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Then why has all this gotten this far? Him coming to ME saying he falls into a deep depression when im upset with him & wanting to get back together even though long distance now. Continuing to want to be around me and tell me sweet things. Ignoring when i say "so if you plan to marry someobe else i dont want to talk anymore..." I just don't know why this all happened if he doesn't want to be with me
Originally he told me it could not happen in his family until we were very serious (right before getting engaged). Then he broke up with me saying his parents would never approve & he didn't want to hurt them. However, he became very depressed for months after he left me. Now he is asking if we can get back together because he's found he just can't be without me.
He said it's a huge step & right now is too soon, when he's only known me 6 months total and it'll be 3 more months before he knows where he'll be stationed for work for the next 2 years (we might be long distance for all that time!). But I want to decide how long I'm willing to wait for our relationship to progress to the next level... And if realistically he's ever planning on standing up to his parents for me anyhow!
Indians almost never marry out.
Plus, why would you want to be with a full-grown man who lets his parents dictate his life? Forget about that loser and move on.
Plus, why would you want to be with a full-grown man who lets his parents dictate his life? Forget about that loser and move on.
Agree, although I know of 2 mixed families of the kind: an Indian woman married to a regular (beside being handsome) American white guy, with 3 kids. And an Israeli woman married to an Indian man, no kids yet.
Both maintain decent relationship with relatives in India. It happens but it's definitely not common.
But this case presented by the OP and further developed in follow-up posts, there are so many contradictions, so many plot holes, it makes no sense to me. The gent went "back" (to India) and now "1,500 miles" away. You go from any point in the US 1,500 miles - you end up nowhere near India. You either end up swimming with whales or eating a burrito listening to a mariachi band or drinking whiskey with maple syrup chased by a mountie... And the behavior of Indian party as described, it simply fails my sanity.
I guess it doesn't make much sense. Breaks up with me once claiming it was because of the distance, then asks me to get back together right before I actually move. Calls me the love of his life, claims he'll tell his parents, then the next week "oh I can't tell my parents ever & I'll marry whomever they want." Yet all the while keeps telling me I'm so important to him, talking about when he will see me again and what we'll do.
I guess it doesn't make much sense. Breaks up with me once claiming it was because of the distance, then asks me to get back together right before I actually move. Calls me the love of his life, claims he'll tell his parents, then the next week "oh I can't tell my parents ever & I'll marry whomever they want." Yet all the while keeps telling me I'm so important to him, talking about when he will see me again and what we'll do.
I am not sure why you allow this guy to play games with you. You can find somebody who care about your feelings.
I guess it doesn't make much sense. Breaks up with me once claiming it was because of the distance, then asks me to get back together right before I actually move. Calls me the love of his life, claims he'll tell his parents, then the next week "oh I can't tell my parents ever & I'll marry whomever they want." Yet all the while keeps telling me I'm so important to him, talking about when he will see me again and what we'll do.
No it doesn't make much sense...
I think that is really cruel to say that to someone, and then play these games with you.
He is toying with your feelings and sounds a bit selfish to me. I understand family is important, but it seems like you will be always second to him.
You can find someone who puts you first, and doesn't play with your emotions.
I think that is really cruel to say that to someone, and then play these games with you.
He is toying with your feelings and sounds a bit selfish to me.
So, after everything I've been through, and as much as I loved him... Is this guy just playing with me, manipulating me, lying, and using me as a little white plaything, both sexually (in the past) and now emotionally to make himself feel good until he goes for an arranged marriage? Were the tears lies/manipulation, as well as the "you're the love of my life" line? He was fooling me with all of it?
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. You either end up swimming with whales or eating a burrito listening to a mariachi band or drinking whiskey with maple syrup chased by a mountie... And the behavior of Indian party as described, it simply fails my sanity.
