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I'm not a fan of getting involved in someone else's personal life but this situation really sucks. How would any of you feel if a good friend of yours was having an affair with someone married with kids?
I can only hope the married man's wife doesn't find out.
I'd feel really shocked and disappointed in my friend. I don't think I'd abandon her, but I wouldn't condone what she's doing or encourage her whenever she brings him up. If she asks my opinion of it, I would def give it to her straight.
One of my friends had an affair. She kept it from me and our other friends. We found out after it ended because the wife found text messages - and actually attacked her from behind. My friend was really ashamed but I was there for her. A year later, she called me and said she ran into the 21 yo daughter, who threw soda in her face in a restaurant parking lot. I don't think my friend deserved to be treated that way after all the time had passed. I keep telling her that she needs to forgive herself because it was in the past and she learned from it.
Life doesn't last forever, and love doesn't always obey societal strictures. Better to take it where you find it than let it pass you by.
And because love IS what it is and you should take it where you can get it, does that excuse ANY behavior along the way? Does taking vows mean nothing because you love that married person? OK, so the single person didn't take vows but she's still cheating.
And I get what you're saying that some things have come and gone in the way of how society thinks... some "bad" things of yesteryear are common place today in a variety of ways. However, one thing has always been true and I can pretty much (accurately) guess that if you were to ask ANYONE you know if it's ok to cheat on someone, or have an affair, they would say it's wrong. And while you may or may not believe in God, He says it's wrong, and basically everything we've ever been told (3rd party perspective) says it's wrong...so while it may also be my opinion, I'm pretty sure the guy's wife would think it's wrong...on and on...
My point was that on nearly everything your friend could do, I would advise "mind your own business", but here, in this particular case, I would not butt out. I would really try to let her know how it could be a real destructive path...that doesn't just affect her. I know you see my point...
Sometimes good people do seemingly bad things. I'm not yet (and doubt I will ever be) convinced that cheating is always wrong. So, I wouldn't jump to vilify everyone in these situations. l'd be concerned. I might initiate a discussion about it. But it is, ultimately, her decision and her consequences to pay if it goes south. If she was a regular home-wrecker, for sport, I probably wouldn't be friends with her to begin with.
Last edited by PassTheChocolate; 05-07-2013 at 09:02 AM..
And I get what you're saying that some things have come and gone in the way of how society thinks... some "bad" things of yesteryear are common place today in a variety of ways. However, one thing has always been true and I can pretty much (accurately) guess that if you were to ask ANYONE you know if it's ok to cheat on someone, or have an affair, they would say it's wrong.
That attitude is overwhelmingly accepted in the U.S. (like the belief that God exists), but not as much elsewhere. In a 2009 Gallup poll, 24% of Germans and 46% of the French said that it was, in general, "morally acceptable" for a married person to have an affair, compared to only 6% of Americans.
And while you may or may not believe in God, He says
So you're saying that whether or not I believe in God, you know that there is a God?? Pretty arrogant on your part (I don't believe in God, by the way).
So you're saying that whether or not I believe in God, you know that there is a God?? Pretty arrogant on your part (I don't believe in God, by the way).
OK, so basically you think cheating is ok and to mind your own business.
Most Germans and French think it's ok...as you do?
You're right though...I did presume you were in America...when I referred to my own belief, that's all it was...my opinion and belief. Not the time or place to discuss what you or I believe...I just wanted to point out that most people I've run across, believe that cheating is immoral.
Is it in all situations? Yea, I really think so. I think if the situation is so bad, you should get out of the situation and then pursue what you want. That's just how I think...I've been effected by people who didn't give a whip whose lives they ruined...it didn't have a great effect on me because they were too selfish to see what kind of damage they were doing.
Trust me on this one...I'm not arrogant...I just wanted to point out that those who believe in God, generally think, that breaking a commandment is wrong. If you don't believe, as you said, then you have your own set of rules. Clearly, I thought most people (whatever they believe) thought to cheat was wrong. This is really the thing that I can't abide by...I'm pretty lax on other issues...even your disbelief...I completely accept you as you are and leave you to your business...but when it comes to cheating, I find it to be dispicable and worthy of butting in...until it does no good and I walk away from the friendship.
But again...you have said now a few times, you think cheating is ok...that's sad to me.
I'm not a fan of getting involved in someone else's personal life but this situation really sucks. How would any of you feel if a good friend of yours was having an affair with someone married with kids?
I can only hope the married man's wife doesn't find out.
1. Mind you own business
2. Buy a bag of popcorn and sit tight when the s*!@#@# hits the fan
Is it in all situations? Yea, I really think so. I think if the situation is so bad, you should get out of the situation and then pursue what you want. That's just how I think...I've been effected by people who didn't give a whip whose lives they ruined...it didn't have a great effect on me because they were too selfish to see what kind of damage they were doing.
And getting out of the situation first doesn't hurt people and ruin lives?
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- and actually attacked her from behind. My friend was really ashamed but I was there for her. A year later, she called me and said she ran into the 21 yo daughter, who threw soda in her face in a restaurant parking lot. I don't think my friend deserved to be treated that way after all the time had passed. I keep telling her that she needs to forgive herself because it was in the past and she learned from it.
