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Still disturbed OP refers to her boyfriend by the name that a few people made up for him on a public online forum. That strikes me as strange and a little removed from reality.
A man has to work and pay the bills and if he works in the hospitality industry, it's just part of the job that he will have to move around personal plans to get work done. Any grown woman would be understanding of this unless it was happening 4/7 days a week.
Still disturbed OP refers to her boyfriend by the name that a few people made up for him on a public online forum. That strikes me as strange and a little removed from reality.
A man has to work and pay the bills and if he works in the hospitality industry, it's just part of the job that he will have to move around personal plans to get work done. Any grown woman would be understanding of this unless it was happening 4/7 days a week.
THAT'S what strikes you about the OP being removed from reality?!
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As everyone knows I don't date divorced men and this is no hidden thing. I am pretty blunt on this. Anyway I remember an incident that happened a few months ago and it's been bothering me.
During the whole "does Taco Man like me" I met another guy. He seemed like a nice guy except two major deal breakers with me: he wasn't Catholic, nor was he never married. In fact he was divorced from a long time ago and never remarried. He is 45 and was married from 21-30, no kids. He's also not Catholic either, he's really no religion and is sometime atheist. The religious aspect aside, I immediately rejected him because he was divorced. Once I found out he wasn't religious and really had no interest in marrying in a church I knew he wasn't the one either. However when finding he was divorced I immediately realized that to me all divorced men are no no's because of the fact I will never be the first wife. I never realized how much this bothers me.
He found a woman and he treats her amazing. He spends money on her and time. I'm happy for him and hope he is successful but knew being 2 would not work.
I think I am thinking things today because I am mad at Taco Man. He owns a business and we were supposed to go out today but he had to open his business today for a big account.
When you mature more than you have aged chronologically you may just start to change some of your one sided views of how real life is, but maybe you won't.
Real life is very different from anything you will ever imagine sitting at your computer in your house dreaming of the day when you and taco man will be married, except he will be gone tending to his business and you will still be sitting at your computer in your house married and still alone.
The rate you are going I don't think you'll ever be a first, second or third wife really. Taco man will catch onto you sooner or later and then "bye bye" for IDDY.
So how long does a big pet supply account meeting last? Shouldn't be too much of an interference on a Sunday.
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Look, it's your choice who to date and who not to date. But, out of curiosity, what is it specifically that bothers you about being a second wife?
I've had to think about that myself (long story, and I am not going to hijack your thread with it). I don't know anyone who likes to come in second. But - people aren't made to order, and the older you get, the higher the chances that someone you're interested in has been married before. Sometimes people go into a situation with the best of intentions, but things don't work out. Sometimes one person wants the marriage to work, and the other one doesn't. Sometimes people misrepresent themselves until after the ring goes on their finger. Sometimes people make really stupid choices and don't have the fortune to have something intervene before the wedding. My point is, that people make mistakes, and that second wife doesn't mean second best.
Again, you don't owe anyone a relationship, and you have every right to your standards. But sometimes, it helps to reframe the situation. If you're concerned about people treating you differently because you weren't the "first", whether they are being mean-spirited or just thoughtless, that's on them. Also, keep in mind that we don't live in a polygamous society. She would be the past, and you would be the present and future. And, just because I am an insufferable smart@ss, I have to say that the Indians were first - look how that turned out.
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My husband struck out twice before he hit a grand slam with me....(it is baseball season)...
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