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The op needs to learn to identify women who would flake on him. That way he can write them off and concentrate on finding women whom are sincere, honest, and forthright. Like the women who came through my life.
I'm not saying you're wrong.. because I agree with you. I'm just wondering if you're giving advice for a different style of dating than what the OP is doing?
He is going off of cold approaches, you can't tell a woman's personality from talking to her for 5-20 minutes and getting her number. When you're going to just walk up and talk to random women, it's great.. but you're going to get flaked on a LOT. There are certain things you can do to help that.
Majority of women are very nice and quite thoughtful, and the majority of women you meet in a cold approach will probably end up flaking if you don't do anything in-between meeting them and asking them out. Something doesn't add up!
Keep it simple - find a mate and settle - That will be your only friend...as far as friends - have respectable associates to socialize with...Adults don't need "friends" - this is not high school.
Why does everyone make such a big deal about a cold approach? Don't even call it an approach at all. Just talk to women that you see without thinking if they're available or not. If you hit it off, ask em out. Don't go in with the intent of asking them out, just enjoy your time interacting with others. That's all it takes.
If you go in with no intentions, and just conversation.. it's much more laid back and there's nothing to worry about.
This is very true. And keep in mind that if you're friendly to everyone, they might just think you're a perfect candidate for their single neighbour, friend, granddaughter, co-worker, etc.
When people found out I was single again, I didn't have guys approaching me but rather friends/neighbours/coworkers telling me they knew of a guy who was looking for someone just like me. I was sort of set up with two of them and it just so happens I'm engaged to the second guy I went out with. And that all happened because people liked me, not just specifically single males looking for a date.
This is very true. And keep in mind that if you're friendly to everyone, they might just think you're a perfect candidate for their single neighbour, friend, granddaughter, co-worker, etc.
When people found out I was single again, I didn't have guys approaching me but rather friends/neighbours/coworkers telling me they knew of a guy who was looking for someone just like me. I was sort of set up with two of them and it just so happens I'm engaged to the second guy I went out with. And that all happened because people liked me, not just specifically single males looking for a date.
Yes.
Be nice to others because it may benefit you.
You know what.
I'm actually going to (somewhat) agree with you on this one.
After re-reading the post my conclusion did not follow what the poster intended.
Mia culpa
I'm not saying you're wrong.. because I agree with you. I'm just wondering if you're giving advice for a different style of dating than what the OP is doing?
He is going off of cold approaches, you can't tell a woman's personality from talking to her for 5-20 minutes and getting her number. When you're going to just walk up and talk to random women, it's great.. but you're going to get flaked on a LOT. There are certain things you can do to help that.
Majority of women are very nice and quite thoughtful, and the majority of women you meet in a cold approach will probably end up flaking if you don't do anything in-between meeting them and asking them out. Something doesn't add up!
I am only going off what the op stated. I agree something does not add up. I think if she shows a general disinterest when you approach and have conversation with her and gives you her number just to be done with you. It would be obvious to me to write her off. If she expects you to keep her entertained as well as interested while returning none of the same would be another example.
I'm a good looking guy and I can sense body language pretty well. I won't ask out a girl who is not giving me very positive body language
and I know that cold approach isn't ideal, but it's the only option for me at this point. OLD is worthless, I can't meet women through friends or work. I have no other choice but to cold approach (IE gym, going out to bars and clubs, talking to a girl who works at a store, etc..)
I'm going to be single for another 50 years if I don't go out there and at least try to cold approach
OK, I've been married to my husband for almost 30 years but a little history - you sound like he did at one time. He had friends (only child) but he didn't date much; he did meet a girl through friends (she had been divorced already so he was not thinking of her as dating material) and she asked for a ride one day; she was very forward and was very aggressive with him in the car - so much so, he almost had an accident!
Always, they dated (kind of how I ended up meeting him) and eventually broke up. I knew him as a friend.
Couple of years went by - he dated 33 women - (one threw a drink in his face at a bar when he asked her out). Obviously, none of them worked out. Conclusion: he was just asked the wrong "type" of woman out; he was a nice guy (still is), good looking but shy. After we were dating, I found a list with the 33 and how discouraged he felt!
Anyway, because of the girlfriend above (paragraph), he and I finally got together, rest is history but we were just friends and I knew him as a FRIEND first so my advice is just to concentrate on things you like to do (hobbies, things that hit your soul) and you will find the right person.
PS - I was also kind of discouraged but our getting together came at an extremely busy time in my life - I had started a business and dating was the furthest thing from my mind....then it happened - within 2 years of starting my business, I was married and had a baby.....
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