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Old 05-20-2013, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
8,524 posts, read 4,047,395 times
Reputation: 5404
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
Obviously young people look the best, both the men and women.
And, obviously looks certainly play a great role in chemistry, and chemistry matters a lot to some



....But looks fade and people get old, wrinkly, fat, and grey. Some people earlier than others... Through out my time here I have seen that this fade affects some relationships (either directly or indirectly), where as others manage to stick through...


...My question is, how do you deal with that crap? What must you do to see the relationship past the looks to make it together with one person to the old age?
Lots politically correct answers, all cliches.
Honestly speaking, I don't have answers at all. The nagging thoughts of growing old bother me I guess I will deal with it when I have to deal with it.

For the time being, just enjoy your youth till it lasts.
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Old 05-20-2013, 05:28 AM
 
Location: The front porch outside of the Astral Plane
16,652 posts, read 9,762,831 times
Reputation: 26831
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
Lots politically correct answers, all cliches.
Honestly speaking, I don't have answers at all. The nagging thoughts of growing old bother me I guess I will deal with it when I have to deal with it.

For the time being, just enjoy your youth till it lasts.

I have read "answers" and see nothing politically correct nor cliché about them at all. It is pretty basic and simple but "society" has made it nearly impossible to seriously think about a "lifetime" commitment and not just a "long term" commitment because of all the standards, requirements and the entitled mentality and that does not include the fact that so many change their sexual partners like others change their undies.
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
5,537 posts, read 1,959,020 times
Reputation: 20199
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
That's the advice offered to men on other forums. Not to settle until the 30's
I'l assume you mean settle down.

I was never big on dating multiple women but I waited until I was in my 40s and it was the biggest mistake I made in my entire life. Not that it was all bad but I so wish I could get those years back.

There are no guarantees, ever. People change and often it is for the worst. Be careful and don't marry or settle down with someone based on looks. I did not do that and I was with her at the time because we had a lot of things in common. That to me is the biggest trait. Being best friends with your partner is very important. Although it didn't work for me it should increase your chances of old age not making a difference.
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:13 AM
 
9,563 posts, read 3,559,489 times
Reputation: 3164
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
I'l assume you mean settle down.

I was never big on dating multiple women but I waited until I was in my 40s and it was the biggest mistake I made in my entire life. Not that it was all bad but I so wish I could get those years back.

There are no guarantees, ever. People change and often it is for the worst. Be careful and don't marry or settle down with someone based on looks. I did not do that and I was with her at the time because we had a lot of things in common. That to me is the biggest trait. Being best friends with your partner is very important. Although it didn't work for me it should increase your chances of old age not making a difference.
Yes settle down. What ever happened to people changing for the better though? I thought many people that were wild, immature, and unsure in their 20's have become wise by the time they start their 40's?
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:28 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
5,537 posts, read 1,959,020 times
Reputation: 20199
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
Yes settle down. What ever happened to people changing for the better though? I thought many people that were wild, immature, and unsure in their 20's have become wise by the time they start their 40's?
I was never like that but apparently many are, especially this generation.

Reaching your 40s is no guarantee of everyone becoming wise.
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Old 05-20-2013, 07:08 AM
 
9,563 posts, read 3,559,489 times
Reputation: 3164
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
I was never like that but apparently many are, especially this generation.

Reaching your 40s is no guarantee of everyone becoming wise.
That sucks. So much for waiting until everyone learns from their mistakes.
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:19 AM
 
Location: NY
6,073 posts, read 4,963,137 times
Reputation: 6506
The chemistry and attraction between myself and my wife is far deeper and more complicated than the physical attraction.

Honestly, I feel that any physical attraction we have for each other has been greatly enhanced the non-physical things we find attractive about each other.
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Holiday, FL
1,577 posts, read 757,285 times
Reputation: 1113
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol View Post
Name 10 traits more important than looks?
Honesty
Dependability
Intelligence
Humor
Non-addict (drugs or alcohol)
Emotionally stable
Compassionate
Tender
Supportive (Emotionally)
Communicative
Sensitive
Openness
Adventurous
Appreciative
Warm character
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
4,423 posts, read 3,672,195 times
Reputation: 6864
Physical appearance is only one part of the attraction in a good relationship. I notice that my wife and I are both getting older, but so far we've managed to keep looking good through diet and exercise and taking care of ourselves. But, there are definite signs of age and those will only increase.

I also notice that these signs of aging - while initially a bit disconcerting - matter less and less. The realization that our future time together is limited makes our present time together even more precious. The love, caring, compatibility, and shared history, interests, and intimacy are growing with time, even as looks start to fade.
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:24 AM
 
Location: Hills & Hollers of the Aux Arcs
18,820 posts, read 15,508,530 times
Reputation: 16654
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
You really have to marry your best friend not your best "looking" friend. You have to absolutely like each other first, then love, mutual respect, trust, etc. follows. No matter what anyone says on any forum or web site or even the "professionals", there is no age range which is best to settle down. It is different for everyone but seriously do NOT "just settle" for someone. Live your life, find the perfect partner for you, not that they will be perfect but they will be perfect for you and move forward together, side by side.
Perfect! My wife and I are about to turn 65 and 67, respectively. Have the years taken their toll? Of course. Has that affected our relationship? Absolutely not. We are now what we were before and have remained during our marriage, best of friends.
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