What do you think? (boyfriend, how to, man, love)

[angioleto]

oh, what do you think of this situation:

i've been with a somebody for about a 1.5 years and already had a baby with him-it's all great; we're appreciative of each other and overall admire and love each other. Now, we had big fights over this whole time (me being pregnant-hormones and all) and our passion seems to be gone...it seems as if he's intimidated when it comes to sex...strange, but the fact is we dont even have sex anymore,...i mean maybe we do, but rarely.
I talked to him many times, and he's excuse is that we ruined by arguing! i dont know what to believe!?

Is he just making excuses and is not into me anymore or it could be truly that we had fights and it influenced him?

Thank you

[yellowsnow]

If your SO has no sexual interest in you 1.5 years into the relationship, it's not likely to get better over time. If you can accept this, fine. But if you are going to be very unhappy 5, 10, 20 years down the road, you might as well show him the door now. You're still young and you can find someone who can handle a relationship and parenting without losing his sex drive. Or better yet, learn how to survive on your own.

Or you can take the kinder, gentler path and get him mental help and anti depressants. Then 5 years from now you will probably have 3 kids and be back to asking this same question. A man who doesn't want sex in his 20's; his sexual prime, is not going to want sex in his 30's, 40's, etc.

[CityGirl72]

YOu don't mention how old you two are

Any relationship at 1.5 years is going to change, and sex will decrease (from the inital high when the relationship is new)

But you guys had a kid which will utterly change the relationship you have.

you need to either 1) get counseling or 2) realize that your new relationship is not fully developed and you started to become parents before you even had a chance to enjoy one another.....and in time you will grow apart (without counseling)

[Roaddog]

Originally Posted by angioleto

oh, what do you think of this situation:

i've been with a somebody for about a 1.5 years and already had a baby with him-it's all great; we're appreciative of each other and overall admire and love each other. Now, we had big fights over this whole time (me being pregnant-hormones and all) and our passion seems to be gone...it seems as if he's intimidated when it comes to sex...strange, but the fact is we dont even have sex anymore,...i mean maybe we do, but rarely.
I talked to him many times, and he's excuse is that we ruined by arguing! i dont know what to believe!?

Is he just making excuses and is not into me anymore or it could be truly that we had fights and it influenced him?

Thank you

It sounds like your saying you were instegating fights because of your hormones, well a guy can only put up with so much in a short 1.5 years, you may have turned him off with all the fighting, you may want to get yourself in check and stop fighting, try to become the person you were before all the fighting and maybe his feeling will return.

[aleecya]

It could be 3 things

1. Road dog may be right maybe the fighting has completely turned him off...
1 1/2 years is a very short time to be together to have produced life he may love you but he could be falling out of love with you due to all of the fighting.

2. He has a chick on the side that does not come with all of the strife.

3. maybe he is scared that you will become pregnant again, so he is being very cautious in having sex with you

It could be a combination of 1 and 3. I would have a serious talk with him about it... how you feel and ask him how he feels but be prepared for an honest truthful response.

[SmerkyGrl]

As my boyfriend tells me (tactfully) when I am having my crazy third week:

"It's a little difficult to feel attracted to someone when anything , anything that you do at all, can cause you to break down in hysterics or rip my heads off."


If the Romance is not there, the sex will not be.

That's the general rule of thumb. My guess is that the fighting killed the romance and your hormones are off the walls.

[I love the Bears]

Try to talk - not fight - if you can't get through a conversation without screaming - write each other letters. It sounds corny - but you need to figure this out. If you can't communicate it's only gonna get worse!

[HIF]

Are you using good birth control?

[SaveMtns]

Originally Posted by aleecya

It could be 3 things

1. Road dog may be right maybe the fighting has completely turned him off...
1 1/2 years is a very short time to be together to have produced life he may love you but he could be falling out of love with you due to all of the fighting.

2. He has a chick on the side that does not come with all of the strife.

3. maybe he is scared that you will become pregnant again, so he is being very cautious in having sex with you

It could be a combination of 1 and 3. I would have a serious talk with him about it... how you feel and ask him how he feels but be prepared for an honest truthful response.

Your thread is entitled: What do you think?... So, here goes:

My vote, sadly, is with #2, above - if not already, then eventually. If you had lots of sex early on, and NONE now--his heart, and "etc.", have probably moved on. Time for a very straightforward talk, and PROACTIVELY moving forward with whatever is BEST FOR THE CHILD. Please realize this child did not ask to be brought into an unstable situation, and it's now up to both of you to assure the best future possible for the her/him.

You asked if we think he is not into you anymore or if the fights have caused him to lose interest in sex. I believe that if he were still into you, there would be SOME indication that he still desires you. If he's truly completely turned off to you, then it may be time to make other plans for you and your child.

Time for that talk!!

[Granny Sue]

Originally Posted by angioleto

oh, what do you think of this situation:

i've been with a somebody for about a 1.5 years and already had a baby with him-it's all great; we're appreciative of each other and overall admire and love each other. Now, we had big fights over this whole time (me being pregnant-hormones and all) and our passion seems to be gone...it seems as if he's intimidated when it comes to sex...strange, but the fact is we dont even have sex anymore,...i mean maybe we do, but rarely.
I talked to him many times, and he's excuse is that we ruined by arguing! i dont know what to believe!?

Is he just making excuses and is not into me anymore or it could be truly that we had fights and it influenced him?

Thank you

1.5 yrs is not a long time to really get to know each other. Now you have a baby in the mix too.
He might just be overwelmed. He not only hasn't had a chance to really get used to being with you and now he has a baby.
And the arguing just doesn't help.
Are these important things you argue about or is it just power struggle stuff?
Everybody goes thru that stage.

Get someone to watch the baby and you two need to sit and talk......talk not argue.
If it end up not working out then get out now.

BTW, you do know that babies know when there is tension in the house don't you?

Good luck to you.