Is Everything Cheating These days? (long-term, man, love, friends)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't worry about FB, or looking at pictures online or any of those things. I wouldn't have married my husband if those were issues. I probably have most of his passwords, and I never use them unless there is something I need.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
It does seem that a lot of people worry more about cheating than working on their relationship. Or maybe they don't have a relationship because they are so worried about cheating.
The only control anyone has over cheating is to tend to the relationship.
I tend to believe that people who believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater", don't get this connection...for some reason.
I keep seeing post after post on here about what's considered cheating, suspicious, and what isn't etc etc. Looking at girls online, not putting up a facebook status, doing this, not doing that...
Doesn't it get exhausting keeping track of your mate's activities all the time? At some point you've gotta feel tired because you're not just dealing with your own life, you're trying to monitor your mate's life too, right?
Anyone who's in a relationship with another person is at risk for being betrayed by their partner. Anyone! People have been getting cheated on since before social media, phones, etc. If you're in a relationship, you're at risk! Why? Because you're not in control of your partner's actions.
So what's with all the people trying to safeguard all the time against cheating? Why not just trust your mate and go do some other fun activities with your life? Something to make you feel good about yourself.
What say you? What's your opinion?
It's ridiculous, liking a status is considered cheating these days. I think there's mistrust simply because of the amount of information available about that person; at one point in time you just had to trust that person when they said 'I'm going to work' but in a technologically advanced world, you have things such as 'Find My iPhone' that allows you to track your spouse and while your spouse may go to work, they may also stop a bar or a store without telling you and that's what makes everyone not trust each other.
Don't take C-D threads as representative of most people in committed relationships.
C-D threads referencing people suspected of cheating are most likely representative of only the part of the populations where cheating is more often than not a problem.
Those people in relationships where there is no cheating, or no worry about it, are not coming online to post daily about their cheating-free relationship or lack of concern.
That said, a lot of things may or may not be cheating, depending on what a couple believes infidelity to be and also the intent and motivations behind the actions.
The novel concept of letting people be people and life play out as it will. The sooner someone realizes that the only persons actions they can control is their own, the much happier their life will be.
I have my own definitions of cheating and whoever I am dating is welcome to cheat, if they want. I will have no hang-ups about moving on and finding someone else. I accept that people aren't meant to be lifelong monogamists and while I would appreciate being dumped before being cheated on (because that is my personal policy), I fully accept that everyone has the ability to slip.
maybe people should stop getting themselves mixed up with those they "have to" worry about...its crazy idea i know
If it were that easy, don't you think they would? What an absurd suggestion. People are sneaky and devious. When you get cheated on, it almost always catches you off guard. If predicting and spotting cheaters were that easy, cheating wouldn't be as wide spread because they would have less options or chances.
Relationships are less well defined and more subject to change than - apparently - in the past. People feel less secure, and when they do, they tend to make more rules in the belief that will get things under control. Actually, it makes things go out of control, because not only can't you enforce YOUR rules on others, those others resent the attempt to control. There probably is more cheating, but nothing is going to prevent it. Except, perhaps, an honestly loving and communicative relationship based on mutual trust and respect.
We are all free to do whatever we want. Only caring for each other will result in natural boundaries. Rules only tempt one to break them. Which is why I often argue against what are - to me - silly rules of behavior and expectations that are out of touch with reality.
I agree with Taoist, I don't make any rules regarding her social behavior - she's free to do what she wants. Why? She's a smart and sensible girl, and the rules she sets for herself are stricter than if I were to "set them".
I'm comfortable knowing that if she were to ever cheat on me, she wouldn't be the girl I knew and I wouldn't have a problem finding another wonderful girlfriend. And my girlfriend knows that too.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
