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There is nothing wrong with you. You simply deflated the "larger than life" perception she had about you and she did not like that.
See for yourself:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookalike
....we talked a lot and i could tell she was really into me. She was almost nervous to call and talk she liked me so much. She would say things like : you must talk to lots of girls, im just one of them" or "im bothering you i know it" and things like that.
Translation: She thought you were hot, other women were clamoring for you, and she would be lucky to get just a crumb of your attention. Her expectations were very, very low. So what did you do? You made her believe she was wrong:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookalike
Well, i did my best to show her that i really cared about her and only her. That ended up being the kiss of death because she lost almost all interest. The few times we met in person I wouldnt make a move on her physically because Im too respectful and shy. I wanted her to know i wasnt trying to push her into being physical. I know now that it had the opposite effect and made her not like me anymore.
"only her?" You *never* let a woman (especially not an insecure one like this girl was) feel she has your complete adoration and attention -- no matter how much she begs for it. Look to your own experience as proof. As you said, it was the kiss of death.
Not making a move on her was respectful? Women expect and want you to make a move on them to "prove" their attractiveness. (Honest women will admit to wearing their best underwear on initial dates... in case the man proves it too convincingly. )
The respect issue does not arise from making a move on her but rather in how you do it, i.e., you can be smooth, refined and respectful in your approach or clumsy, coarse and rude.
You understand what you did wrong. Next time (and there will be a next time since I bet she is not the only woman head over heels for you but too scared to reveal it) be mindful of women's expectations and satisfy them *based on what she shows you* and not on how you think things should instead be.
Oh dude, you made about every wrong move you could have and lost her because of it. Learn something from it. If youve had suicidal thoughts, you need to seek help now, this is not a game.
Oh dude, you made about every wrong move you could have and lost her because of it. Learn something from it. If youve had suicidal thoughts, you need to seek help now, this is not a game.
It actually is a game, just one that has very serious consequences if you loose.
Seriously, your life is not over. I'm sure it feels awful right now and it's always a huge let down when someone you really like doesn't return it and even more so when you know they find someone else. And by the way, your brother is a douchecanoe. Just because his life sucks in his 30s doesn't mean yours will too. My 30s rocked and just about everyone I know had much more fun in their 30s than 20s. You are way too young to feel like you're never going to meet another person and have that feeling again.
First and foremost you need to stop following the tweets and fb posts and all that crap. You're just punishing yourself and wallowing in self-pity. If you want some closure send her a note saying bye and best of luck and move on with your life. I'm a firm believer in if it was meant to be it would be and if it isn't then get over it and go on to the next thing and learn from the experience. Find another place to meet people, online or in person. If you're nice looking and successful you really shouldn't have trouble finding another person to spend your time with and to get close to. Things WILL get better, trust me.
I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for all the help. Its really is a comfort to read all the insight form everyone. Ive decided to get on some pills for a time until I breakthrough this feeling of despair. I'll be back to to give an update. Hope everyone stays well. thanks again..
I just wanted to take a moment and thank everyone for all the help. Its really is a comfort to read all the insight form everyone. Ive decided to get on some pills for a time until I breakthrough this feeling of despair. I'll be back to to give an update. Hope everyone stays well. thanks again..
YOU stay well
We want to hear back from you ok??
You can get through this! Honestly, the best years of my life have been the ones since I turned 40.
27 is YOUNG YOUNG and you have so much you could really be looking forward to
You need to be on antidepressants. I do not understand the excuse of "you hate pills." If you had heart disease would you refuse medication that would keep you alive?
Listen OP, depression is a disease that KILLS PEOPLE and there are treatments that help. Having just lost someone very close to me to suicide, let me tell you it is not something you want to ignore or brush off.
Trust me, this is serious ****.
ETA, glad the OP is getting help. That is a relief.
It seems like you're quite depressed. I'm not thrilled with your talk and thoughts of suicide. I agree with others who suggest you should seek professional counseling as well as a consult regarding medication for possible depression.
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Things will get better
