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I posted that in caps because I'd be yelling it in real life a la Lewis Black.
I get that women are different, but it'd be nice to get some freaking consistency, or better yet for half our female population not to be paranoid freaks.
And for the non-paranoid women, would it kill you to be a little more open or agressive, or just obvious if you're attracted to a guy, so that he knows it would be appropriate to apporach you? The whole "creeper" thing puts us reactvely on edge, since it could potentially be a big deal (the way some of these posters post, I wouldn't be surprised if some come-ons end up with cops being called just because the woman is that much of a spazz - at the very least she may start going around telling people you're some kind of crazy person based on just one come-on)
See, that's just not a very nice or accurate thing to say. First of all - all people are different. That's what makes us all unique. That's what makes falling in love with the right person so amazing. If we were all the same and we all liked the same thing - would real love even exit? Secondly, half of the female population are not paranoid freaks. It's hard to understand why you even want to find a woman since it seems like you really don't like us very much at all. I'm sorry that things have been tough for you - but if you let it turn you bitter against the entire female gender, things are going to get even tougher.
If you are having such an incredible negative reaction from women - you should probably rethink your approach. For instance, what are you doing or saying to these women?
I'm in the same situation a lot of guys are in. I'm not in school, and don't have a huge social life. Everyone I know is a bit of a lumpkin and it's hard to get them to go out. And especially I've NEVER been the kind of person who goes out to bars and stuff with a whole crew/gaggle of young people. I highly doubt that's my scene. I've kind of always been 40, personality wise. For me to meet someone, it would have to be just out doing somehting.
Maybe I'm stressing myself too much just because I'm not striking up conversation with every woman while I'm shopping, but in general I don't have many going-out times in my life.
So, do any women get this? Do they have to be like 30 or over and working all the time before they understand this and finally acquiesce to just meeting people on a day-to-day basis? Are women that put off by a guy asking for a hang-out after meeting and talking for a while?
Once upon a time, not so very long ago, a boy met a girl in a bar. Unbeknownst to the boy and the girl, they had a mutual friend, who happened to be at the bar that night too. The friend introduced the boy to the girl. The girl politely said, "Hello" and went back to her friend. The boy would walk by the girl, smile and make small chit chat. Boy ends up chatting with the girl more and they exchange phone numbers. In the olden days, people communicated by phone or face to face conversations. The boy and girl date, get engaged and marry. After almost 20 years they are still together.
Moral of the story--not every guy that approaches a woman has a creepy agenda. Just because some women might think so, they shouldn't ruin it for you and make you think we all have a problem being approached. I think you should do what you feel you want to do. If you see someone you're attracted to then forget about this whole "cold approach" stuff (btw, I myself do not like this term). Meeting someone shouldn't be so complicated. It's ok to not be into the bar thing--work with what makes you comfortable.
Secondly, half of the female population are not paranoid freaks.
GEEZ! Can we stop taking every last word so literally. I was clearly exaggurating for effect. But there is apparently a large contingent of women who are like this. One woman even had a whole list of what's wrong with some theoretical guy if he hits on her, like she's some kind of frwaking pyschic!
Quote:
It's hard to understand why you even want to find a woman since it seems like you really don't like us very much at all.
Yeah, I definitely don't want one of these spazzes. Anybody that scared of the world can't be that much fun. Most men will tell you modern American women (again, at least in the blue states) have the femininity of a dead rotting hippo carcass. I'm hoping that learning Spanish will potentially introduce me to more balanced people (men, too - ughh, don't get me started on our yuppie culture)
So the good news, which I long suspected, is that the come-on is itself a filter. Scared like a freak from a little attention? Check off the list
OK...
but what makes me "comfortable", or what I "feel", might be too shy...
I mean it when I say that "following your gut" is bad advice for women. It can be bad advice for men, too. I've learned this from personal experience. The more I live the more I have to realize:
MY PERCEPTIONS ARE NOT NECESSARILY REALITY
GEEZ! Can we stop taking every last word so literally. I was clearly exaggurating for effect. But there is apparently a large contingent of women who are like this. One woman even had a whole list of what's wrong with some theoretical guy if he hits on her, like she's some kind of frwaking pyschic!
Yeah, I definitely don't want one of these spazzes. Anybody that scared of the world can't be that much fun. Most men will tell you modern American women (again, at least in the blue states) have the femininity of a dead rotting hippo carcass. I'm hoping that learning Spanish will potentially introduce me to more balanced people (men, too - ughh, don't get me started on our yuppie culture)
So the good news, which I long suspected, is that the come-on is itself a filter. Scared like a freak from a little attention? Check off the list
I have a feeling that if you stopped all the negativity and insults - people would be more accepting of you. Honestly - I can't believe the things that you keep posting. They are really offensive to women. I don't think anyone expects you to adore the entire gender - but seriously - rotting hippo carcass? That's disgusting and insulting.
The funny thing is - I'm probably the type of woman you are looking for. I don't think you are ready for someone like me. I'm not saying it will never happen - I just think you might need to do a little soul searching first.
So far, I'm seeing several replies mentioning "...place and circumstances, appropriate time..." And I guess this might be true as it appears that women are more relaxed or comfortable if this sort of thing occurs say, if they are your neighbor or even at work platonically.[as far as breaking the ice, not asking out] But... Not so easy on the street, especially if they perceive a guy as grungy or creepy, which isnt very hard either way, nowadays.
It's never really happened to me before but being hit by a complete stranger, especially a big burly man, out of the blue sounds extremely scary to me. I'd be like WTF did I do to deserve such violence upon my person? All I was doing was studying the prices of canned vegetables when all of a sudden this weirdo starts swatting me upside the head? Was my shopping cart too far into your space mister? I mean really, some people!!!
Sorry just had to be silly for a minute. The title of the thread keeps giving me a chuckle but then again I have a rather odd imagination.
It's never really happened to me before but being hit by a complete stranger, especially a big burly man, out of the blue sounds extremely scary to me. I'd be like WTF did I do to deserve such violence upon my person? All I was doing was studying the prices of canned vegetables when all of a sudden this weirdo starts swatting me upside the head? Was my shopping cart too far into your space mister? I mean really, some people!!!
Sorry just had to be silly for a minute. The title of the thread keeps giving me a chuckle but then again I have a rather odd imagination.
Maybe there was a fly on you. Some guys are just so kind hearted, and it brought out the protector instinct.
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