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You can't honestly compare overweight to Jetjockeys condition!
I would date a guy with scars. Or who has to go to the doctor/hospital every few weeks. If everything else is good with him, I would do it.
If he is a nice person and has other stuff to talk about other than his "flaws", totally dateable! Jetjockey doesn't make the impression that she sits all day at home, complaining. Keep your spirits up, there is somebody out there for you.
Yes, I think maybe in the medical field - a male nurse/doctor/...? I also agree, you weed superficial a-holes out quicker as other people (= less dates with weirdos = not too bad!!).
Women are more inclined to be nurturing and supportive in that type of situation. There are definitely nurturing, supportive men out there, they're just harder to find.
Physical flaws are just like any other flaws like being fat. It makes you less attractive. Hence, women with physical flaws, normally date less attractive males. Some don't date at all and many date people with similar disabilities as they can understand each other easier.
Of course there are exceptions, but I think you will find that in many of those cases either
1. The physical flaw is not making her/him look unattractive
2. They acquired the physical flaws after being together for a long time.
I hope you find someone who isn't bothered by this. I think they're out there, but as you say from your experience, much much harder to find. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this issue.
Yes, I'm sorry for you Jet, I wish I could change things for you. But you're right men are more visual than women are in general so it'd be harder for a woman with physical flaws than a man, though neither are easy.
Physical flaws are just like any other flaws like being fat. It makes you less attractive. Hence, women with physical flaws, normally date less attractive males. Some don't date at all and many date people with similar disabilities as they can understand each other easier.
Of course there are exceptions, but I think you will find that in many of those cases either
1. The physical flaw is not making her/him look unattractive
2. They acquired the physical flaws after being together for a long time.
Completely agreed. It would be nice if men focused a bit less on what a woman looks like and a bit more on who she is..but I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiscombobulateYa
Maybe look for other physically flawed people like themselves.
Not true.
Most physically flawed people are looking to find someone normal to balance themselves out. They already have to take care of their disorder/look at themselves in the mirror every day and they don't want a partner that will add MORE of a burden to their lives.
Most people have flaws of some kind, and you see them every day, walking hand-in-hand with a loved one. Unless your prospective date is expecting perfection, it's likely you have as much a chance to date as the next person.
Most people have flaws of some kind, and you see them every day, walking hand-in-hand with a loved one. Unless your prospective date is expecting perfection, it's likely you have as much a chance to date as the next person.
I don't necessarily think it's 'perfection', just no huge physical flaws. I think some of it depends on age as well...I'm 29 and most women my age are don't have large physical flaws, unless you count being overweight/obese as a flaw. When given the option, most people will go for the person without the flaws than for the person with the flaws. That's just the way it works for people my age.
It depends on that individual's own attitude about their flaws, I suppose. However, it would be negligent to dismiss the mental and emotional affects of having many flaws that are almost always revolting to others, to the point where the individual develops low self-esteem, mood or personality disorders and insecurities that end up working against him or her in the end; it's hard to accept the saying "be happy with yourself and your flaws will be overlooked" when they aren't overlooked and you're judged on them everyday.
If you're someone with lots of scars or an uncommon disfigurement, people will stare at you or frown, make comments that can make one feel like a monster who doesn't belong. It's very difficult to accept that people with many flaws like this should just ignore everything and not be affected by it, and then feel willing to date so easily, knowing that someone could be disgusted by them.
As a woman with many flaws seen as "unattrractive" or maybe even "gross" to many people, I know that they have directly affected - negatively - how I approach men, and my response to men who approach me. So I think it depends on each individual's perception of his flaws that could make dating a nightmare or a pleasant experience.
It depends on that individual's own attitude about their flaws, I suppose. However, it would be negligent to dismiss the mental and emotional affects of having many flaws that are almost always revolting to others, to the point where the individual develops low self-esteem, mood or personality disorders and insecurities that end up working against him or her in the end; it's hard to accept the saying "be happy with yourself and your flaws will be overlooked" when they aren't overlooked and you're judged on them everyday.
If you're someone with lots of scars or an uncommon disfigurement, people will stare at you or frown, make comments that can make one feel like a monster who doesn't belong. It's very difficult to accept that people with many flaws like this should just ignore everything and not be affected by it, and then feel willing to date so easily, knowing that someone could be disgusted by them.
As a woman with many flaws seen as "unattrractive" or maybe even "gross" to many people, I know that they have directly affected - negatively - how I approach men, and my response to men who approach me. So I think it depends on each individual's perception of his flaws that could make dating a nightmare or a pleasant experience.
Beautifully said.
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