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Does anyone here get annoyed when they hear that phrase from a person, typically one who hasn't had good luck in dating. You would expect it would come from someone ugly, but I almost never hear it from one. Its either overweight people or mostly people with huge personality flaws. Why should people have to accept the fact that you are out of shape or that you have an abrasive personality. Most of the time when I hear this phrase it comes from people hard to deal with like type A personalities who don't know how to turn it off. I think its bad advice to give to tell it to someone because you should be the best person for your partner and if you have a bad personality, your partner shouldn't "accept" it.
This statement is meant to convey that people are flawed and we have to accept that; it's a matter of individuality. But I agree, it is often abused by people who have serious issues and lack self awareness.
Reminds me of a guy I dated in my other life. A friend of mine passed away and this guy had only met him once, for maybe an hour. I didn't ask him to come with me to the funeral (we had been dating for about a month). He invited himself (and made my friend's death all about him and HIS loss, but that's for another thread, someday). He got dressed for the funeral in jeans, a country shirt, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. I asked him if he had a suit. He looked at me, appalled, and said "I'm a redneck. Whoever doesn't like the way I dress can kiss my *ss." I told him his redneck self and his *ss can stay home. A perfect case of "accept me for who I am" not happening. Kinda like "Be yourself." Some people are really better off being someone else.
Never understood why why people fill the need to box people in to cretain traits because of their gender as if they have to have this trait or theyre not a real man whatever that means..
Does anyone here get annoyed when they hear that phrase from a person, typically one who hasn't had good luck in dating. You would expect it would come from someone ugly, but I almost never hear it from one. Its either overweight people or mostly people with huge personality flaws. Why should people have to accept the fact that you are out of shape or that you have an abrasive personality. Most of the time when I hear this phrase it comes from people hard to deal with like type A personalities who don't know how to turn it off. I think its bad advice to give to tell it to someone because you should be the best person for your partner and if you have a bad personality, your partner shouldn't "accept" it.
RUN THE OTHER WAY! You might be their next victim.
I wouldn't call it unreasonable. It is no more and no less 'reasonable' than any other preference (build, weight, nationality, etc). Is the preference silly and superficial? Maybe. Will it cut off a very large number of available men? Very much so.
Assuming that your lady friend is looking for someone between the ages of 20-40, she is effectively cutting off ~94% of eligible men (http://www.census.gov/compendia/stat...es/12s0209.pdf ). Even if she is a total package, she will have to make a serious effort to find these guys.
I am not questioning her RIGHT to have this so-called "preference" (a word that often used to disguise what is actually better described as "prejudice," but never mind that). I am questioning her REASONS. Giving so much weight to a relatively trivial issue like height--and setting the bar so so, high you'll pardon the pun--may cause her to miss out on meeting a great man. Yes, that is her right. But I have to scratch my head at her reasoning.
Does anyone here get annoyed when they hear that phrase from a person, typically one who hasn't had good luck in dating. You would expect it would come from someone ugly, but I almost never hear it from one. Its either overweight people or mostly people with huge personality flaws. Why should people have to accept the fact that you are out of shape or that you have an abrasive personality. Most of the time when I hear this phrase it comes from people hard to deal with like type A personalities who don't know how to turn it off. I think its bad advice to give to tell it to someone because you should be the best person for your partner and if you have a bad personality, your partner shouldn't "accept" it.
So if someone told you you needed to change yourself because you're not buff enough or don't have a huge enough wallet, you should strive to be your best in all possible ways to earn their affections?
Being the best person you can be stems from motivation for oneself from within, not some external validation sequence that could easily change.
While I agree with a difficult personality being tough to deal with and certain behaviors unacceptable or intolerable, I also think those who do not accept themselves and mold themselves to fit others don't really know what love is. They therefore, then, are one of the most difficult personalities to deal with since they either become very co-dependent, narcissistic, and/or psychologically unstable.
Being the best person you can be stems from motivation for oneself from within, not some external validation sequence that could easily change.
This. What makes another person so special that you would bend over backwards to please them? Self improvement done for self is genuine because it comes from the innate desire to want a better quality of life.
Just think of it this way, there are drug addicts, alcoholics, convicts and homeless people who are able to find partners. For every heterosexually screwed up individual there's someone out there of the opposite sex who is equally screwed up.
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