Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's a mess. Anyone else have any "mess" in the family stories. Please share.
He's been in the foreclosure process at least once (mom gave him the money to restructure the mortgage) -- and is always late on the bills. Has bought things at rent a center, and even has a payday loan -- of 2,000. So that's how bad the money situation is.
HE doesn't want to leave the kids with her (he DEEPLY angrily blames her for everything), doesn't want to open himself up to an abandonment charge, doesn't want to pay for a household he's not in (forget about the fact he'd be paying his CHILDREN to have a home. He can't see that.)
He wants her to leave. And she's not going to do that -- without her youngest three girls 7, 8, 12. If she leaves she'd have just go to one of her sibling's house because she has no money for an apartment. That would bring her brothers into it. And how long will people let you leave there with your three kids.
I talk to my SIL -- so my brother thinks I'm talking her side over his. He's not talking to me at all. We do have another brother who'll talk to the one with the family trouble to see if he can get through to him. We're trying to get adults to be mature, without anger and do what's best for the children -- each one wants the OTHER to change or leave or file. My fear is someone is going to snap.
The GOOD NEWS is the children are the nicest, most polite, respectful, well behaved children you'll ever meet. Do well in school, are thoughtful and caring. Thank Gd for prayer.
But as for my brother if you're broke, angry, and the only way you see out you can't afford -- YOU think you're stuck. (and even if you get a divorce you won't have enough money to live off of - he thinks that's what his wife wants) Mentally that's not a good place.
So yeah I was asking about divorce for this situation.
Until they start acting like responsible adults avoid the charlie foxtrot that is their life. Once they move on from the blame game then you might be able to help them out.
Living in Maryland, it was far less complicated than other areas?
But it wasn't a complicated marriage. No shared property. No house, no kids, etc etc. I moved back in with my mom. Waited the year stipulant that we had to be officially "separated" for, then filed with my county clerk's office, for an uncontested divorce.
The process server I hired to track down my good for nothing ex, cost 50 bucks, found him online, to serve him his papers. The papers at the courthouse cost perhaps another 150. He didn't show up, the judge read the sentencing (aka freedom spiel) - and it was over. Didn't go over $200. Unless you count the celebration afterwards when everyone went out to eat and booze it up
Sounds like your Brother and SIL need to at the minimum separate and live separately.
If they can't live together and can't afford a divorce, they just need to tough it out until the kids are raised and gone. They will need to find an ADULT compromise to address the lack of money and 4 kids.
They need to be adults and discuss their other options. It does not have to be divorce.
That's exactly it. My spouse and I put in our time and raised four kids also. We were not very compatible nor did we share a similar out look on money and society. BUT we did our time like ADULTS - we brought the four kids into the world and walking away was not an option. We had lucrative years and there were years of poverty..but we were shrewd and scrapped by..We always provided a beautiful and save location for our kids. Money is not always the answer...it's basic smarts that pull you through. All of our kids are adult now - they are wonderful ethical people. Was it worth the personal sacrifice? YES. The results was four fine adults who love their parents dearly and who do good in the world.
The most important part about family finance is keep your business to yourself...Privacy is key...If you are broke people will persecute you and opportunities become less..If you have money they will envy you and make life difficult. Divorce is for losers...especially if you have children...Both parents have a sacred duty when it comes to children. You don't have to live poor either...I always had fine gardens and flower beds..the lawns were always cut and clean...because I am an artist there were nice painting on the walls...People in the poorest of nations raise kids...We live in North America...,our idea of poor is rich compared to some places.
As for the partnership with my spouse..we have a history and we love each other..but she lives else where...I just spoke to her a minute ago and she likes to brief me on what she is doing...I will stroll over later and we will have coffee together...I don't like to live alone..but alone allows me to be free and I don't have to answer to her about what I am doing or about money I have or do not have. Do your duty and raise your kids...your personal needs are secondary.
filing for divorce will cost you around $100 to $300 to file and an additional $100 to $300 for the other to file a response depending on your location.
filing for divorce only begins the process. Issues like child custody/support, spousal support, separation of property and accumulated debt have to be resolved before the divorce is granted. its potentially costly depending on your situation.
From the courts point of view, it does not matter who files. BUT, if your SIL gets pissed off because he files and decides to fight him over some silly point, then yes, that will cost him in excess fees.
My guess is that since he makes more than his wife, yes he will be on the hook for child support/alimony. If he doesn't make much, it might all be structured as child support rather than alimony, but IANAL and this is just a guess.
Rent, don't have children, and have your own car.
My divorce was quick, easy, and cheap. The divorce itself was around $100.00, no lawyers involved. However, I picked up an extra 2K in debt but that's another story.
Even better yet - don't get married unless you are a young couple that wants a family and close to 100% sure you all are going to make it.
lmfao. that's retarded. Unless I was born with a silver spoon or extremely aggressive and don't care about anything but work, it never does. I thought I was going to make it, I thought having a kid would change it all. Nope. Having a child adds another concern into the problem puzzle. I know many of my friend's fathers were not around. At the same time I was in a married household and neither one of my parents were home due to them working all the time.
Nice divorce costs. I would never pay the state child support, it's a huge waste of money. I would rather give the ex the money and more directly. guberment, it's not pay if im not hiring her, so stop taxing it.
the law says 50/50 but its not. the skill of the attorney plays a big part in who gets the biggest slice of the cake and be sure that the lawyer is guna get his. the worst thing u can do when the marriage is failing is just wait quietly for it to happen or worse believe the spouse when they say oh honey let me take care of the divorce. the person that wants to terminate your marriage is not your friend. this is the only time in your life you will or should trust a lawyer.
Living in Maryland, it was far less complicated than other areas?
But it wasn't a complicated marriage. No shared property. No house, no kids, etc etc. I moved back in with my mom. Waited the year stipulant that we had to be officially "separated" for, then filed with my county clerk's office, for an uncontested divorce.
The process server I hired to track down my good for nothing ex, cost 50 bucks, found him online, to serve him his papers. The papers at the courthouse cost perhaps another 150. He didn't show up, the judge read the sentencing (aka freedom spiel) - and it was over. Didn't go over $200. Unless you count the celebration afterwards when everyone went out to eat and booze it up
Did you have sex or boyfriends during that year, having a year mandatory separation would be an awful nightmare for a man, most women don't do the whole "separated" thing where as a woman can almost always find a man when "separated". I guess he could just lie.
I think just being a man is an awful nightmare. I hope God is getting a chuckle out of it and when its all over he says here is a real woman for you, you suffered enough.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
