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So this is my first time posting on this board but I'm hoping to get some feedback on how I should proceed.
I met this guy a little over a month ago on OkCupid. The first night we met up we went for drinks at a trendy bar in one of the city neighborhoods. We had good conversation and ended the night with a really good kiss. I was seriously excited that I actually met a decent guy who I had good conversation with and was attracted to. For the first time, since I started doing the whole online thing, I was optimistic.
For our second date we met again at a bar in a different area of town. Had a few drinks and talked for hours. The night, again, ended with a kiss and the promise to meet up again soon.
Third date was the movies. After the movie was over we sat in the car and talked for over an hour. Everything continued to progress and I figured we were right on track. We were moving along and slowly revealing more about ourselves to one another. I was starting to really like this guy and I felt like he was into me too.
Our fourth date had to be rescheduled...twice. The first time was because he mixed up the time of his work function and actually wasn't done with it as early as he thought he might be. The second time was because his car couldn't be driven. When we finally had our fourth date we went to dinner at a restaurant in my neighborhood and then I invited him in to watch TV. We laid on the couch and made out for awhile and it was good.
Well...then things started to get weird. About 3 days went by without hearing from him. I gave in and called him to which he answered and we continued to make small talk without any mention of his silence. I eventually asked him if something had changed because we'd been talking and making all of these plans and then...nothing. I asked him if he wasn't interested anymore or if something had changed but he assured me that nothing was different.
We made plans for a movie night at his house for our fifth date. I showed up when he asked and we watched a movie during a thunderstorm and then things progressed more than they had before. Everything was fine and well...we were both into it, nothing weird or unusual. When I went to leave I kissed him goodbye and told him to have fun camping (he was going away with his dad, uncle, and friends for the first weekend of trout season). As soon as I stepped out of the door onto his front porch he shut the door. He didn't watch me walk to my car and I immediately felt used. The whole thing felt very rude. I shrugged it off and unintential and I figured he would call me when he got back.
He got back 2 days ago and I haven't heard from him at all.
So how should I proceed? Should I just say screw it and move onto someone else? Should I try to call him one last time and see if there's a reason for his silence? I'm tired of putting effort into something/someone who obviously isn't putting effort into me.
It just doesn't all add up to me. Anybody have any suggestions as to what I should do?
Of course, what you do is up to you. But if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't call him anymore. You did that already and more calls won't really matter. If you feel he's not putting effort into you then why should you waste your time, energy an heartache putting effort into him?
You aren't in a committed relationship at this point and you are doing all the work. I would say move on to someone else at this point. Maybe he will contact you, maybe he won't. But don't put your life on hold for a guy you've only known for a month who doesn't call.
That's just my opinion and what I would do. I am sure others will have differing opinions. Whatever you chose to do, I wish you the best!
You have already shown enough interest in him to let him know that you like him. There is NO CONFUSION about it. Let him make the next move. If he doesn't contact you, it's time to move on. In the mean time, keep your options open to other opportunities, don't sit there and wait for him. The way I see it is, if a man likes or loves you, he will be motivated to find a way to be with you. If he doesn't even pick up the phone to call....Yeah, picking up the phone is pretty easy and effortless and if you aren't even worth that effort or energy, what does that say?
I went through hell and back to court this girl who I eventually married. It wasn't easy but for her, I would sacrifice the world for her. If God came to me and told me, I can only save one: Everyone on earth or just my wife. I guess everyone would be sh.it out of luck.
....and somewhere a dude is sitting at a bar telling his buddy that he had 5 dates with this chick and "she wouldn't put out".
Seriously. That is precisely what is happening. I'd ditch the OKCupid routine.
Well she did say they went ahead and did it, so he got his. The question is whether that was all he was looking for. If he is into her more than that, he'll call. If not, he won't. It's pretty simple.
As soon as I stepped out of the door onto his front porch he shut the door. He didn't watch me walk to my car and I immediately felt used. The whole thing felt very rude. I shrugged it off and unintential and I figured he would call me when he got back.
He got back 2 days ago and I haven't heard from him at all.
It just doesn't all add up to me. Anybody have any suggestions as to what I should do?
Oh hell no. Dump the loser and find yourself a hero.
Three days isnt very long. It's not like he's your boyfriend yet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLeigh2182
As soon as I stepped out of the door onto his front porch he shut the door. He didn't watch me walk to my car and I immediately felt used. The whole thing felt very rude.
Hypersensitive much???? Geez A word of advice for you. No one wants to date someone that is hypersensitive and takes every single teeny tiny small meaningless act as a personal slap in the face.
[G]he made plans for a movie night at his house for our fifth date. I showed up when he asked and we watched a movie during a thunderstorm and then things progressed more than they had before. Everything was fine and well...we were both into it, nothing weird or unusual. When I went to leave I kissed him goodbye and told him to have fun camping (he was going away with his dad, uncle, and friends for the first weekend of trout season). As soon as I stepped out of the door onto his front porch he shut the door. He didn't watch me walk to my car and I immediately felt used. The whole thing felt very rude.
It just doesn't all add up to me. Anybody have any suggestions as to what I should do?
Yes...he paid for everything...except for the time we went to the movies and he agreed to let me buy the popcorn. I did offer to pay or at least split the check every time he took me out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HonestOne1
....and somewhere a dude is sitting at a bar telling his buddy that he had 5 dates with this chick and "she wouldn't put out".
Seriously. That is precisely what is happening. I'd ditch the OKCupid routine.
Well, if he's complaining to his buddies about that then he's lying. Sex was not the issue.
I'm almost 31 years old and I'm keeping all my options open for meeting someone and right now that includes Internet dating. I've used other sites in the past but have had the most luck with OkCupid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scottay
Three days isnt very long. It's not like he's your boyfriend yet.
Hypersensitive much???? Geez A word of advice for you. No one wants to date someone that is hypersensitive and takes every single teeny tiny small meaningless act as a personal slap in the face.
I agree with you...3 days isn't long at all. The only reason it seemed unusual to me was because we'd been in contact every day. Going from every day to that was the red flag for me. And I'm really not hypersensitive. I did brush it off, it just kind of stung that as I left his house not long after we messed around he didn't even have the decency to make sure I got to my car ok in the middle of the night. None of this was ever mentioned to him, mind you, more like just random observations on my part.
Thank you all for your advice thus far. I do appreciate it.
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A word of advice for you. No one wants to date someone that is hypersensitive and takes every single teeny tiny small meaningless act as a personal slap in the face.
