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It's basically a response to the emerging pop culture idea of our 20s being a decade in which we can still shrug off developing ourselves until we are in our 30's. The speaker talks a lot about relationships and how we can spend time wasting our 20's on people who are a bad match for us and then later down the road just settle because we feel pressured to do so and put off getting to know ourselves and what we want.
What the speaker said was that personalities are still in a state of flux in the 20's, so that's the time to work out any leftover baggage you may have from family/childhood or other issues, that's the time to go deep and figure out what you want for your career, that's the time to complete your developmental process before jumping into an LTR that you might make permanent. If you deal with those issues in your 20's, you'll be in a strong position to make healthy, productive choices by your late 20's/early 30's. Unfortunately, many psychologists are not up to date with this perspective. I know 20-something women who tried to get help resolving core issues, and got nowhere. Sometimes it seems like people have to wait until the psychology profession plays catch-up, and evolves to where it can really help people with certain types of needs.
Hmmm... interesting. I wasted so much time during my teens. I smoked up most days from 14-16yo and had zilch, zero, nada to show for it. I woke up from it one day and realized everyone was going off to University and College and getting jobs and starting lives and I was constantly getting kicked out on my @ss and "couch surfing." I had so much catching up to do that by the time I was 18, I was pretty set on not wasting another a minute.
I'm 32 now and my 20's were a time for huge change, successes and failures but I'm happy to say I didn't waste any time. I'm happy with what I have and I have a plan for what I'm doing next and I know exactly where I'm going. So much better than being so stoned on a dodgy mattress in someone's attic. I haven't had to play catch up. I kept busy all through my 20's.
At least I learned a lesson from the mistakes of my teens.
Hmmm... interesting. I wasted so much time during my teens. I smoked up most days from 14-16yo and had zilch, zero, nada to show for it. I woke up from it one day and realized everyone was going off to University and College and getting jobs and starting lives and I was constantly getting kicked out on my @ss and "couch surfing." I had so much catching up to do that by the time I was 18, I was pretty set on not wasting another a minute.
I'm 32 now and my 20's were a time for huge change, successes and failures but I'm happy to say I didn't waste any time. I'm happy with what I have and I have a plan for what I'm doing next and I know exactly where I'm going. So much better than being so stoned on a dodgy mattress in someone's attic. I haven't had to play catch up. I kept busy all through my 20's.
At least I learned a lesson from the mistakes of my teens.
Good for you. And if you forget your lessons (not you, you in general) you are doomed to repeat them.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Being totally real, I'm turning 25 in two weeks and I have an intense fear of getting stuck. I've been at the same level of my job for years even despite graduating from college. Relationship-wise I'm seeing a lot of my friends get married and have babies and I have only had one girl who I have gotten to a second date with. I just hate being in limbo like this and I'm horrified if something does not change fast I'll be stuck in this limbo state forever.
First off,I was one of the serious people. I became a nurse at 22,so my career started when I was young. I didn't party,drink,or smoke. Seems ok right?
Wrong. I missed out on partying and being" carefree".
I didn't start wanting to party until 28,and by then I may have been to "old".
I say get the fun out of your system while in your 20's. There will be plenty of time to develop a career. I know many nurses start their careers later in life. 90% of my coworkers didn't have careers in nursing until their late 30's.
Regarding relationships,I would tell a young woman nowadays to find a husband,then develop a career.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I regret NoT having partied like other 20 year olds did.
Last edited by jerseygal4u; 05-25-2013 at 08:59 PM..
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