Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Originally he told me it could not happen in his family until we were very serious (right before getting engaged). Then he broke up with me saying his parents would never approve & he didn't want to hurt them. However, he became very depressed for months after he left me. Now he is asking if we can get back together because he's found he just can't be without me.
He said it's a huge step & right now is too soon, when he's only known me 6 months total and it'll be 3 more months before he knows where he'll be stationed for work for the next 2 years (we might be long distance for all that time!). But I want to decide how long I'm willing to wait for our relationship to progress to the next level... And if realistically he's ever planning on standing up to his parents for me anyhow!
It's up to you but it's a very big thing for cultures who are initially very family oriented and who want their members to "stick to their own". They want to feel sure this is someone they can see their lives with and that they're willing to risk jeopardizing their family relations with before telling them and 6 months isn't a very long time imo. If things continue to go well over the next 3 months, he may very well decide to tell them. Otherwise, meh...find someone who you feel more comfortable with.
If he is from an urban professional family, you may still stand a chance. Attitudes about marriage are changing much more slowly in rural areas.
I work with 4 Indian professionals, mostly in their 40s and 50s. All of them had their marriages arranged by their parents, including one whose wife was a former Indian Ambassdor (now retired), a very high civil service position in India. All of them have children and all of them are open to having their daughters find their own husband, but all of them will find their daughters husbands if the daughters want this. One girl - a Stanford MBA - decided she wanted an arranged marriage.
You never know. Tradition dies hard.
This.
One of my friends, an engineer here in the States, is from a traditional Indian family (parents live in Bangalore), and he is engaged to a woman his parents selected whom he has met once, and only gotten to know via skype (she is in India). When he and I met, he was struggling with the idea of arranged marriage. His parents had not yet "picked out" his bride-to-be, but were putting the pressure on him that he needed to come back to India to visit to meet some of the "candidates." He went back a few months ago, and, voila, engaged. Only thing is, now that he's met the girl and it's done, he feels much better about it. He's pretty modern, and was so worried that it would be weird, but now he's all for it.
Look the other way. My friend dated an Indian guy for SEVEN years and eventually he ended it and married an Indian woman. He destroyed her life, she lost all sense of who she was and her world crumpled. And he did it in the worst way too, told her he loved her, and LIKE YOU told her he had to work someplace else and that he had to go to India and all this stuff. Come to find out he LIED and was like 2 states away the WHOLE TIME, their relationship was "long distance" for years! And this girl was willing to move to India, convert, etc, for him.
If they aren't willing to tell their parents they are DATING a white person, then they definitely won't tell them when things get serious. If he's that depressed I'd tell him to tell his parents about the relationship FIRST and then you'll consider returning to him.
He was Hindu. 90% of India is Hindu it's that religion with the red dot in their foreheads. They worship many different Gods. And the gods are huge and visible. They are like Golden Gods of the old testament. ANyway he's Christian now we married in a church and ever since then, he's been using the word Hallelujah. He seems to love that word lol
Hindu is not a religion. It's a way of life, supported by mythical examples. It's not a bad way to live. There are no sex taboos, either.
Originally he told me it could not happen in his family until we were very serious (right before getting engaged). Then he broke up with me saying his parents would never approve & he didn't want to hurt them.
They want to feel sure this is someone they can see their lives with and that they're willing to risk jeopardizing their family relations with before telling them and 6 months isn't a very long time imo. If things continue to go well over the next 3 months, he may very well decide to tell them.
I know it's a bad thing in general to pressure a partner - ex. women who pressure their guy to propose before he is ready on his own - or in my case, to stand up and tell the family when we've not even been together half a year. All I care about is that he is honest about his intentions so I don't waste my time. If he really doesn't see us together long-term, then I assumed he wouldn't be so romantic with me all the time and say, "Let's see how things go and if we feel that things between us are permanent then I'll tell my family." He doesn't seem like the type to just string me along especially when he's not even getting sex out of it, only a long distance girlfriend -- which can be more hassle than anything. I guess the only way to know for sure is discuss it with him directly - but it sucks to have too many "status of the relationship" discussions instead of just enjoying it.
Originally he told me it could not happen in his family until we were very serious (right before getting engaged). Then he broke up with me saying his parents would never approve & he didn't want to hurt them. However, he became very depressed for months after he left me. Now he is asking if we can get back together because he's found he just can't be without me.
He said it's a huge step & right now is too soon, when he's only known me 6 months total and it'll be 3 more months before he knows where he'll be stationed for work for the next 2 years (we might be long distance for all that time!). But I want to decide how long I'm willing to wait for our relationship to progress to the next level... And if realistically he's ever planning on standing up to his parents for me anyhow!
don't get involved with Indians like this.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
