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Old 04-21-2013, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
Don't shoot the messenger. They are talking about actual studies that you can search for.

And it is not very hard to figure out divorce rate. Just ask couples if they waited till marriage and if they are divorced or not.


Some are religious, others are doing it for other reasons. Outside America and Europe it is not uncommon. And the divorce rate is significantly lower.

In my belief many divorces are not due to them being incompatible. I see a lot of divorces happening between couples who are not really that unhappy with each other, but one person cheats, the husband loses his job, lack of effort to work on the relationship, or because the husband/wife wants to have sex with another woman/man.

Maybe it is the case that people who wait till marriage are more faithful, and if people who are not faithful did it, then it wouldn't work. But by waiting till marriage, then you attract faithful women/men.

With the 50% divorce rate and the bad consequences of divorce, then I don't see waiting till marriage as a silly choice.
I know very, very few people who waited until marriage and yet I know lots of happily married people. Most of the couples that I know who waited did so for religious reasons.

Personally, I would never marry someone with out sleeping with them first. I would never tell someone who wanted to wait that they shouldn't - but neither am I going to shame people into waiting by telling them that if they have premarital sex, they'll probably be unfaithful and divorce.

Oh - and I'm married and I had premarital sex. No unfaithfulness here!

Taoistdude - my husband and I have the same number of partners - so I guess we are well matched!

 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:21 PM
 
4,699 posts, read 4,057,907 times
Reputation: 2483
Here is another study from the UK that is not just talking about waiting till marriage.

The wait that's worth it: New couples who delay sex longest are happiest | Mail Online

Quote:
seems mother was right after all.

Relationships that start slowly are more satisfying in the end.

A study of hundreds of couples found those who waited to have sex were happier in the long-run.
Women particularly benefited from not leaping into bed at the first opportunity.

Marriage also seemed to make them happier than co-habiting
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:25 PM
 
896 posts, read 1,473,680 times
Reputation: 2188
Not rocket science people.

If women craved variety, or sex in general, to nearly the same extent that men do, then strip clubs and prostitutes for women would be all over the place. But they are not.

Women crave security and familiarity to a great extent. They are nesters, and always have been. The exceptions are rare.

A man who has escorts, prostitutes, or strippers pre-marriage will have them post marriage. Period.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:25 PM
 
4,699 posts, read 4,057,907 times
Reputation: 2483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I know very, very few people who waited until marriage and yet I know lots of happily married people. Most of the couples that I know who waited did so for religious reasons.

Personally, I would never marry someone with out sleeping with them first. I would never tell someone who wanted to wait that they shouldn't - but neither am I going to shame people into waiting by telling them that if they have premarital sex, they'll probably be unfaithful and divorce.

Oh - and I'm married and I had premarital sex. No unfaithfulness here!

Taoistdude - my husband and I have the same number of partners - so I guess we are well matched!
Not saying all marriages with premarital sex ends in tears, not even close. I know many happy marriages who had sex before marriage. What I am saying is that the risk for divorce and unfaithfulness is much lower if you wait till marriage.

I just reacted when you said you think it is silly to wait till marriage. It is not silly if you are worried about the high divorce rate.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
I doubt faithfulness and number of partners has anything to do with each other.

Otherwise, the older you get (and have more partners) the less likely you would be to be faithful.
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Old 04-21-2013, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
Not saying all marriages with premarital sex ends in tears, not even close. I know many happy marriages. What I am saying is that the risk for divorce and unfaithfulness is much lower if you wait till marriage.

I just reacted when you called it silly to wait till marriage. It is not silly if you are worried about the divorce rate.
Where did I call it silly???

Personally, waiting for marriage wasn't for me. I needed to feel 100% comfortable with my husband before he became my husband. I wanted to know him inside and out. We lived together before we got married, got a joint bank account a few months before we got married, and then got married. This is what worked for us. Like I said in my other post (and many other posts on other threads) - I would never tell someone that wanted to wait that they shouldn't wait. It is a personal decision. But I don't see waiting for marriage as a guarantee of no divorce. My mom knew a couple that waited. They didn't have sex after they got married either. He just didn't want to. Then they got divorced.

I don't think there is a successful marriage equation - if you do this, only sleep with this many people, get married at such and such age, have your BA but not your masters, etc. - you'll live happily ever after. I also don't think it's just luck. A marriage is what the two people involved make of it. Some people really aren't cut out for marriage or commitment.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:38 PM
 
4,699 posts, read 4,057,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Where did I call it silly???
Oh... sorry about that. I thought I was talking to JetJockey the whole time, but somewhere in the middle you took over He said it was silly to wait.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
10,931 posts, read 11,691,276 times
Reputation: 13170
I think the real question is: are you afraid of women who really enjoy sex and know how to get it?
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:44 PM
 
4,699 posts, read 4,057,907 times
Reputation: 2483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
I think the real question is: are you afraid of women who really enjoy sex and know how to get it?
Afraid in what way?
 
Old 04-21-2013, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
Oh... sorry about that. I thought I was talking to JetJockey the whole time, but somewhere in the middle you took over He said it was silly to wait.
Well, we are all entitled to our own opinions. There are some people that believe I'm going to hell because I didn't wait (well, that among other things...). Oh - and JetJockey's a woman.
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