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I do not understand how the OP can say she has no money and noplace to go, when she has stated explicitly in various posts that she is employed and her parents live 3 minutes away. Since she and her husband both work, certainly there is some sort of child care in place, so...
What gives? Why does she keep saying she has "nothing"?
Men like this like the power and if you insulted them it may actually cause more rage in them. I speak from experience and have felt those hands around my neck choking me while he was yelling at me never to speak to him like that again.
After he asked and served everyone else ice cream, I spoke up and said Why haven't you offered me any? He ignored me. His adult daughter and her family sat there and ate their ice cream and didn't say a word. I had to get up and get myself some ice cream.
He waited until everyone left and then he attacked me. Everyone deserves respect so I was just speaking up, but of course he did not have any respect for me and he was yelling that I "embarrassed him" by saying that in front of his daughter and her husband and kids ??? What the?? I was the one embarrassed being ignored in a room of 6 people but that didn't matter cause I didn't matter.
Please don't add anything to his pile of rubbish, he is not going to change now and you don't want to start a fire.
Just leave and get the professional help you need. Your life will improve and your children will thank you one day for it.
Last edited by Keeper; 05-01-2013 at 08:26 AM..
Reason: quoted post removed
Don't listen to the above poster please! I would be more afraid of you getting physically hurt if you decided to speak up and insult him back.
Men like this like the power and if you insulted them it may actually cause more rage in them. I speak from experience and have felt those hands around my neck choking me while he was yelling at me never to speak to him like that again.
After he asked and served everyone else ice cream, I spoke up and said Why haven't you offered me any? He ignored me. His adult daughter and her family sat there and ate their ice cream and didn't say a word. I had to get up and get myself some ice cream.
He waited until everyone left and then he attacked me. Everyone deserves respect so I was just speaking up, but of course he did not have any respect for me and he was yelling that I "embarrassed him" by saying that in front of his daughter and her husband and kids ??? What the?? I was the one embarrassed being ignored in a room of 6 people but that didn't matter cause I didn't matter.
Please don't add anything to his pile of rubbish, he is not going to change now and you don't want to start a fire.
Just leave and get the professional help you need. Your life will improve and your children will thank you one day for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Your posts are absurd, but this one takes the cake. Have you left your mother's apron strings yet?
"Tell him to get his act together." Right. Yell back. I am guessing you have never been in ANY relationship, let alone an abusive one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slanderous
Telling her to be violent with him is terrible advice.
Really. Getting violent or firing back at him would be like throwing gasoline on a fire. It's a great way to get hurt or killed.
OP, you know what you need to do, for yourself and for your kids, and that is leave. I hope you find the strength to do so soon.
I do not understand how the OP can say she has no money and noplace to go, when she has stated explicitly in various posts that she is employed and her parents live 3 minutes away. Since she and her husband both work, certainly there is some sort of child care in place, so...
What gives? Why does she keep saying she has "nothing"?
Not to mention the fact that her parents could handle child care, when she and the kids move in. I said "when", not "if" they move in. OP, there's no time like the present. Sure, it's a big step, but there's no other solution. Screw up your courage, and do what you have to do. Talk to the counselor about it, or call a shelter to get someone to help talk you through it. btw, do your parents even know there's a problem? If not, by all means, talk to them, and enlist their moral support!
If that happens, obviously she calls the cops. The VWA may be ridiculous, but it has its uses. Show the cops one shiner and he'll be screwed.
Let him get raped in holding and he'll calm down real quick, lol.
Think Reality Peanuttree!
He beats her. How does she just pick up the phone and calls the cops when it's happening? She can't.
If the cops do come it's not when its actually happening, the damage has already been done. She's gotten the shiner, the brain has shook in her head, maybe even a concussion, broken ribs, etc. She is in physical pain and maybe even the kids have witnessed the beating.
The cops arrest him, sure he may sit in a cell for a short period of time but then he's out again awaiting trial. During that time, sure there's a PIECE of PAPER saying don't go near her but that won't stop him.
He's really mad now, he's embarrassed by being arrested. He had to spend a night in jail, he's pissed off that she's involved the cops and is not obeying him.
Let's say he goes to jail, what type of sentence would he get? Not enough, maybe even probation depending on the outcome. He gets out of jail or he's on probation, hating that authorities has control over his life. What if he does get raped in jail, he is going to blame that all on her and his rage will continue to grow!
He following her around, watching her movements, when the opportunity arises his rage might make him totally snap and then she's dead by his hand.
The majority of murders are done by a person known to the victim, domestic violence murders are very high on that list.
Think in reality please. Words written on a piece of paper won't save her. She needs to leave that terrible situation. People say why didn't she do something years ago, why doesn't she stand up to him, well she didn't for what ever reason.
The fact is she is posting to strangers now that she needs help so that is what we need to try to give her, advice that will help her.
If you think that letting the kids stay in the house is a good thing then you really need to talk to a counselor. First staying together for the kids when he treats you badly is not good for the kids. You are showing your kids that it is OK to be yelled at and have things thrown at you. It is OK for someone to make fun of you even if it hurts your feelings.
Your children will survive leaving the house but will you survive staying in house?
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