U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
 
Old 05-04-2013, 02:26 AM
 
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
4,964 posts, read 3,267,477 times
Reputation: 3067
Default Reasons why married people cheat?

Why do you think so many married people cheat? I ve come across many married people that have stated they have cheated on ther husbands/wives, and have said it with no guilt. Particullary men (but women can be doing it equally, i dont know), they dont seem to show any signs of guilt and act like its natural. Why is this? Why do people get married in the first place if they are gonna be cheating on their spouses? Do you think this happens cause monogamy seems difficult to sustain in this society or not? Do you think being faithful is the norm, or is the norm being a cheater? Be honest.


I was in a very long very commited relationship with someone i LOVE (still, yeah) a lot, with all my heart. Never in 7 years i even thought of other men while with him, and wouldnt have ever cheat on him if i would have been with him all my life. I dont think you need to be married to be faithful, i think that if you are with the right person, then the thought of cheating never actually crosses your mind. But it seems to cross the mind of many people that are married or in LTR, and i would like to understand their thought proccess.

Married or in a LTR people that have cheated and could share their experiences would be a plus
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-04-2013, 03:09 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
582 posts, read 346,137 times
Reputation: 540
There are a number of different reasons people cheat. Some cheat for an ego boost. Others cheat because they feel lonely in the relationship (their SO's aren't giving them the right attention). Some because they are bored and want the excitement of a new relationship. Then there are the ones who are "alpha males". They slept with this many women so they are much more superior and desirable than others. Another reason could be that they were pressured into it through the advances of the opposite sex. they could be weak and not be able to say no. For still others it's just sex.

Men produce a large amount of generative fluid (if you know what I mean) and they have the inborn instinct to mate with as many females as possible so that their genetic material can be successfully passed on to the next generation.

Here is an article about the subject.Why Do Men Cheat? 9 Reasons Why Men Cheat | Lifescript.com

If you do a Google search you can find hundreds of thousands of articles and ads for books about this subject.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 03:13 AM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
5,264 posts, read 6,381,701 times
Reputation: 6117
Well, I was going to say most people cheat because there is something missing from their relationship and instead of fixing it, they go looking for it with another person. But those people do tend to feel some guilt and so they try to justify their actions with excuses. People who make no excuses for it and don't see anything wrong with it are just self-absorbed, insensitive jerks, possibly even sociopaths incapable of feeling empathy and understanding the hurt they cause. Some men may do it and not care because it boosts their ego - the old "player" stereotype.

FTR, I don't cheat, this is just my take on it based on observation.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 05:24 AM
 
999 posts, read 454,531 times
Reputation: 756
I think nobody "cheats" any more. They simply take an opportunity because they can and because they want. By the way, I know so many people who claim they are monogamous but they aren't. That's not the problem per se, the main problem is that their mindset was not set up for monogamy, it never was, society doesn't support such notion anymore and overwhelming majority of population is outright promiscuous in both their behavior and their mindset.
But just because society still considers monogamy as a good thing and everything else is devious and outright evil - they invent various names to expand monogamy definition to explain even an outright promiscuity as a monogamy.

That being said, false studies, rigged "findings" in the past and in the present are also contributing to motivate people to either join the crew that outright cheats simply to see how it's like, because "everyone else is doing it". But the thing is that they generally have the influence upon couples where one of both spouses have promiscuous mindset or promiscuous past.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 05:46 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,433 posts, read 3,737,001 times
Reputation: 6880
You don't need a reason to cheat, only desire and opportunity. You need a reason to NOT cheat that's stronger.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
10,304 posts, read 7,767,364 times
Reputation: 3436
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude View Post
You don't need a reason to cheat, only desire and opportunity. You need a reason to NOT cheat that's stronger.
^^^this^^^
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Lubbock, Tx
4,864 posts, read 1,735,423 times
Reputation: 5940
Its really quite simple. People are evil. They do all kinds of terrible things for completely selfish reasons. They think it is fun to cheat, so they do. Do they really care about their spouse? They married them for selfish reasons, and now they are cheating for selfish reasons. When the ultimate goal is "my happiness", people are capable of just about anything.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 06:59 AM
 
3,951 posts, read 2,014,488 times
Reputation: 4182
IMO, there not physically attracted to their partner anymore so they go get sex from outside of the relationship. The difference between not being married and being married is you can just get up and leave anytime you want. There's nothing legally binding you together, you probably don't own a home together, and chances are you don't have kids together. Marriage you're kindoff stuck, so many people instead of going through the process of divorce choose to be unfaithful and just try to hide it
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Democratic Peoples Republic of Redneckistan
10,304 posts, read 7,767,364 times
Reputation: 3436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson View Post
Its really quite simple. People are evil. They do all kinds of terrible things for completely selfish reasons. They think it is fun to cheat, so they do. Do they really care about their spouse? They married them for selfish reasons, and now they are cheating for selfish reasons. When the ultimate goal is "my happiness", people are capable of just about anything.
+1..I think you hit the nail on the head...people ARE evil now and do not give two ****s about someone elses feelings or well being...pretty disgusting really.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2013, 07:41 AM
 
1,891 posts, read 849,312 times
Reputation: 2581
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL View Post
I was in a very long very commited relationship with someone i LOVE (still, yeah) a lot, with all my heart. Never in 7 years i even thought of other men while with him, and wouldnt have ever cheat on him if i would have been with him all my life. I dont think you need to be married to be faithful, i think that if you are with the right person, then the thought of cheating never actually crosses your mind. But it seems to cross the mind of many people that are married or in LTR, and i would like to understand their thought proccess.

Married or in a LTR people that have cheated and could share their experiences would be a plus
I know exactly how you feel. Join the club.

What I don't understand is the fact that both people have invested those years and emotions, yet the person who is unhappy/frustrated/bored/whatever won't discuss the issue, won't try to make it better, won't put forth any effort. They just simply throw it all away. That tells me that it wasn't worth much to them to begin with.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top