Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-24-2013, 05:18 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,113 posts, read 60,214,676 times
Reputation: 60714

Advertisements

No on line "dating".

Your "girlfriend" wasn't someone you'd never met.

In the 70's it didn't take tequila to make her clothes fall off.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-24-2013, 05:34 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarcelonaFan View Post
I don't know but from what I've read, heard and even see from the countless movies of the time, getting laid and finding a hot spot to party was pretty easy in the late 70s and early 80s.

People seemed to have more money because that was the last generation that was at the tail end of the wage increases meeting inflation. So with your salary you could go out in a nice hot rod, go to eat and buy a bunch of drinks at the bar without resorting to credit, breaking the bank or living above your means.

Today a lot of the youth go to house parties or dirty dank clubs and bars where the booze is cheaper and only about a third find hurried random sex, the rest leave home empty handed.

I don't want to glorify the times but it seemed like everything was wilder, more vibrant, more open, free and it was probably a lot easier to meet women.

Today everyone is on guard and groups in bars, clubs seem way more cliquish. I think the STDs, HIV, and the conservative administrations put things back into order and literally killed the counter culture movement.
This doesn't make sense to me. The 70's and 80's were bad economic times. Jobs were scarce in the 70's, it was the era of "stagflation". The Arab oil embargo caused gas prices to skyrocket. Many people who graduated from college at that time had no job prospects, unless they could land a job that was subsidized by the feds under a job-creation program. I don't know about the 80's job-wise, but I know a lot of people who lived through the 70's. That's when it became the norm for students and college grads to share houses and even double up and share a bedroom in communal households. It was not at all a free-wheeling time. The only guys who could find women easily, or at all, were the same kind of guys who find it easy to find women now. Shy guys went through college without dating, just like some guys do now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 05:38 PM
 
2,720 posts, read 5,614,090 times
Reputation: 1320
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
This doesn't make sense to me. The 70's and 80's were bad economic times. Jobs were scarce in the 70's, it was the era of "stagflation". The Arab oil embargo caused gas prices to skyrocket. Many people who graduated from college at that time had no job prospects, unless they could land a job that was subsidized by the feds under a job-creation program. I don't know about the 80's job-wise, but I know a lot of people who lived through the 70's. That's when it became the norm for students and college grads to share houses and even double up and share a bedroom in communal households. It was not at all a free-wheeling time. The only guys who could find women easily, or at all, were the same kind of guys who find it easy to find women now. Shy guys went through college without dating, just like some guys do now.
We're certainly back to the days of stagflation only this time there is no job creation program and wages continue to sink in regards to inflation.

Esssentially, you're right. It was a time of deep stress but for the most part I've gathered that the 70s and 80s didn't have the kind of hang up people have now about being reserved. Regardless of the economic downturn people still went out and I don't know if it was due to the hard times but they got down.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,771 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ankhharu View Post
Too young to date in the 80's, but I can talk about the 90's. It did require you to be more bold and there wasn't any hiding behind texts, emails, etc. You talked to them on the phone. And even if you didn't want a relationship, it seemed you still had to go on dates to "hook up" as opposed to nowadays, if you just want a fling like that, you only take them around groups of friends to hang out. None of these dating stuff.
I find this to be true. I started dating in 1988, and there were girls who were easier than others, however it wasn't just hook ups with random guys, it seemed there was always dating involved. People wanted GFs and BFs to have a steady relationship and sex, not just random FBs (the term didn't exist then). It seemed more of a status thing to be in a relationship, not be king of the ONS. I'm sure the AIDS crisis played a part, but people also weren't quite so skeptical or pessimistic toward (or is it fearful and ignorant about) the opposite sex like many on here seem to be today.

Dating really wasn't complicated. You liked someone, they liked you back, you went out. If it wasn't awful, you went out again and saw where it went. Because you dated within your community usually, not having access via internet to the whole planet, you weren't dating with one eye on your BF/GF and another over their shoulder looking for the next thing. I also find people didn't have lists or exceedingly high standards/demands.

I'm not sure at what time it shifted, and what contributed to this new wave of pickiness and selfishness in relationships, when it became less about connecting with another and more about what you could "get".

Fortunately, as frightening as the prospect of dating in 2010 was versus the last time I was single in 1996, it didn't turn out so badly, especially dating in my peer group who'd grown up in the same time period and not in Generation Y/Z. I couldn't handle what passes for dating at 20 today.

Last edited by Katnan; 05-24-2013 at 07:09 PM.. Reason: my grammar sucks tonight
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 06:11 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,113 posts, read 60,214,676 times
Reputation: 60714
The term FB did exist in the 1980's. I had a girl tell me in the 1970's that she felt that was all she was to me. She was correct.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:04 PM
 
19,965 posts, read 30,111,427 times
Reputation: 40023
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Lots of great comments, so I won't repeat them. However, one big factor in dating prior to current technology is that you dated from a much smaller pool, you didn't have the whole world at your doorstep. As a youth, you would choose from someone at your school or where you worked part-time, or maybe through a friend. You weren't making connections halfway across the country or world. So in a sense it was easier, because people weren't so ridiculously picky as they seem to be today, thinking that they have hundreds of options or that someone better will always be coming along.

My high school had a French Immersion component so students in that program would come from all over the city to the school, and it was almost odd that they had a different social circle because of where they lived versus where they went to high school.

I found dating to be much more straightforward in the late 80s and 90s. Heck, life in general seems simpler because people communicated and went out, they didn't all sit separately in their homes, communicating by text about the minutiae of everyday life that was never important enough to care about, let alone share with your FB friends and Twitter followers. What you ate for lunch, or were thinking at any given moment wasn't a concern to anyone. No one needed to know those things. I don't know, it just seemed more meaningful and had more depth than today.
good points

so, in this age of over-communication,,,have we diluted it ...where its less meaningful? or are we now so much more dramatic - so not to sound boring??
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:11 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarcelonaFan View Post
We're certainly back to the days of stagflation only this time there is no job creation program and wages continue to sink in regards to inflation.
Because there's no money, thanks to a stupid, pointless war in Iraq, and tax cuts for the wealthy. OK back to topic...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarceloneFan View Post
Esssentially, you're right. It was a time of deep stress but for the most part I've gathered that the 70s and 80s didn't have the kind of hang up people have now about being reserved. Regardless of the economic downturn people still went out and I don't know if it was due to the hard times but they got down.
Are people more reserved now? Maybe in the end, society didn't change in that respect. Maybe the so-called "counterculture" was a temporary and somewhat marginal blip. ....? Good question for the history forum. But the 70's was when it became ok for couples to live together without getting married.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:35 PM
 
947 posts, read 1,184,338 times
Reputation: 1397
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Chivalry actualy paid off, imagine that. Women were more feminine, innocent and much less aggressive. Men were more masculine in general terms. The entire dating world was much more defined, as in you knew exactly what to expect and what was expected of you.
Not important.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,771 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
good points

so, in this age of over-communication,,,have we diluted it ...where its less meaningful? or are we now so much more dramatic - so not to sound boring??
Good question! In my opinion, yes, communication has been diluted and has become less meaningful. As much as technology advances are great, there are downsides and, IMO, one of the unintended consequences of more ways to be in contact, has also created isolation. People are on their phones constantly or in front of their computers...alone. I'm talking to you right now, a complete stranger, wherever you live, but I'm in my house alone and we are not friends or even acquaintances but rather familiar usernames on a messageboard we frequent. This should never be confused or substituted for good quality face-to-face interactions, but I'm afraid there are many who use technology to hide from the world, not to mention aren't learning proper social interaction that is a necessary part of life.

Things like FB and Twitter are creating a world of narcissists who believe every little thing they do is of importance and everyone needs to know and care. My neighbour is 33 and feels the need to tell everyone she went to the gym, or baked cookies, or is enjoying a sunny day and has all the windows open to air out the house. Really?

I almost feel my reply should be moved to the texting or calling thread that is currently going on. But I think that some of the advances in technology are crimping or stunting emotional growth, which in turn can negatively impact communication and socialization. Sure, maybe everyone texts...heck I even got my mom a Blackberry so should could BBM me instead of constant phone calls (since my dad passed). In that regard, technology is a good thing because I didn't need a phone call to tell me she was going to the grocery store. However, that, IMO, is what texting/IMing is for, quick information, not full out conversations.

It saddens me to see so many replies from guys here who won't talk on the phone, especially to a date. I'm sure the majority of men don't like it, but it hasn't stopped decades worth of men from doing just that, in pursuit of love and relationships. And the instantness of technology, texting, IMing has impacted the dating scene because people want instant, feel-good connections, and if they don't get that immediately upon meeting another, it's "neeeexxxxxxt!" Life is so hurried nowadays. I even find that in business, but that's a whole other tangent.

What you read today, ate today, and every random thought that passes through your mind doesn't matter a hill of beans in the end and doesn't need to be shared for an ego boost or attention. Were you kind to someone today? Did you notice the spring flowers in bloom? Did you do anything for anyone without wondering what you'd get in return? Do your parents recognize your face at the dinner table of just the top of your head? Do you listen fully and are present with your date who is in front of you or are you distracted by the "hey, whassup" texts from your friends who can't make a move without consulting a dozen others first?

Everyone can have a tendency to be self-involved, and I come to CDR for the entertainment and sometimes just to spout my opinion on a topic, but it is truly shocking, at least half or more of the posts I read here daily by selfish people who are only concerned about themselves and what they want, can get, feel they deserve. Thankfully I don't see as much out IRL as I do in the microcosm of the relationship section where the "relationally-challenged" opine about things of which they have no clue, and spread falsehoods and often just plain ignorance, and can't see why they have no success with the opposite sex. If dating is hard today, it's because they don't know how to do it and are making it much more difficult than it needs to be. You CAN overthink something too much. Learn to read social cues, or have someone teach you because you don't know how, being too busy doing the exact opposite of what it takes to meet people and form relationships.

Whew, rant over. Leaping off my soapbox now! Ask a simple question, get a novel in response!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2013, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,771 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob-Man View Post
Not important.
Why do you think that?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:53 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top