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Old 05-12-2013, 02:42 AM
 
322 posts, read 395,420 times
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I was telling my ex wife about this lecture

The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow - YouTube

A study was done to quantify the effects of internet porn on young men. It wasn't possible to find a control group because 100% of the men surveyed use internet porn - no one isn't using it!

When I told the ex that this is leading to a form of erectile dysfunction in young men due to desensitization, her response was one of utter disgust and she said that it serves them right... and they should go blind too. This wasn't a joke. It was genuinely hostile.

Is it any wonder I divorced the *****? While the bonanza of internet novelty is a problem, this is clearly a completely normal drive in men. Yet her response is to despise men for who and what we are.

The ex is a lost cause. But I wonder, are women finally outgrowing this naïve view of men - that our basic impulses are disgusting? It is my perception that younger women are generally more accepting of pornography. More and more women admit to using porn themselves. But I don't know if there have always been women who are comfortable with sexuality and would have always been okay with porn, or if the views of women are indeed generally changing across the board.

The fact is that before the internet was Playboy and Penthouse, and before that were adult books, and before that was the bra and panty section of the JC Penny's catalogue. The only thing that has really changed is the degree of access, and the range of novelty available.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:41 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
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I think you're looking at it a bit wrong... I've noticed that men are MUCH pickier about women (especially their looks) and from talking to a few of my girlfriends, they expect 'porn star' quality sex even if the woman isn't comfortable with certain aspects of it.

I don't think it's because women are trying to control men's orgasm or anything ridiculous like that, it's just that more and more are choosing internet porn over a real, live woman because in porn you get airbrushed perfection, fake moaning and women who are willing to do basically anything. Why would you choose an actual woman who may have opinions or even preferences when you can use porn?

For example, my ex. He was really into porn and constantly compared my body and what I was doing with him in bed to the porn he'd seen. He thought of it as 'constructive criticism' but I really didn't see how telling me he thought my boobs were disgusting because they didn't stick straight up like *insert porn stars name here* when I was lying on my back.

So yeah, I do think younger men are being desensitized to actual flesh and blood women and it may be more difficult for them to be sexually aroused to the 'flaws' we all carry around when compared to surgically enhanced women who are basically doing whatever the guys tell them too. I'm sure it's difficult to give up that sense of control for them.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:51 AM
 
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Bah!


I was honest with my GF (Porn is for when she's not around/I'm not around her)
And other than giving me S**t (Teasing) one time when there was some on a screen of my computer when I was closing old windows... there's no issues.

Oh, and there's MANY types of porn... some plastic, some not.

Can a guy (Or girl) be addicted?
Sure.

Is it like women like to claim?
Nope.
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:53 AM
 
332 posts, read 389,960 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I think you're looking at it a bit wrong... I've noticed that men are MUCH pickier about women (especially their looks) and from talking to a few of my girlfriends, they expect 'porn star' quality sex even if the woman isn't comfortable with certain aspects of it.

I don't think it's because women are trying to control men's orgasm or anything ridiculous like that, it's just that more and more are choosing internet porn over a real, live woman because in porn you get airbrushed perfection, fake moaning and women who are willing to do basically anything. Why would you choose an actual woman who may have opinions or even preferences when you can use porn?

For example, my ex. He was really into porn and constantly compared my body and what I was doing with him in bed to the porn he'd seen. He thought of it as 'constructive criticism' but I really didn't see how telling me he thought my boobs were disgusting because they didn't stick straight up like *insert porn stars name here* when I was lying on my back.

So yeah, I do think younger men are being desensitized to actual flesh and blood women and it may be more difficult for them to be sexually aroused to the 'flaws' we all carry around when compared to surgically enhanced women who are basically doing whatever the guys tell them too. I'm sure it's difficult to give up that sense of control for them.

Wouldn't this just make them sexually independent men who don't need a woman for anything?
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:56 AM
 
322 posts, read 395,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I think you're looking at it a bit wrong... I've noticed that men are MUCH pickier about women (especially their looks) and from talking to a few of my girlfriends, they expect 'porn star' quality sex even if the woman isn't comfortable with certain aspects of it.
It should be noted that a majority of women find a majority of men to be below average in looks, which is a statistical impossibility. So at the least it works both ways.

How this might influence men's view of women is one thing. The point was, are woman able to accept that men are naturally driven to look at porn. Are women learning to accept our basic nature, or are we expected to be something that we're not.

Was your problem with your mate really his view of you, or your view of him? Be honest? Did his viewing of porn bother you in addition to how it affected his view of you?
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:57 AM
 
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Isn't that what the porn is anyways? Showing how we see sex (or how the porn actors wants to emulate our fantasy).

I.e. A guy with a really long "friend", i-don't-care attitude, without any problems such as premature ejaculations or "can't get it up" is an avatar of who the viewer wants to be. This is why it's crucial to cut out his head.
This is also why passionate sex is exclusively lesbian sex - you either have double joy or you imagine yourself in the place of one of those women, successfully making the other woman to orgasm.

A woman is always willing, you're also so great that you can be pool boy or pizza delivery boy and she is a hot model, married to a rich guy, having a huge estate (and yes, she'll get an orgasm when she just sees your package, then she'll get on her knees when SHE undresses you... and initiate the whole deal). She'll be either as equally or even more aggressive to test all positions and to take charge, often switching during sex, to change power dynamics. A minute before you were in control, then she gets on top and takes charge, then you take control agan, then she takes control, etc. *You're still the one dominating the whole intercourse because she moans in orgasms while you're so cool that you can go on in joy - "you're doing it right" and she's going to be addicted to your super skills*

This thing goes on for so long until she gets exhausted but you're so great that you can go on for a whole day without uttering a single word - thus you need to orgasm yourself in the end, usually over her face, to prove your skills (and she'll like it too). During this whole time she'll be having orgasms the whole time, of course. Then you walk out back to your work, delivering pizza.


I've read about this in the newspapers and their research on old description of mainstream porn in the 90s, done by various psychologists. Interesting thing was that the research they cited was paid by the PORN INDUSTRY, for the sole purpose of making porn "female-friendly" and they also made interesting notions how to make it more "female-friendly" to have - make actors either fake orgasm much better or have the sounds altered and synced with the video, add much more passion, make the guy moan as well, make less violent scenes and add more kissing, blah blah, and do all that while not alienating the guys who want to watch it, so that they can watch it with their girlfriends/wives/solo at the same time. The result of it was the notion that more and more couples were seeking for amateur porn instead of mainstream porn when they wanted to show the "more realistic porn" to married couples, so the answer was the huge "home-video" industry (done by professional actors, of course). General conclusion was that the focus on "female-friendly" porn is the future because guys are much more tolerant and the key to get more audience and marketplace's control is to cater to female population in the future.
One might say that women are much more porn-friendly than the previous generations of women, but the industry might claim that it's actually due to their successful psychological strategy and profiling.

Last edited by nald; 05-12-2013 at 04:09 AM.. Reason: n/a
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:58 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyle43 View Post
Wouldn't this just make them sexually independent men who don't need a woman for anything?
And that's perfectly fine! Good for them!

But if they decided to be with a woman and then realize they can't be sexually aroused because she doesn't look like a porn star there might be problems for him. The exact same thing goes for women.

I mean hell, I watch porn and quite enjoy it but still MUCH prefer a man, perceived flaws and all, over porn. I also have zero doubts there are many men out there like that as well.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:03 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RunWild View Post
It should be noted that a majority of women find a majority of men to be below average in looks, which is a statistical impossibility. So at the least it works both ways.

How this might influence men's view of women is one thing. The point was, are woman able to accept that men are naturally driven to look at porn. Are women learning to accept our basic nature, or are we expected to be something that we're not.

Was your problem with your mate really his view of you, or your view of him? Be honest? Did his viewing of porn bother you in addition to how it affected his view of you?
I completely get that all men look at porn, that doesn't bother me at all. Men are EXTREMELY visual, much moreso than women, which is why I think many women don't understand nudie mags and porn.

Nope, I've yet to meet a single guy that didn't look at porn and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I watch porn here and there as well, and think it can be fun watching it with a partner. The problem came when he started suggesting plastic surgery and putting me down because I didn't look like those women. There were also certain sex acts that we tried and I didn't feel comfortable with or didn't like and he made me feel terrible about it because apparently it was 'my job' to make him happy and my happiness and pleasure didn't factor into that at all.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:09 AM
 
322 posts, read 395,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I completely get that all men look at porn, that doesn't bother me at all. Men are EXTREMELY visual, much moreso than women, which is why I think many women don't understand nudie mags and porn.

Nope, I've yet to meet a single guy that didn't look at porn and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I watch porn here and there as well, and think it can be fun watching it with a partner. The problem came when he started suggesting plastic surgery and putting me down because I didn't look like those women. There were also certain sex acts that we tried and I didn't feel comfortable with or didn't like and he made me feel terrible about it because apparently it was 'my job' to make him happy and my happiness and pleasure didn't factor into that at all.
Do you think your view is typical of most women's feelings. And could you give me some idea of your age?

I'm sorry your man was so judgmental and unreasonable. FWIW, I can't even imagine doing such a thing.
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Old 05-12-2013, 04:09 AM
 
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I watch porn on occasion and unless it's a literal "porn star," the majority that I find consists of women who are NOT porn-star quality in looks.

Neither are the men, but that goes without saying.

My DH likes the "amateur" variety of porn better...I think what men can become desensitized to is the formulaic "classic porn star" stuff. JMO.
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