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Old 05-02-2013, 08:25 AM
 
142 posts, read 377,841 times
Reputation: 142

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Hey everyone, this is mainly just a rant 'n' b*tch session, because I'm feeling embarrassed about what happened to me last night...

So, I got together with my guy last night. It had been a week since our last date, and that past week has been hell for me at my job. I'll skip on details, but basically there have been a bunch of changes in my department, I'm taking on a ton more responsibility at work, trying to get promoted, etc. I've been stressed out, not sleeping well, and feeling sick because of it. When I'm stressed, I get terrible stomach issues... it's just how stress manifests in my system...

Anyhow, I'd been really looking forward to last night. I missed my guy, and the weather has been beautiful here this week, so it was a great night to go out. We started out just chilling out on his deck, drinking a couple beers and watching the sunset. (Sounds nice and romantic, right? Haha...) For the first time all week, I started to actually relax... then we started talking about work...

As I was talking about what's going on at my job, I started feeling sick. After about 20 minutes, I excused myself to use the bathroom, and while I was in there, I threw up... twice. Nothing was "wrong" with me, per se, I was just coming down off a super stressful week, and it manifested physically. I'd only had one beer, so it's not like I was even remotely "drunk." My guy came down to make sure I was okay, and I admitted what happened to me. He was totally cool about it, but I was humiliated...

I told him I needed a few minutes before we went anywhere, so he asked if we could watch the end of the Cubs game. That seemed fine with me, because I needed to just tune out and relax. Once the game ended, he mentioned that he was getting hungry, and I thought I was okay to go out. However, once I stood up, I felt sick again and had to run to the bathroom... and throw up, one more time! By then, I was shaking and trying not to cry because I was so horribly embarrassed. Once again, he was completely cool, but still... He asked if I wanted to just stay at his place and order in food, but I let him know I needed/wanted to go out.

We headed out, found a restaurant with a patio to eat, and once I sat down and had some food and fresh air, I was fine for the rest of the night. We had a good dinner, and talked about getting together this weekend for Cinco De Mayo. But the evening just seemed to fall flat... I had a hard time making conversation because I was so embarrassed, and he tried making me feel better, but didn't seem to know what to do... (Not that there's really anything he could've done anyhow.)

Today, I'm just feeling sad and disappointed... I feel like I ruined what was supposed to be a fun night because I'm so preoccupied with my job lately... I'm 99% sure everything is cool with my guy, but I can't shake the humiliation, just the same. I apologized several times last night, and feel guilty about it today. I'm tempted to send an "I'm sorry" text, but don't want to overkill on the apologies.

Guys, if you're reading this... Would you be totally weirded out and turned off if something like that happened to a woman while on a date? Keep in mind, I've been seeing this guy for 4 months, so we're pretty "established." I really don't think he'd dump me over it, but I'm still feeling awful about it... ugh...
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:28 AM
 
14,921 posts, read 18,647,419 times
Reputation: 11997
Awww you poor thing. *hugs* I guess all you can do is wait and see what he does. Hopefully he's understanding. Hang in there.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:28 AM
 
4,228 posts, read 6,483,120 times
Reputation: 5344
I threw up all over myself, the guy and his house on a first date once (alcohol induced) and he let it slide. You'll be fine.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Political hack governor state!
7,326 posts, read 4,940,857 times
Reputation: 4841
Quote:
Originally Posted by oakparkV View Post
Hey everyone, this is mainly just a rant 'n' b*tch session, because I'm feeling embarrassed about what happened to me last night...

So, I got together with my guy last night. It had been a week since our last date, and that past week has been hell for me at my job. I'll skip on details, but basically there have been a bunch of changes in my department, I'm taking on a ton more responsibility at work, trying to get promoted, etc. I've been stressed out, not sleeping well, and feeling sick because of it. When I'm stressed, I get terrible stomach issues... it's just how stress manifests in my system...

Anyhow, I'd been really looking forward to last night. I missed my guy, and the weather has been beautiful here this week, so it was a great night to go out. We started out just chilling out on his deck, drinking a couple beers and watching the sunset. (Sounds nice and romantic, right? Haha...) For the first time all week, I started to actually relax... then we started talking about work...

As I was talking about what's going on at my job, I started feeling sick. After about 20 minutes, I excused myself to use the bathroom, and while I was in there, I threw up... twice. Nothing was "wrong" with me, per se, I was just coming down off a super stressful week, and it manifested physically. I'd only had one beer, so it's not like I was even remotely "drunk." My guy came down to make sure I was okay, and I admitted what happened to me. He was totally cool about it, but I was humiliated...

I told him I needed a few minutes before we went anywhere, so he asked if we could watch the end of the Cubs game. That seemed fine with me, because I needed to just tune out and relax. Once the game ended, he mentioned that he was getting hungry, and I thought I was okay to go out. However, once I stood up, I felt sick again and had to run to the bathroom... and throw up, one more time! By then, I was shaking and trying not to cry because I was so horribly embarrassed. Once again, he was completely cool, but still... He asked if I wanted to just stay at his place and order in food, but I let him know I needed/wanted to go out.

We headed out, found a restaurant with a patio to eat, and once I sat down and had some food and fresh air, I was fine for the rest of the night. We had a good dinner, and talked about getting together this weekend for Cinco De Mayo. But the evening just seemed to fall flat... I had a hard time making conversation because I was so embarrassed, and he tried making me feel better, but didn't seem to know what to do... (Not that there's really anything he could've done anyhow.)

Today, I'm just feeling sad and disappointed... I feel like I ruined what was supposed to be a fun night because I'm so preoccupied with my job lately... I'm 99% sure everything is cool with my guy, but I can't shake the humiliation, just the same. I apologized several times last night, and feel guilty about it today. I'm tempted to send an "I'm sorry" text, but don't want to overkill on the apologies.

Guys, if you're reading this... Would you be totally weirded out and turned off if something like that happened to a woman while on a date? Keep in mind, I've been seeing this guy for 4 months, so we're pretty "established." I really don't think he'd dump me over it, but I'm still feeling awful about it... ugh...
With me NO unless this became a "habit", but then again I would help that person get to a doctor to see what's going on. At least some of us older men (can't speak for the younger ones) understand that happens and you are human.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:37 AM
 
192 posts, read 338,996 times
Reputation: 396
haha, that's pretty ****ed up..

but ehm... to keep it a 100% real... guys don't really care that much

I once had a girl perform fellatio on me.... she then got sick cuz she was drunk... threw up.. and I asked her afterworths to continue... so yah, no worries
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:41 AM
 
14,251 posts, read 15,085,443 times
Reputation: 42297
What happened is not a problem. However, your out-of-control anxiety IS a problem and could tank your relationship in the long run. Go to your doctor and ask for medication. See a therapist. Take up meditation. And start looking for a new job, because NOTHING is worth that kind of stress.

I've been where you are, and I have nothing but empathy for you. But while your boyfriend will let the events of the other night slide, this overall trend is not something you can just ignore.

I was working in a support role at a leading (and now defunct!) investment bank, and I remember one of the managers laughing at my stressed-out reaction. Her way of coping? "Let's face it - if we screw up, no one dies."
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
9,637 posts, read 7,050,761 times
Reputation: 46995
Quote:
He was totally cool about it
Bottom line. He appears to me to be a good guy.

Don't worry about this breaking up anything or him refusing to see you anymore. I wouldn't bring it up again except maybe with a brief mention when you next see him.

To answer your question it would be no problem with me but I am an easy going good guy. It appears this man you are dating is too.

Adding - as others said stress like this is not good. Consider the helpful suggestions.
Best wishes.

Last edited by John13; 05-02-2013 at 08:56 AM..
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:51 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,130 posts, read 8,899,333 times
Reputation: 11714
Stress ruins my stomach too, so you're not the only one. Everyone gets sick sometimes. If he's weirded out by it then he's a total jerk. Not like you could help it. But, I do feel concerned for you that you're so stressed out at work it's making you physically sick. That's not good at all.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:52 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
1,512 posts, read 2,705,644 times
Reputation: 2219
Since you've been seeing each other for ~4 months, I doubt he'll drop you over this. You're embarrassed, and that's understandable. However, his actions that night seem to point to the fact that he's a good guy and will not hold it against you. My guess is that y'all will be joking about it some day...

That said, anxiety over work is normal. But getting yourself to the point where you get physically ill is not a good thing, IMHO. A job is a job, nothing more. I've been in your shoes, and I'll tell you that sacrificing so much of yourself for a job only hurts yourself. Yes, you may get a promotion out of the deal, but that will only add more stress to your life--and the cycle will continue. You need to decide whether you work to live or live to work. (Not trying to be overly blunt, but I know from experience how a job can have a very negative impact on your life...)

--Dim
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Old 05-02-2013, 10:27 AM
 
1,066 posts, read 1,174,510 times
Reputation: 726
I've been dating for 20 some years.

Of course women I've dated have gotten sick. Of course I've gotten sick.

People get sick.

Might be a little embarrassing but it's not a big deal.
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