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I know this will vary from person to person, but what do you think must happen in every relationship before it goes to the next level and becomes an engagement? My thoughts:
1. Date for at least a year and a half, bare minimum. Preferably at least 2 years.
2. See each other at your best and worst. Work through arguments.
3. Make sure you are sexually compatable, unless you are deeply religious and waiting till marriage.
4. I'm on the fence about living together. On one hand, it's good as another step for testing out compatability, on the other hand, once you get married, nothing really changes if you live together already.
5. Meet each other's families (duh).
I have a rule of thumb for myself that I don't really have any idea who a person is until I have known them for a year.
Financial compatibility is also very important to me. I am not talking about amount of money, but about how we handle money. Do we have similar ideas about what is good to spend on and what is a waste? Is my partner good at thinking longterm, financially, knowledgeable about investments, etc.?
Of course I need to see what they are like after the honeymoon period is over.
Seriously though, Mariage can be fixed very easily with a divorce. I think people need to think harder when deciding to have children with another person because they basically become part of your family.
So many idiots out there make a big deal about commitment and yet they are out there having sex without birth control.
All these are good and I will add one, which may or may not be possible...
Deal with each other during illness, maybe just the damn flu or something but its a red flag IMO if the other person acts angry, annoyed, horrified, put out, or any combo of those when you get sick and need soup, Advil, or just look a hot mess.
This is pretty far before engagement, but I need to see what someone is like when they are angry before I feel like I know them very well, or feel settled into a relationship.
Yep. Although I'm thinking that's a main thing you need.
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