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My fiance wants to sleep with other women .. he says all men want to do hes.just.being honest.because he loves me and doesnt.want to lose me that he would never.put another women before me ..he just wants.to.have sex with some. Women sometimes.. we have been together for almost.three years.in july and we live together and have a 9 month old.child.what should I do .. and what does.this mean im not good enough any more ?
let's see, he wants to screw another woman,,,because he loves you,,,and to strengthen your relationship??
if thats not calling a dog-Mod cut: language. a rose,,i don't know what is,,
Ouch, sucks that a little child is in the middle of this and doesn't even know it. Honestly, the best thing for you to do would be to tell him to take a hike and leave him. If he's the father of your child and you guys have been together that long, he should man up and be loyal to his baby's mother.
Can't stand all these dead-beat fathers these days. No offense OP.
I am a man in a relationship with a woman I'd like to marry, and I have had thoughts of sexual encounters with other woman, even though I am completely satisfied sexually in my relationship. Most men will have these thoughts, and if they allow themselves, can even develop feelings of love for other woman.
You have a very real and (I would guess) common situation. Actually, in one way you are fortunate because many men who have these thoughts or feelings would not (possibly because they don't know how) express them, and just secretly go out and sleep with other women.
In my situation, expressing that I was having those thoughts to my girlfriend really helped me to release them, perhaps that will be the case with him too.
It really helped that my woman was persistent in expressing how uncomfortable and hurt she was feeling about the situation. When I finally (after much persistence) realized how much pain and problems this issue created in my relationship with the woman I loved, it made the decision easy.
She could have just left, forcing me to make a decision out of guilt or shame. But instead she allowed me to make a decision, and as a man, that was very empowering.
Today, I feel that I have been able to completely re-program and direct my sexual energy towards her, and it is wonderful for both of us. I don't know if any of this will be possible in your case, but this is what happened in mine.
My fiance wants to sleep with other women .. he says all men want to do hes.just.being honest.because he loves me and doesnt.want to lose me that he would never.put another women before me ..he just wants.to.have sex with some. Women sometimes.. we have been together for almost.three years.in july and we live together and have a 9 month old.child.what should I do .. and what does.this mean im not good enough any more ?
No, it means he wants to sleep with other women and by being "honest" with you, he wants you to think he is doing the honorable thing. Let him go - he will likely do it with or without your consent. You will save yourself a lot of misery.
Yeah I even caught my self say it would be ok if he did it only if I knew call me crazy ..but I have seen the light and I will not turn the blind eye with this ..he's kind of trying too rush too get married as well because he think that I will not leave him if we dobut little does he knew I will at this current time I am trying too do things on my own before I break it off with him ... but I continuously tell him if he ever was too cheat that would be it I can not live with some one cheats ...o yeah this is his favorite line all guys cheat. There is no such thing as a faithful guy
Cheating guys think all guys cheat. I'm not a man so IDK if they all want to cheat. Probably do want to sooner or later but some do not act on it. I wouldn't want to be with a man who has to act on those urges. But you have to decide for yourself. To me it just doesn't compute, things like open relationship are oxymoronic. If someone will not remain faithful to me what is there? I don't run around doing it with other people when Im with someone. Not trying to be judgemental, these are just my opinions of what I'm hoping to find. Faithful is on that list and I will be too. Unless you have an urge to sleep with others yourself and are going to act on this, the relationship will be unbalanced. I'm sorry you're in this position. Good luck.
There are some men out there that will never be satisfied with just having sex with one woman. Who is to say if that is normal or not.
It's normal if the other party in the relationship (you) feel that is ok. Then it's ok. Usually called "Swingers" where people have sex with multiple people while in a relationship.
But reading your other comments I gather it is not ok with you. Let me say this, he won't be sexually satisfied with JUST you, he eventually WILL have sex with other women. He will not change because you want him to change.
You have a child together, that doesn't mean you should stay together. Both people need to be happy and satisfied to have a successful, long lasting partnership. Best thing you could do is split but keep a "parent" relationship going for your child. And don't have sex again once you split up as that is giving your power away.
Remember this. It is true. Don't waste your time. (if you split up)
My fiance wants to sleep with other women .. he says all men want to do hes.just.being honest.because he loves me and doesnt.want to lose me that he would never.put another women before me ..he just wants.to.have sex with some. Women sometimes.. we have been together for almost.three years.in july and we live together and have a 9 month old.child.what should I do .. and what does.this mean im not good enough any more ?
This is very easy. You need to ask yourself one simple question: Do I love myself? And, If you do, you will not put up with this type of blatant disrespect. By staying with him, you are giving him permission to not only disrespect you, but also other women. Don't stay, leave him immediately and concentrate on you and your child. Go back to school, create hobbies, learn a trade, anything to keep your mind occupied and be a better person for your family and society. You do not need a guy who does not realize he is lucky to have you in his life, so say your goodbyes and leave. And please, do not get caught up in a cyclical game of breaking up and getting back together, etc. Cut the ties once and for all. You will soon notice that once you start focusing on you, you will discover many things that need improvement and you will eventually attract a truly classy and respectful guy. All the best!
[quote=Chowhound;29753961].... I'm tired of these bozo men who think its some kind of macho thing to father a bunch of kids with separate women...quote]
Why do you just blame these bozo men? How about the bozo women who allow this to happen by sleeping with them? Remember, it is these bozo women who are sleeping with men that they should not even be touching with a 10-foot pole! Are the men really to blame?
My fiance wants to sleep with other women .. he says all men want to do hes.just.being honest.because he loves me and doesnt.want to lose me that he would never.put another women before me ..he just wants.to.have sex with some. Women sometimes.. we have been together for almost.three years.in july and we live together and have a 9 month old.child.what should I do .. and what does.this mean im not good enough any more ?
Yes, all men want to sleep with other women. That's a fact. However, plenty of men resist the urge to do so because it would hurt their SO's feelings.
Your fiance wants credit for being honest Well, he should have been honest before you had spent three years with him and had a child together! Telling you this now, after you are so deeply involved, is manipulative. He knows that you are less likely to leave now because you have so much invested in the relationship.
Frankly, this guy sounds like a rat. Despite his claims of honesty, I'd bet real money he's already been sleeping with other women behind your back for some time. I'd kick him to the curb and make sure he pays child support. However, if you want to stay with him, be honest right back. Say that you cannot accept his terms. See how he responds. Best of luck.
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