U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:29 AM
 
1,305 posts, read 2,164,808 times
Reputation: 1817

Advertisements

I see often that people get bashed for being shallow when they say they prefer someone based on certain attributes of looks. If you think about it, looks is the only fair and non-arbitrary way to judge a person. It's the least shallow method to me. It's the most natural way to judge since most "normal" people need to be physically attracted to their mate to have sex with them. Shallow to me is someone rejected a person for having the wrong kind of car, having a mole in the wrong place of the body, or for not having enough friends. Even if I'm considered ugly, I'd much rather be judged on the looks than other certain traits.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:39 AM
 
286 posts, read 352,857 times
Reputation: 395
Being attracted to somebody and judging somebody are two different things.

Nobody has the right to judge anybody. Nobody's perfect.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:39 AM
 
224 posts, read 294,104 times
Reputation: 303
Because looks fade.

Wouldn't you be annoyed if you found out the only reason your SO is with you is because you're attractive.

You don't even need to be good looking to get in a relationship anymore. From what I've seen anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:42 AM
 
Location: NY
9,071 posts, read 15,062,085 times
Reputation: 11515
I think it is because passing an overall judgement on someone, based on a very cursory review of one or a few basic traits is shallow by definition, since it discounts or ignores other traits which would take a deeper or longer review to evalutate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:43 AM
 
224 posts, read 294,104 times
Reputation: 303
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishMajor1983 View Post
Nobody's perfect.
I feel like ppl forget this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,684 posts, read 4,289,246 times
Reputation: 7524
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
I see often that people get bashed for being shallow when they say they prefer someone based on certain attributes of looks. If you think about it, looks is the only fair and non-arbitrary way to judge a person. It's the least shallow method to me. It's the most natural way to judge since most "normal" people need to be physically attracted to their mate to have sex with them. Shallow to me is someone rejected a person for having the wrong kind of car, having a mole in the wrong place of the body, or for not having enough friends. Even if I'm considered ugly, I'd much rather be judged on the looks than other certain traits.

It isn't so much being attracted to looks that gets bashed as shallow; after all, everyone here (and I do mean EVERYONE) has a preference, a type that does it for them. Tastes vary and some have more than one type. It's a personal thing, and really nobody gets bashed for that.

Where you start to see the bashing is when someone announces they will ONLY date such-and-such, that ALL qualifications must be met before they'll so much as set foot out the door on a date; or when someone begins to describe how such-and-such DISqualification totally made every other seemingly great quality about someone simply not count for anything.

If you've got a person who whines about never being able to find a quality mate, and then they come in here and tell (because lives tend to get narrated in here more often than not) about their latest prospective partner... and everything sounds great -- when suddenly! [cue horns of shock and disgust]

...that prospective partner got a big, red zit on the side of their nose that just wouldn't go away immediately! Omigod how can they LIVE with that, it's like another HEAD!

And they dump 'em.

Sounds extreme; but take a look around these forums, read back through the histories and annals and archives, you'll find all sorts.


The other reason is because people are generally sheep with little thought, and it's so politically correct to "like" everyone and "appreciate" everyone and "accept" everyone that it's become unthinkable to reject anyone, and that's just as silly. You may as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward. But that's how it is.

It all depends on the mood of the person typing the answer. Always remember: If we hate him, he GOT HER pregnant; if we hate her, SHE GOT pregnant.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:46 AM
 
5,957 posts, read 5,444,709 times
Reputation: 10600
It's not attraction based on looks that is commonly called shallow.

It's 1. having overly narrow parameters for looks or
2. placing looks as a super high priority to the near exclusion of all else.

That's what gets people called shallow.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,684 posts, read 4,289,246 times
Reputation: 7524
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishMajor1983 View Post
Being attracted to somebody and judging somebody are two different things.

Nobody has the right to judge anybody. Nobody's perfect.

Really? We judge people every single day based on cursory views.

We judge whether or not we'd be interested in someone based on their looks, and we do it DAILY. It may be quick and unconscious, it may be impersonal and completely unknown by the other party; but we see someone and look away because they're not worth another look, or we see someone and look longer, or seek another look, because they ARE worth another look.

"Looking's not the same as judging."

I dare say it is, since looking is the FIRST step in almost ANY relationship, the very first judgment made. Relationships may well move beyond that; I don't know specifically of any women who have approached me based on looks (there may be some) but I know of several who have approached me upon getting to know me better and being impressed by my words, or mind, or knowledge, and overall personality.

But I know of a LOT more people who displayed interest in someone based on looks initially. Everyone does it, and pretty much everyone denies it because it's so subtle they don't even realize they do it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:49 AM
 
22,769 posts, read 26,244,473 times
Reputation: 14558
Why do people start threads with a premise pulled out of thin air?


Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
I see often that people get bashed for being shallow when they say they prefer someone based on certain attributes of looks.
I don't.

Quote:
If you think about it, looks is the only fair and non-arbitrary way to judge a person.
No, it isn't.

Quote:
It's the least shallow method to me. It's the most natural way to judge since most "normal" people need to be physically attracted to their mate to have sex with them. Shallow to me is someone rejected a person for having the wrong kind of car, having a mole in the wrong place of the body, or for not having enough friends. Even if I'm considered ugly, I'd much rather be judged on the looks than other certain traits.
ok.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-29-2013, 07:51 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,677 posts, read 44,354,101 times
Reputation: 25001
Urban Dictionary: shallow
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top