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Old 04-21-2013, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,127 posts, read 15,138,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
This is the study I am talking about 5% divorce rate for people who wait until marriage for sex - INTJ Forum
Here are some other ones Premarital Sex and Greater Risk of Divorce - Focus on the Family

Waiting till marriage is not silly if you care about the high divorce rates.



One interesting quote from the study The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States
Additionally, "Those who marry as non-virgins are also more likely all other things being equal to be unfaithful over the remainder of their life compared with those spouses who do marry as virgins."
The fact that you actually used Focus on the Family make me distrust basically anything else you're going to say on this topic.

Regardless, I only know of 3 couples who waited until marriage, 2 divorced fairly quickly (one was because the guy realized what he was missing out on and decided to cheat repeatedly on his wife before finally divorcing her) and one is still married but fights constantly but can't get divorced because of their religion.

Considering I'm not a virgin, my boat has sailed. And I don't really care about high divorce rates because there's a very very slim chance I'll be getting married.

 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:25 PM
 
5,662 posts, read 2,159,881 times
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My 'opinion', is that there is very little correlation.

This is, as I mentioned, an opinion and any support I could offer for it would be purely allegorical which is obviously pretty worthless and mostly empirical so I wont.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:30 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 942,905 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
The fact that you actually used Focus on the Family make me distrust basically anything else you're going to say on this topic.
You can look at the actual studies. It is normally Christian websites who link to these studies because they have an interest in getting people to wait till marriage. Other sites don't.

Its like that in other areas too. For instance the charts liberals tend to use is mainly made by liberals. The charts conservatives use are mainly made by conservatives. Instead of complaining about the source, what is more important is what is in the source.

Quote:
Regardless, I only know of 3 couples who waited until marriage, 2 divorced fairly quickly (one was because the guy realized what he was missing out on and decided to cheat repeatedly on his wife before finally divorcing her) and one is still married but fights constantly but can't get divorced because of their religion.
That show that you should't wait till marriage if you don't believe in it. The fighting would have happened anyway. But waiting will give it a better chance, because if you are not having sex and fighting then there is little reason to stay together. They never fought before marriage?

While that may be your experience, statistics show that on average the divorce rate is much lower, not higher.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Lubbock, Tx
5,154 posts, read 2,023,331 times
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Let's put it this way. A person who has had lots of sexual partners has probably enjoyed the chase, the flirting, the newness and fun of a new relationship or ONS or whatever. Now they get married and life gets dull and boring after so many years. IF the marriage is not solid, yes, I think a person that has enjoyed affairs, romances etc before is more likely to begin to seek out that which was fun and enjoyable in their youth. I think this is what is behind the swinging and the swapping etc.

And being Christian doesn't seem to help. Most Christians don't seriously live their faith. Their divorce rate is the same as the general population.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,491 posts, read 3,976,434 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
This is the study I am talking about 5% divorce rate for people who wait until marriage for sex - INTJ Forum
Here are some other ones Premarital Sex and Greater Risk of Divorce - Focus on the Family

Waiting till marriage is not silly if you care about the high divorce rates.
Hmmm. I wonder if that's actually a valid study? I found this, that may indicate the reverse:

Values about premarital sex associated with the Bible Belt and rural America may be encouraging people to marry early, at ages when they are likely to have less education and less income to support a long-lasting marriage, according to Naomi Cahn, law professor at The George Washington University Law School and co-author of "Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture."

"There's a moral crisis in red states that's produced by higher divorce rates and the disparity between parental values and behavior of young adults," said Cahn. "There is enormous tension between moral values and actual practices."

reported here: What's fueling Bible Belt divorces - CNN.com
 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:44 PM
 
19,774 posts, read 15,190,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
While the divorce rate is around 50% for an average couple, the divorce rate is 5% for couples who wait till marriage.

I think fewer sexual partners make better marriages. If you are used to treat sex like it is nothing, then what is stopping you from having sex with someone else when your marriage hit a rough spot?
Except that the divorce rate is NOT 50%. Not even close to 50%

5% rate for those who wait? That is nowhere near accurate. It is laughable at best.

Actually, the divorce rate has been trending down for the last few years.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:54 PM
 
6,756 posts, read 3,376,273 times
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Cheating is not usually about sex.

It's about 'cheating' -- about the excitement of breaking one's word, the thrill that comes with the possibility of getting caught, the denial that says, 'I didn't create this agreement, he/she imposed it on me', pretending to be a kid in relation to your spouse who is the parent, feeling attractive when things aren't going well in the marriage, etc., etc.

That said, I have known people of various genders who are driven nearly crazy by the idea that they have not sown enough wild oats before marriage, and what they might have missed out on. This does make the susceptible to cheating.

Your best bet, obviously, is to marry someone who has had lots and lots of sexual partners before you and has thereby matured emotionally and learned exactly what s/he wants -- and it is you.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 04:58 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 942,905 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
Hmmm. I wonder if that's actually a valid study? I found this:

Values about premarital sex associated with the Bible Belt and rural America may be encouraging people to marry early, at ages when they are likely to have less education and less income to support a long-lasting marriage, according to Naomi Cahn, law professor at The George Washington University Law School and co-author of "Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture."

"There's a moral crisis in red states that's produced by higher divorce rates and the disparity between parental values and behavior of young adults," said Cahn. "There is enormous tension between moral values and actual practices."

reported here: What's fueling Bible Belt divorces - CNN.com
Actually the higher nominal divorce rate is mainly driven by a higher marriage rate. Some states like California stopped releasing their divorce numbers as they were having a 75% divorce rate.

Who exactly is encouraging them to marry really young? And if you decide to marry really young to have sex, then of course you set yourself up for failure. Some christian groups are encouraging people to get married before 30, but not when they are 20.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 05:06 PM
 
19,774 posts, read 15,190,912 times
Reputation: 16092
Quote:
Originally Posted by Camlon View Post
Actually the higher nominal divorce rate is mainly driven by a higher marriage rate. Some states like California stopped releasing their divorce numbers as they were having a 75% divorce rate.

Who exactly is encouraging them to marry really young? And if you decide to marry really young to have sex, then of course you set yourself up for failure. Some christian groups are encouraging people to get married before 30, but not when they are 20.
That is the funniest thing I've read all day.

Actually according to the census data for 2009 the divorce rate per 1000 was 8 for men and 8.9 for women.

Nationally the rate per 1000 is 9.2 for men and 9.7 for women.

Divorce Statistics and Divorce Rate in the USA

75% is silly and not based on any sort of reality.
 
Old 04-21-2013, 05:08 PM
 
10,016 posts, read 4,464,026 times
Reputation: 22103
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
One of the linked articles on LiveScience also had this:

"[study] found that couples tended to be matched in their level of sexual experience prior to their relationship. That is, individuals with relatively high levels of sexual experience tended to pair with others of high levels of sexual experience, and so on.

Furthermore, the more similar the couples were in terms of their prior sexual experience, the higher their satisfaction and commitment to the relationship."

Conversely - perhaps - mismatched experience levels may mean less commitment and greater propensity to stray.

This is one area where I firmly believe like goes best with like. I don't know about cheating, but if one has a lot more experience than the other, I'd say there's an increased chance of the partner with less experience letting insecurity and jealousy get the better of him or her.
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