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the fact its only 7 months in and this girl is already having ideas of her BF screwing other people for personal pleasure. if i was the guy i would be wondering what type of relationship i as really in with this person and where it was headed from here on out.
BINGO !!! Nothing more has to be said. This case is closed......
what's probably going on with her is that she wants
to have sex with other men.
after you have sex with another woman, she'll say
it's her turn to have sex with another man.
what's probably going on with her is that she wants
to have sex with other men.
after you have sex with another woman, she'll say
it's her turn to have sex with another man.
Horse poo. When a girl wants to have sex with other men, they just cheat. In my experience, no one (man or woman) that doesn't enjoy their partner having sex with another can turn off their jealousy and allow it simply so they can have their own fun.
These are not the lifestyles we are comparing and you know it.
Except that it is. At least it is if you try to stay on the topic of the thread as the rules of the forum demand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
The point of monogamy is that you get in a committed relationship with one person and stay in it.
To you maybe. But different people want different things from their relationships. Having sex with other people in your relationship does not mean you are any less committed to your partner. It all depends on the parameters of the relationship that the people IN the relationship set. Not all relationships have to be "monogamous".
The OP therefore does not need a preachment of monogamy from you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Do you equate stealing with being a thief?
Not sure what theft has to do with a thread about sexual experimentation but I will not be following you on your attempt to derail.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Some people have different standards for the purpose of their own lives
Exactly! Now you make my point for me, thanks.
And many of us as I said seek "thrills" of different kinds (sexual, intellectual, adrenaline, etc etc etc) for nothing but their own ends. And we evaluate and take risks while doing so. Taking risks is not synonymous with "having issues" as you are trying to put it. So your entire point here dies, fails and is useless.
If you want to define it otherwise in your own head - fine - I have no interest in controlling your mind. I will however point out this is a nonsense and useless definition and you have made the definition so dilute as to suggest just about everyone on the planet has "issues".
Research indicates that anywhere from about 9% to 11% of women have ever participated in threesomes.
This is a small minority of women in general.
Depends how you define "small". I find 10% to be very significant. If for example I were to press a button and murder 10% of all women everywhere you would not be sitting there excusing it as a small minority. It would be a MASSIVE number.
Have you any idea just how many women are on the planet and just how big a number 10% actually is? It is a massive number.
So well done in burying your own nonsense claim in the dirt for me.
And this does not even remotely address the rest of your nonsense that any 22 year old who wants to explore this fantasy must have "issues" like childhood abuse or mental illnesses requiring medication.
what's probably going on with her is that she wants to have sex with other men.
"Probably". But I see nothing in the OPs posts to suggest any such thing. There is no more evidence here to suggest this "probably" than there is to say she "probably" wants to murder him in his sleep the day after he has sex with this other girl.
Throwing around baseless "probably" statements like this will likely do no more than derail the thread from the actual topic.
Except that it is. At least it is if you try to stay on the topic of the thread as the rules of the forum demand.
How is championing monogamy as the better alternative not relevant to the topic?
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
To you maybe. But different people want different things from their relationships. Having sex with other people in your relationship does not mean you are any less committed to your partner. It all depends on the parameters of the relationship that the people IN the relationship set. Not all relationships have to be "monogamous".
Never said they did have to be, nor that an "open" or polygamous relationship couldn't also involve commitment, and why exactly are you putting "monogamous" in quotation marks?
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
The OP therefore does not need a preachment of monogamy from you.
In another thread, you just told me not to dictate your conversations with other posters. I'll ask that you kindly do the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Not sure what theft has to do with a thread about sexual experimentation but I will not be following you on your attempt to derail.
Disingenuous, once more. The point was that claiming someone does have "issues" and explaining why you would come to this conclusion in your own life for the purpose of saving precious time (i.e., not getting/staying involved with such a person long enough to confirm "issues" or no) are two different things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
Taking risks is not synonymous with "having issues" as you are trying to put it. So your entire point here dies, fails and is useless.
I already said in my last reply to you that was not my argument. I elaborated on just what my argument was, and why.
How is championing monogamy as the better alternative not relevant to the topic?
Because the OP is asking about a non monogamous scenario. The OP wants advice on this scenario - not people preaching at him about monogamy. However this discussion is not about monogamy. It is about the crass and baseless claims this girl must have "issues". There is no reason to think she does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Disingenuous, once more.
Nice of you to pre-label the contents of your own paragraph. It would be nice if you would stop being disingenuous however. The fact is there is no reason to think this OPs girlfriend has any "issues". She is merely having and exploring a sexual fantasy - as many people do every day. The only way you seem to be able to declare she has "issues" is to dilute the definition of "issues" beyond all usefullness to the point there are hardly any of us who do not have "issues".
The OP did not just ask for advice, but what we thought in general about the idea. It's in the quote below.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
The fact is there is no reason to think this OPs girlfriend has any "issues".
Oh, there's even more reason to think she has issues, than the general population of people willing to do this sort of thing. Perhaps you have a habit of putting everyone who shares an interest similar to your own lifestyle in one group and that's that. But you ignored what I consider key information in the OP itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycruben87
...This actually suprises me that she's asking me for this, especially since she's the jealous type... I'm still concerned that if I fulfilll her fantasy she'll be heartbroken, betrayed, jealous, etc. and cause major problems with our relationship... I don't have a problem doing this, the problem could be potentially from her part, especially since she's sort of a jealous girl. Any advice on this? What do ya think about this?
Oh please try and read the thread before you enter it in future:
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycruben87
Any advice on this? What do ya think about this?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
Perhaps you have a habit of putting everyone who shares an interest similar to your own lifestyle in one group and that's that.
This has nothing to do with me so you can pocket the off topic ad hominem digs.
The fact is that many people have and explore sexual fantasies. It happens - get over it.
The OPs partner has a sexual fantasy. So she approached him with the possibility of exploring it. There is nothing wrong with that and it does not mean she has "issues". Certainly not the "issues" that some users on this thread have been assigning to her such as childhood abuse or mental illness requiring medication.
You seem to want to paint it that anyone who takes unnecessary risk in life for no other reason than some level of personal gratification - say sexual pleasure or an adrenaline rush - has "issues". Fine if that is YOUR definition of "issues" then so be it but your definition is so dilute that it encompasses a huge % of our entire species. A definition that general is useless.
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