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I think i misinterpreted your previous post. I think that in reality, many guys who enjoy seeing women who wear short skirts and give it up on the first date, rarely see them as LTR/marriage material. They just see them as sex objects and for purposes of a one night stand. Of course it doesnt mean that wearing a short skirt or sleeping with someone on a 1st or second date guarantees that a guy will never want more, but in general terms those are the first impressions. I think once again it goes back to the fact that each relationship is unique, and should be treated as such.
I think you are right on the mark. Maybe not all men, but I think a lot of men think this way. There is a reason why there is the cliche that a man won't "respect" a woman "in the morning." It's repeated over and over again in articles, in self-help books, on dating forums.
I think i misinterpreted your previous post. I think that in reality, many guys who enjoy seeing women who wear short skirts and give it up on the first date, rarely see them as LTR/marriage material. They just see them as sex objects and for purposes of a one night stand. Of course it doesnt mean that wearing a short skirt or sleeping with someone on a 1st or second date guarantees that a guy will never want more, but in general terms those are the first impressions. I think once again it goes back to the fact that each relationship is unique, and should be treated as such.
i think these guys are often kidding themselves if they think the girl they eventually settle down with hasn't done these things at some point
agreed that these impressions matter (even if i don't particularly think they are very wise impressions to have)
agreed re unique and evaluating each encounter uniquely. to me, this implies that i should avoid having rules such as a girl who sleeps with me on date 3 must be relegated to booty call status just for that reason
i think these guys are often kidding themselves if they think the girl they eventually settle down with hasn't done these things at some point
agreed that these impressions matter (even if i don't particularly think they are very wise impressions to have)
agreed re unique and evaluating each encounter uniquely. to me, this implies that i should avoid having rules such as a girl who sleeps with me on date 3 must be relegated to booty call status just for that reason
Maybe, maybe not. This only covers college years unfortunately, but it's all I could find.
Quote:
2. The median number of sexual partners for males is more than 1.5 times the female median through age 34.
3. At age 24, only 7% of women have had 15 or more sexual partners. By the time women reach their late 20s, just past the average age at first marriage, that number rises to 13%. 4. 13% of males report 15+ partners by age 24, and 23% by age 29.
Basically only a small percentage of both men and women are having sex with multiple partners. So a man who sleeps around a lot has a pretty good chance of marrying a woman who didn't. Of course, this also means a woman who slept around a lot also has a good chance at finding a man who didn't.
Quote:
On most campuses, female and male virgins alike have no idea that they represent the single largest group on campus, those with zero sexual partners....
Still, researchers have found that when students are asked what percentage of their fellow students had sex the previous weekend, they often reply in the range of 75-80%, when the real number is closer to 5%.
Whenever you feel ready which varies by person. I don't think it's a HUGE deal, but it could be. You could get pregnant and end up tied to someone forever who ends up being a whack a doodle for the rest of your life because you slept with them without knowing much about them.
Yes.
I've known women stay on BC pills no matter whether they are sexually active or not., so they might feel more comfortable doing things sooner than later.
I've known other women who might not be on the pill, and need more time to think about what they will do about BC, etc., before they get sexually active.
I've known women stay on BC pills no matter whether they are sexually active or not., so they might feel more comfortable doing things sooner than later.
I've known other women who might not be on the pill, and need more time to think about what they will do about BC, etc., before they get sexually active.
There are also many, many women who use bc pills to regulate heavy cycles, diminish acne or symptoms of PMDD and to treat endometriosis. I myself took BC for 6 years before I even lost my virginity.
BC pills are not just for pregnancy prevention. It's sad because I've known plenty of guys that say 'if you see a pack of BC pills, you know she's willing to put out'. Clueless.
There are also many, many women who use bc pills to regulate heavy cycles, diminish acne or symptoms of PMDD and to treat endometriosis. I myself took BC for 6 years before I even lost my virginity.
BC pills are not just for pregnancy prevention. It's sad because I've known plenty of guys that say 'if you see a pack of BC pills, you know she's willing to put out'. Clueless.
Agree, and I wasn't trying to imply that being on BC pills means the guy should assume anything.
I myself never had very good experiences with BC pills. They never failed but had tons of side effects for me. I'm sure there are other women out there who initially struggle with what the best decision is in regards to BC.
There are also many, many women who use bc pills to regulate heavy cycles, diminish acne or symptoms of PMDD and to treat endometriosis. I myself took BC for 6 years before I even lost my virginity.
BC pills are not just for pregnancy prevention. It's sad because I've known plenty of guys that say 'if you see a pack of BC pills, you know she's willing to put out'. Clueless.
You can also take BC pills if you participate in a sport where your period can be annoying to say the least. I used to time them so my weekends would be period free for scuba diving. You can also take them for PMS relief too.
Agree, and I wasn't trying to imply that being on BC pills means the guy should assume anything.
I myself never had very good experiences with BC pills. They never failed but had tons of side effects for me. I'm sure there are other women out there who initially struggle with what the best decision is in regards to BC.
I had side effects, but they were better than dealing with the horrible cramps I dealt with that literally put me out of commission for 2-3 days a month. I spent those days curled up in a fetal position, vomiting every hour or so and basically sobbing quietly. It was horrible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean
You can also take BC pills if you participate in a sport where your period can be annoying to say the least. I used to time them so my weekends would be period free for scuba diving. You can also take them for PMS relief too.
That's exactly what my friend did when she was playing water polo.
Basically only a small percentage of both men and women are having sex with multiple partners. So a man who sleeps around a lot has a pretty good chance of marrying a woman who didn't. Of course, this also means a woman who slept around a lot also has a good chance at finding a man who didn't.
The myth is that almost everyone is shagging new people on a consistent basis.
The truth is that most people aren't shagging 4 people a year.
The problem is, a lot of shagging occurs from people who often frequent bars, and online date. And most people surround themselves with 'like' people. Therefore people that shag 4 partners a year think that is normal, or even a low number. And since 'everyone' is doing it, they don't realize that in actuality, most people aren't doing it. More than likely, those two different types of people don't commiserate. When in actuality, when you consider the American population as a whole, the concept of 4 sexual partners a year for their entire 20's brings them to 40 partners, which on average across a wide spectrum, is a high number of sexual partners. Now, if you compare 4 partners a year to the population of people that frequent bars 2-4 times a week for most their 20's, and have a large social network, then 40 could be a low number.
Also, there is the misconception that sex is all over universities. Some people, escecially the greek system have a reputation for a lot of sexual activity. But the Greek system is only one social outlet on a university, and they surround themselves with like people, and 'outsiders' are not typically welcome. There are alot of people in college not having sex as well.
The fallacy is that people think that their own behavior is the norm, regardless of what it is. 0, 1, 5, 20, or 200 total partners.
Sure a lot of people are having a lot of sex. But I truly believe many people have no idea how infrequently some people are shagging, or not shagging.
Just like everything else, it is all about perspective.
Of course, during these studies that claim the average person only experiences 7 total sexual partners in a life time may be completely lying.
Cause really, that one time on vacation and the so-and-so I met at the bar, and oh yea the one at the concert that one time.... those don't REALLY count. And then you have experiences outside your zip code, those don't count either, right? Oh, and when so-and-so filled out the survey, their lovey dovey was right there, and lovey dovey thinks it IS 7 partners, so being honest and stating 40 partners might creat an issue. Opps-a-daisy!!
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