Should Your Husband have close Female friends? (date, girlfriend, how to)
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No he met this girl after marriage. Also he said that he will not call her anymore. Should I just trust him on this because I don't feel comfortable I feel he has an emotional attachment to this girl. I feel she will call him but I know I must trust him. I don't want to seem controlling and ask him to change his number so what do you guys think I should do?
Truly, the best thing to do is have a calm conversation with him and tell him about your feelings.
You are not comfortable with his growing attachment to this woman and you have a right to those feelings.
Be careful not to accuse him of doing anything wrong, just remind him that married people need to be protective of their relationship and have respect for each others feelings when it comes to others outside the relationship.
Truly, the best thing to do is have a calm conversation with him and tell him about your feelings.
You are not comfortable with his growing attachment to this woman and you have a right to those feelings.
Be careful not to accuse him of doing anything wrong, just remind him that married people need to be protective of their relationship and have respect for each others feelings when it comes to others outside the relationship.
Yes I did that today I sat him down and asked him will you be calling this girl again? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable this relationship especially when I think she wants something more with you. So he replied, No I will not call her anymore. Didn't I tell you that already? It's not going to kill me if I don't call her. So I said ok and left it at that, so I am going to trust him on this. And I did not argue with him or accuse him of anything because I know men don't like accusations and nagging. So I left it there.
Yes I did that today I sat him down and asked him will you be calling this girl again? Because it makes me feel uncomfortable this relationship especially when I think she wants something more with you. So he replied, No I will not call her anymore. Didn't I tell you that already? It's not going to kill me if I don't call her. So I said ok and left it at that, so I am going to trust him on this. And I did not argue with him or accuse him of anything because I know men don't like accusations and nagging. So I left it there.
My brother has female friends he's had since childhood/high school/etc. One was even "best man" at his wedding.
I'm gonna be the best man for my male best friends wedding as well It was actually suggested by his girlfriend and future wife, whom I adore and will probably refer to as my sister-in-law once their married.
Regardless, I wouldn't mind my potential husband/boyfriend/SO having a female friend. I mean, if he's gonna cheat he's gonna cheat and there's not much I can do to stop it so telling him 'no' like he's being a bad puppy isn't going to help.
This is a very good question that I think everybody should know the answer to and vice versa.
A quick look at the forum will show you that this is a question that comes up very often indeed. You are very far from the first person to suggest we explore it.
From my perspective I would not want to be in a relationship where my friendship - or that of my partner(s) - would be curtailed based on nothing but the sex of the person I/we are friendly with.
If people want to enter into such a relationship with such caveats - then that is fine as long as all parties in that relationship agree to it. There is no "should" here or "must" - there is only what the people in the relationship want from/of that relationship.
As such there is no "correct" answer to your question. Any answer we give you will be based on what we want from OUR relationship(s). It can not inform you what you want from yours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Was the close female friend someone he was friends with BEFORE you came into his life, or after?
I however would see that as not being just slightly - but entirely irrelevant.
Friends are friends - regardless of when the friendship was formed. Marriage - or new romantic relationships - are not defacto a barrier beyond which all formation of future friendships has to halt by definition.
I know a man who is very good friends with a woman....he is also friends with HER husband. He goes running with the lady, does work together, plans, talks....the husband is fine with it. They are like brother and sister. I think its nice if a man can be friends with a woman, it shows he respects women and can see them as more than sexual beings.
My husband has a female friend whom he has known since the early 1990's. He met her at work through a male friend of his who also worked at the same company. Both of them were in their early twenties at the time. The two of us were not dating at that time. We started dating in 2012. We met at work.
The female friend liked my husband's male friend more than she liked him, and so the two of them began dating.
They dated off and on. Later on they chose to be friends.
According to my husband, he and the female friend would hang out at her place alone, and he would spend the night on her couch. This happened off and on beginning in the early 1990's.
When he and I became involved in a committed relationship, he introduced me to her. He, I, the female friend and they guy she used to date *he was her friend at the time* went out to dinner several times as well as hanging out at his place or at her place.
One time while all four of us were hanging out at her place, she mentioned to us that she wished she was involved with a guy. A couple of days later she sent my boyfriend asking him to come over to her place on a Friday night to 1) hang stuff from her ceiling, 2) have dinner with her at her place, 3) watch tv, 4) stay up late talking, 5) have him spend the night on her couch, and 6) go out for breakfast the following day. I told him that I was not comfortable with that situation since we were in a committed relationship at that time and she knew we were. I told him I was comfortable with his going over to her place to hang stuff from her ceiling but not with his spending time alone with her participating in the other activities as well as spending the night on her couch. He let her know this. She chose not to have him come over at all.
Then he found out from her that 1) she was mad at him for his cancelling and 2) she was not speaking to him for a while.
During the time that she was not speaking to my boyfriend, I had to work late one night. Both of us worked for the same employer but at different locations. He knew that I had to work late, and so he called his male friend *who was friends with the female friend who was not speaking to him* to ask him if he could pick me up and take me back to his place since I was staying with him. The female friend was at my husband's male friend's place, and she overheard their conversation. She told my husband's male friend that no, he will not pick me up and that I had to find another way back to his place.
I chose not to get involved in the entire situation. I let my boyfriend handle things with his female friend alone the way he wanted to.
She did not speak to him for several months.
During this time we became engaged, and he let her know this.
After we got married in 2013, my husband wanted to mend things with his female friend. He also wanted her and I to try to be friends again. So my husband, I, her and her male friend *the ex-boyfriend* spent time together at her place one night back in 2013. She sent us a Christmas card letting us know that she moved, and she included her new address. She also sent my husband a text back in 2013 asking him if the two of us would like to hang out at her place again. At that time both of us had to work around our work schedule. He worked 6 days a week, and I worked 5 days a week. He let her know this as well as the fact that both of us have to get up at 4 a.m. Monday through Friday for work and that he has to get up at 4:30 a.m. on Saturday's for work. No further texts from her after this.
Recently my husband received a phone call from her male friend letting him know that 1) he had forgot her birthday and 2) she feels that my husband deliberately forgot her birthday. I do not even know when her birthday is. She is currently not speaking to him for a while.
I let my husband handle his friendship problems with her on his own. I do not get involved in their friendship.
I do not know what will happen regarding their friendship.
I bet every married man I work with has wives just like the ones in this thread. "Oh I trust my husband 100% he would never do anything."
I work with some amazing great loyal men, and also some real slimeballs. Even ones that you'd never imagine. Married forever, super nice, but rather inappropriately hitting on women.
I work with one of the very very few women at our company. Shes young and single and not too bad looking.
She tells me everrrrrything. Which guys hit on her, what they say. She called me yesterday about an inappropriate email from a client. Her and I are very close. However, my girlfriend knows all about her. This girl has came to dinner with my gf and I, and I knew if I was going to have a female friend its only appropriate she is friends with my gf as well.
A lot of these things regarding trust depend on the husband. Not only his morals, but also whether he could even get women to sleep with him regardless.
Love when people bash Tiger Woods for what he did. Of course for some loser its far easier to be committed to the one girl you convinced to date you, as opposed to someone like Tiger who constantly has some of the worlds most beautiful women throwing themselves at him.
Look at how many guys cant get dates let alone girlfriends. Who would have a problem trusting these guys? They couldnt cheat if they wanted to.
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It was actually suggested by his girlfriend and future wife, whom I adore and will probably refer to as my sister-in-law once their married. 
