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OP, why did you post here, if you didn't want feedback from strangers thousands of miles away on the internet? 'Cause that does tend to be the result when people put up topics on an internet forum.
I did.
And logically I don't appreciate people lambasting me for silly things that are OT to my post.
I'm not the one who's being rude here.
I expound on the fact that women go way overboard with the "creepy" thing, and all of a sudden I'm (accused of being) freaking seething-with-rage-Taxi-Driver. Such comments are silly armchair psychiatry, nothing but silly sophistry and an attempt to look enlightened and knowledgable and play holier-than-though, and not appreciated since they're only OT and misandrous.
As long as people keep posting and won't drop these things that I have proven to be false I will keep posting back.
Last edited by Peanuttree; 04-30-2013 at 04:14 PM..
How about you accept the fact that not all women are the same just like not all men are the same. Seriously? We aren't all going to react the same way to the same person because we are all different people.
OP, why did you post here, if you didn't want feedback from strangers thousands of miles away on the internet? 'Cause that does tend to be the result when people put up topics on an internet forum.
I did post for avice.
And logically I don't appreciate people lambasting me for silly things that are OT to my post.
I'm not the one who's being rude here.
I expound on the fact that women go way overboard with the "creepy" thing, and all of a sudden I'm (accused of being) freaking seething-with-rage-Taxi-Driver. Such comments are silly armchair psychiatry, nothing but silly sophistry and an attempt to look enlightened and knowledgable and play holier-than-though, and not appreciated since they're only OT and misandrous.
As long as people keep posting and won't drop these things that I have proven to be false I will keep posting back, I will keep defending myself and I will not allow any accusations go unanswered.
These certain posters have only managed to side-track my post by a few pages and prove how unbalanced and misandrous they are.
I did.
And logically I don't appreciate people lambasting me for silly things that are OT to my post.
I'm not the one who's being rude here.
I expound on the fact that women go way overboard with the "creepy" thing, and all of a sudden I'm (accused of being) freaking seething-with-rage-Taxi-Driver. Such comments are silly armchair psychiatry, nothing but silly sophistry and an attempt to look enlightened and knowledgable and play holier-than-though, and not appreciated since they're only OT and misandrous.
As long as people keep posting and won't drop these things that I have proven to be false I will keep posting back.
None of us here are worth the aggravation.
Okay, people will read messages and they will get a feel of the tone of the message. I've had people make accusations at me. In some cases, I respond and then let it go. There are rare cases where I find some commotion so entertaining that I have to check out the party.
[silly]Now, angry, I can take, seething-with-rage, I have my moments. But if one ever calls me a taxi driver, I might freak out. Nothing about me even suggests that I drive a taxi. He might suffer certain repercussions like... being laughed at, being taken to get help, or being walked away from. [/silly]
OK, OP? I just back-tracked through the whole thread to try to figure out where things went wrong. Honestly, I thought you had a great question, you opened with a good OP. But then, on the first page already, you started over-reacting, and yelling at people (all caps posts). So that's why people got the idea you're angry, and that you have some kind of issue relating to women sometimes feeling creeped out by guys. And the whole discussion spiraled down from there.
So, how about taking a deep breath, clearing the air, and starting over in a constructive spirit?
My 2 cents: No, it's not at all weird for women to get hit on by a stranger. Plenty of women secretly hope to get chatted up when they go out, even if only to the grocery store.
If you get rebuffed a lot by women, that's just par for the course. Chin up, and keep trying. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, except they're not available, or you're not their type.
BUT, if you get unusual reactions from them, like unusually negative reactions, they you might consider taking a look at how you come across. Keep your approach light and casual, and if the woman responds well, and seems to enjoy the convo, ask her if you could buy her a coffee, or something. Whatever you do, don't get angry if she turns you down, as some guys do.
Nobody said this pairing-up business was easy. Don't let it get you down. If cold-approaches aren't working, try joining groups, meet-ups, activities, whatever, where people can get to know you without you having to do a cold-approach.
Good luck, OP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree
REALLY? Really? I mean really? OF COURSE he opened with some made-up stuff, HALF THE WOMEN OUT THERE WILL CALL YOU A CREEP IF YOU JUST COMPLEMENT THEM. They'll literally think you're some kind of rapist.
How about you women get together and make a decision about what's appropriate?
And I keep repeatedly pointing out that YOU'RE BEING ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS playing armchair psychiatrist when YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME
If I post on something that pisses me off, if we're talking about a subject that bugs me, of COURSE I'm gonna be bugged abnout it! DUH!
You're being ridiculous. STOP POSTING IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING USEFUL TO SAY!
I'm not playing armchair psychiatrist. I'm simply pointing out that you are coming off as very angry. If women continually call you creepy or are turned off by you - you might want to take a look at how you are coming off. If I was playing armchair psychiatrist - I would delve into WHY you are angry. But I have no idea why you are so angry! Most of the guys that hit on me were pretty nice about it. Most of the guys weren't creepy. Of course, there were a few creepy guys and there were a few angry guys. That's not fun.
Relax. Take a deep breath. Grab a beer or something. Watch a funny movie. Then come back and post without all the anger, attacks, and insults.
REALLY? Really? I mean really? OF COURSE he opened with some made-up stuff, HALF THE WOMEN OUT THERE WILL CALL YOU A CREEP IF YOU JUST COMPLEMENT THEM. They'll literally think you're some kind of rapist.
How about you women get together and make a decision about what's appropriate?
I posted that in caps because I'd be yelling it in real life a la Lewis Black.
I get that women are different, but it'd be nice to get some freaking consistency, or better yet for half our female population not to be paranoid freaks.
And for the non-paranoid women, would it kill you to be a little more open or agressive, or just obvious if you're attracted to a guy, so that he knows it would be appropriate to apporach you? The whole "creeper" thing puts us reactvely on edge, since it could potentially be a big deal (the way some of these posters post, I wouldn't be surprised if some come-ons end up with cops being called just because the woman is that much of a spazz - at the very least she may start going around telling people you're some kind of crazy person based on just one come-on)
So, do any women get this? Do they have to be like 30 or over and working all the time before they understand this and finally acquiesce to just meeting people on a day-to-day basis? Are women that put off by a guy asking for a hang-out after meeting and talking for a while?
Women get hit on every hour of the day in public. I have had men hit on my wife right in front of me. Women just pick and choose who they date.
I would not try to make sense of it, it will only make you crazy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peanuttree
As long as people keep posting and won't drop these things that I have proven to be false I will keep posting back.
Proof is in the pudding. Why argue, your way is working for you right?
Maybe you don't know how to read social cues, and maybe that's part of the problem. Women will smile to signal that it's ok to continue the approach, once you're opened with a comment. They'll get into the conversation with some energy, or else they'll give you short answers while looking or turning away, to communicate they're not into it. Sometimes women are caught by surprise at first, and so can't offer any cues straight off. You just have to play these things by ear. If you're not good at reading cues, that can cause you to come across as inappropriate. Tune in to facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. And btw, it helps to give off a mellow vibe. Ditch the anger or frustration.
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'Cause that does tend to be the result when people put up topics on an internet forum.
