Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have been "seeing" a particular young woman for over a year now. We met at my university where I am a grad student in physics, she was also a student in a similar discipline, just graduated. We worked together also. Let me explain what I mean by "seeing" because I do not really know how to classify it. After working together and having classes with each-other, and after some bit of reluctance on her part some time over a year ago we had our first non-date, at a nice restaurant, it could have been viewed as a date by western standards, but I do not know how she viewed it. After that over the course of the last year we have been out to eat over 20 times, spent whole days together at the museum, studied together late into the evening, and of course chat online, and email quite a bit, for all of this no one else was present. I used to walk her home a lot and we would go shopping when she needed groceries. Now that said we have never kissed, I have held her hand only for a few seconds, and put my arm around her only a few times, she has pinched my cheeks and pinches me on the arm when she feels saucey with something I have said. She also throws little tantrums when things bother her. She has said one time that she thinks I am handsome, and that she does like me, though in what context I am not sure, she also said one time that she would miss me when she leaves our university, however she has also said that because we are foreigners to each-other, she is from a country in Asia, that we will probably not be together. She has told me in general that she is not looking for a temporary relationship for a few months or years even but only interested in one for the rest of her life. She has also said I should forget about her, but I refuse to do so. She knows I am interested in her, but I still can not tell if she is fond of me beyond our friendship, she is hard to read. I know she trusts me, and think she would not spend so much time with me if she did not care, but I just wanted to put this out there to see if anyone else has ever had a similar situation.
There's only one way to know how deeply she cares for you: ask her. Is there any chance you two might be able to make a future together somewhere? In her country or yours? Maybe she's being guarded with her feelings so as not to get hurt when she has to go home. You should discuss it. There's nothing to lose by doing so.
I feel I am moving slowly, because that is what she is open to. I have had the conversation about what future there might be for us, but she seems to give vague answers like "there's always a chance" she will push me away, but then later be very warm and receptive. I guess I should just continue to talk with her about it. She is not going home yet just to a different graduate school, on the other side of the country. thanks
You're friend zoned, you have a low chance of being with this girl. If you want to get anywhere with her, do not talk to her. Make a move and kiss her, if she backs away or doesn't like it then give up.
You've been out 20 times, never even kissed? She's using you right now. Open your eyes
You're friend zoned, you have a low chance of being with this girl. If you want to get anywhere with her, do not talk to her. Make a move and kiss her, if she backs away or doesn't like it then give up.
You've been out 20 times, never even kissed? She's using you right now. Open your eyes
+1 This. She's not your friend in the true sense of the word, she is certainly not your girlfriend either. You are there for convienance only. Let me guess, you also pay for those get togethers? If so, not only do you have zero chance, you are also being used.
I think you should ask her. When I was younger I had a similar relationship. If I had known he was sort of in love with me...who knows? I didn't know till long years later when it was too late to talk about it.
I guess I should have expected the responses I have received. However, I do not feel that I am being used, as she has paid for outings and dinner's as much as I have. Monetarily we are in this equally. I do think I have conveyed to her that I do like her. Also, and I know this for a fact, because I know her and some of her family members, that this is the closest to a romantic boy-girl relationship that either of us has ever had. That said I do not feel used, nor do I think rushing is the right course of action, so I guess I could have answered my own questions, and will continue to delicately tell her how I feel. Thank you
Sack up, and tell her you like her romantically and want to date her. Don't dance around it, be straight forward, and tell her being "friends" with her feels like its teasing you. That's if you seriously see her as marriage material, if you don't, don't waste her time and break her heart.
I guess I should have expected the responses I have received. However, I do not feel that I am being used, as she has paid for outings and dinner's as much as I have. Monetarily we are in this equally. I do think I have conveyed to her that I do like her. Also, and I know this for a fact, because I know her and some of her family members, that this is the closest to a romantic boy-girl relationship that either of us has ever had. That said I do not feel used, nor do I think rushing is the right course of action, so I guess I could have answered my own questions, and will continue to delicately tell her how I feel. Thank you
You're not being used financially, you're being used emotionally.
To her credit, she's been forthright about her own cultural paradigms and expectations. That said, she likes the attention. She going to stand there and watch you slam the door on your own johnson for as long as you keep slamming---metaphorically speaking, of course.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
