early twenties and I am so glad I did not take them.
One was a great guy, one a not-so-great guy, but either way I was too young and too immature to get married, and I knew it. Really I didn't even know myself yet (who does at 22). I can only imagine what would have happened if I had agreed to marry back then. Apparently I was mature enough to make the right decision
People in my family (two pairs of grandparents, three pairs of great-grandparents, and an aunt and uncle) with the most successful marriage have two things in common: they met before their 20's and married or moved-in soon after meeting each other. People that struggle with their relationships in my family have other things in common, they have ALL went through at least one divorce and they took a long time to marry (one pair even took a DECADE of knowing each other).
I often wonder whether or not the hastily rushed relationship had anything to do with the success and longevity of their relationship. In other words, they all knew they met the one rather early on...
Don't rush into anything, Kid. I feel like you're looking for excuses to get married. You're way too young. Trust us.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 04-14-2013 at 09:36 PM..
People in my family (two pairs of grandparents, three pairs of great-grandparents, and an aunt and uncle) with the most successful marriage have two things in common: they met before their 20's and married or moved-in soon after meeting each other. People that struggle with their relationships in my family have other things in common, they have ALL went through at least one divorce and they took a long time to marry (one pair even took a DECADE of knowing each other).
I often wonder whether or not the hastily rushed relationship had anything to do with the success and longevity of their relationship. In other words, they all knew they met the one rather early on...
OP, I think most of the time these days things work out the opposite as your described, but when you consider the time in history that you grand-parents and great-grandparents were married was a time where people "just stuck it out" and there were very few divorces and it was really looked down upon. People met or were even matched up and quickly got married and stayed married and raised their families and were together until death. I met a man and we were engaged 2-3 weeks later and married after knowing each other only 4 months. We were married for 24 years, but half of those were miserable ones. I think I would prefer my children to know someone at least a year before they married, but it is all a crap shoot these days.
People in my family (two pairs of grandparents, three pairs of great-grandparents, and an aunt and uncle) with the most successful marriage have two things in common: they met before their 20's and married or moved-in soon after meeting each other. People that struggle with their relationships in my family have other things in common, they have ALL went through at least one divorce and they took a long time to marry (one pair even took a DECADE of knowing each other).
I often wonder whether or not the hastily rushed relationship had anything to do with the success and longevity of their relationship. In other words, they all knew they met the one rather early on...
That was a different era. Now, marriage is nothing more than a scam against men perpetuated by women and the state.
My advice to any young man considering marriage: Find a woman who you cannot stand, buy them a house, and give them 55% of your income for the rest of your life.
That was a different era. Now, marriage is nothing more than a scam against men perpetuated by women and the state.
My advice to any young man considering marriage: Find a woman who you cannot stand, buy them a house, and give them 55% of your income for the rest of your life.
Yeah, tell that to my two female friends who are paying alimony to their ex husbands.
Why not just marry a woman who is as successful as you are and who contributes equally to the household money-wise? Wouldn't that solve your problems?
As for the OP, I think a lot of reasons that those marriages worked out in the past was that people weren't nearly as mobile as they are now. We have basically whatever information we want at our fingertips at all times and we have more opportunity to travel. It's not necessarily seen as a bad thing if someone is single and independent at a later age, but back then if you weren't married by a certain age you were basically shunned. Men and women both can date who they want and aren't necessarily hindered by race or even gender/sex of their partners. There is simply less pressure to get married at a young age and I think that's a very good thing.
My advice to any young man considering marriage: Find a woman who you cannot stand, buy them a house, and give them 55% of your income for the rest of your life.
Yeah, that'll work.
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