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You may be right. The reason I keep agonizing is that even as I explain what my situation is, I wonder if I'm "seeing" everything the right way & whether I can trust my own judgments. I keep having a nagging gut feeling that he's the one, we'll end up together after this very stressful few months in his life is over, etc, even though there doesn't seem to be a rational reason to think that way. It doesn't help that HE will act like he doesnt' want to date, then in the next breath kiss me, tell me I'm the love of his life, and want to work things out again.
How many tickets do you want for this Carousel? I've got plenty to sell if you are paying cash.
You are being kept on the line because you are allowing him to control your life at the moment and once he gets a really good grip, he will not let go.
CUT YOUR TIES IMMEDIATELY and completely, grow up, mature, move on and do not look back.
You may be right. The reason I keep agonizing is that even as I explain what my situation is, I wonder if I'm "seeing" everything the right way & whether I can trust my own judgments. I keep having a nagging gut feeling that he's the one, we'll end up together after this very stressful few months in his life is over, etc, even though there doesn't seem to be a rational reason to think that way. It doesn't help that HE will act like he doesnt' want to date, then in the next breath kiss me, tell me I'm the love of his life, and want to work things out again.
Sorry I can sympathize with your situation but then you have to understand that you would come across situations like these in life. There's no escaping them, not everything in life is sweet including relationships and relationships in fact have a lot of turbulence unless then two people are willing to go the extra distance to understand and live with a few adjustments at times. In your case the fact that you are so far away from each other might make it worse.
If he acts like he doesn't want to date you one second, kiss you the next second and talk sweet to you he doesn't seem like he's a man of his word. You would do better to find a man that's honest with you about what he says, that can stand up for his word and can stand up for you when needed. If you were to truly ask me, I would say leave this man and walk away from the relationship. If he can't stand up for you now he won't stand up for you ever and that's not the kind of man you would want to lead the rest of your life with anyway.
I am an Indian man too and I have never been in a relationship with an American woman ever, I don't know the reason why it just never happened. But if I were to truly like someone who's from here, I would still try to make the relationship work inspite of all the difference in culture etc etc if I really happen to love her. So far that didn't happen and I don't know if that's going to happen in the future, you never really know anyway. That's because beyond all the facades of religion, race, culture, tradition etc etc I am a man of my own will and would do things that are in my best interests including getting into a relationship, marriage etc etc. If your partner were sincere he would have done the same. I am sorry I am giving you the bitterpill but I don't think your relationship is going to work, reflect on yourself as a person, give yourself time to get away from the negativity surrounding your situation and please focus on your strengths, trust me things will eventually get better and life will be colorful again. That's the best I can tell you.
We're all entitled to our own opinions, but I don't know if that's fair. This guy displays the most confused, inconsistent behavior I can imagine. Trying to respond to it is constantly mind-boggling. I mean, a week ago he was kissing me and telling me he wanted to try long distance; this weekend he took me out and seemed very excited about it, then randomly erupted into saying how much he's been messing up at work and he can't handle a relationship with me as 1 more way for me to fail, then the next day he's apologizing and backtracking and saying we'll talk. I can only have so much clarity when I'm dealing with this.
Sorry I am confused here I thought your relationship was a long distance relationship. But the fact that he kissed you means that you two were with each other in person, so which one is it? Is it long distance or no?
That's correct. Our current distance isn't too, too bad. Could become worse when he gets his new position in 3 months -- IF he gets one anywhere at all now, that is, given the terrible mistakes and stress he's had there constantly recently.
That's correct. Our current distance isn't too, too bad. Could become worse when he gets his new position in 3 months -- IF he gets one anywhere at all now, that is, given the terrible mistakes and stress he's had there constantly recently.
Looks like he can't handle the stress of being in a relationship and working at the same time. Well people have to work no matter what unless he inherits a fortune, so if he can't handle the stress of being in a relationship and work at the same time now what makes you think he could in the future? If he's stressed out at work he either needs to change his job or change himself if he truly loves you and doesn't want to let you go. If he wants to end the relationship since he can't take the stress of the job and the relationship, he probably never loved you and never would anytime soon. Just my two cents.
It's hard to explain but right now is way more stressful than any future point merely because this is when he must get his foot in the door, so to speak. I do see your point but for a guy who's never had any relationship and is suddenly in a panic over thinking he may have just ruined his career, I can see how it was all just a panic at once. I just can't convince myself he doesn't truly love me and will never want to be together. We've come to this point... already where he's wanted to try again and has been unable to cut me out of his life
THIS IS CRAZY. We were talking earlier, he was saying how he just didn't want to make me think things would be easy, and right now he needs to be alone, and he didnt think there was much chance of us being able to get married later. Then I said something else, & he sent back a text saying oh, we definitely can't. Said in that text that he planned to now leave me alone for a while until I was ready to forgive him for everything.
Well in a crazy twist... My phone battery died (it's an old model, not a smartphone) & all I knew was that he'd texted me -- I had no idea what it said. So I sent a message on Yahoo! chat saying "Hey my phone's dead, so any communication you wanted to send me, just send through here." He started talkign to me like normal. I mentioned several times, "I know you texted before but I was never able to see it." He kept carrying on this wonderful convo with me. Finally I said "Was your text anything important?" He said "No not at all -- I'll talk to you soon and let me know if you need help setting up your new art easel after you buy it," etc.
Once I finally had access to a phone charger, I rehcharged my phone, saw his text, and freaked out. Did he just go back on his own words within 2 hours and pretend they never happened????
THIS IS CRAZY. We were talking earlier, he was saying how he just didn't want to make me think things would be easy, and right now he needs to be alone, and he didnt think there was much chance of us being able to get married later. Then I said something else, & he sent back a text saying oh, we definitely can't. Said in that text that he planned to now leave me alone for a while until I was ready to forgive him for everything.
Well in a crazy twist... My phone battery died (it's an old model, not a smartphone) & all I knew was that he'd texted me -- I had no idea what it said. So I sent a message on Yahoo! chat saying "Hey my phone's dead, so any communication you wanted to send me, just send through here." He started talkign to me like normal. I mentioned several times, "I know you texted before but I was never able to see it." He kept carrying on this wonderful convo with me. Finally I said "Was your text anything important?" He said "No not at all -- I'll talk to you soon and let me know if you need help setting up your new art easel after you buy it," etc.
Once I finally had access to a phone charger, I rehcharged my phone, saw his text, and freaked out. Did he just go back on his own words within 2 hours and pretend they never happened????
Why are you still wasting time and energy on this guy? It appears he is very clear in his text that you are not going to get married and he is not going to be with you any longer. How much more clear does it have to be until you undersand it?
Move on already
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