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I think a marriage will last longer if the woman loves the man more for the simple fact that men hate divorce. That doesn't mean it'll be a happy marriage though.
I think if the woman loves him more, he is more likely to take it for granted and justify going outside of the marriage. Men may hate divorce more, but that won't stop them from straying. Since her love is so abundant, he is more likely to think he can get away with it.
Are you familiar with the concept of hypergamy? I think that to say that women have more options is inaccurate. Women simply tend to be choosier partly because of heightened sense of self worth, which often is surreal. An OKC study that has been used on CDR before, which showed that women found 80% of men in the study below average in the looks department. If you take the time to think about it, it holds all of the answers to these topics. Women simply want only the best of men (top15-20%), because they feel that is what they deserve, and they are less likely to care if one of these men is with other women at the same time. That leaves a huge chunk of male population (80-85%) having a hard time in the dating world, because they are all but ignored. Higher school of flying brought to you once again, by ascension.
Women are choosy from a biologically standpoint as well, to ensure that her offspring is competitive in terms of popularity and survival relative to that of other people's offspring. She also wants to ensure that she and her family is taken care of, and that's more likely with a male who is popular and "in demand". Additionally, studies show that good looking people are perceived more favorably than "uglier" people.
80% of the male population may have a harder time in the dating world, but they are more likely to have a stable relationship when they find one. Popularity and beauty only means you have to go through that much more "fluff" before you find somebody worthwhile.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Actually, this "misinformation" is probably based on the principal some learned and misunderstood in Sociology 101 which states...
The person with the least amount of interest in a relationship holds the most amount of power.
It's not a principal that was meant to necessarily apply to loving romantic relationships, but like I said, some have taken a kernel of info and liberally applied it to suit their needs.
True love between adults isn't about power at all.
I agree...I hear a lot about power dynamics in relationships. Shouldn't love just be about liking and caring for one another?
How does one measure how much one loves another anyway? Do you love your spouse, your child or your sibling, parent more? Why the need to play favourites? You should both love each other to want to spend the rest of your lives together, if you're married, it's not complicated. Cheating doesn't always imply a lack of love, either, not that that's an excuse for it.
I wonder if it's related to another saying I've heard: a woman should select a husband who is a little less attractive than herself, as he will be unlikely to do better and will be less likely to stray. He's likely to love her more than she loves him, in this scenario.
And yes, it's disturbing, because not only does it make for an unbalanced relationship, it reduces the true complexity of relationships to one-dimensional stupidity.
On the other hand, there's also the saying - and song - that says: To live a happy life, marry an ugly wife.
Contradictory guidelines, so they can't both be right! Maybe neither are?
They actually did a study about it a few years ago, the latter being wrong(marry a ugly wife) that if women want a successful marriage/relationship they should get somebody less attractive than themselves. The theroy is that if a man has a beautiful wife he's more willing to work at the marriage/relationship as opposed to a guy who is more attractive than his wife. The more attractive man will be resentful of the woman, becuae he will always think that he could have done better, and he becomes bitter and the relationship becomes toxic.
"The [less attractive] husbands seemed to be basically more committed, more invested in pleasing their wives when they felt that they were getting a pretty good deal. "
"When studying the opposite occurrence — attractive men who had married less attractive women — the researchers found that the husbands were less satisfied in their marriages, and less helpful in the interactions with their wives. They were basically saying, ‘Huh, looks like I settled a little bit,"
They actually did a study about it a few years ago, the latter being wrong(marry a ugly wife) that if women want a successful marriage/relationship they should get somebody less attractive than themselves. The theroy is that if a man has a beautiful wife he's more willing to work at the marriage/relationship as opposed to a guy who is more attractive than his wife. The more attractive man will be resentful of the woman, becuae he will always think that he could have done better, and he becomes bitter and the relationship becomes toxic.
"The [less attractive] husbands seemed to be basically more committed, more invested in pleasing their wives when they felt that they were getting a pretty good deal. "
"When studying the opposite occurrence — attractive men who had married less attractive women — the researchers found that the husbands were less satisfied in their marriages, and less helpful in the interactions with their wives. They were basically saying, ‘Huh, looks like I settled a little bit,"
Actually, this "misinformation" is probably based on the principal some learned and misunderstood in Sociology 101 which states...
The person with the least amount of interest in a relationship holds the most amount of power.
It's not a principal that was meant to necessarily apply to loving romantic relationships, but like I said, some have taken a kernel of info and liberally applied it to suit their needs.
True love between adults isn't about power at all.
I feel like should read: The person with the least amount of interest in a relationship holds the most amount of power, if the person who has the most interest also has low self-esteem.
...because if I like someone and they don't like me back, I lose interest in them quickly. Only someone in denial or who doesn't think they can do better would hold onto someone who doesn't like them back.
I wonder if it's related to another saying I've heard: a woman should select a husband who is a little less attractive than herself, as he will be unlikely to do better and will be less likely to stray. He's likely to love her more than she loves him, in this scenario.
And yes, it's disturbing, because not only does it make for an unbalanced relationship, it reduces the true complexity of relationships to one-dimensional stupidity.
On the other hand, there's also the saying - and song - that says: To live a happy life, marry an ugly wife.
Contradictory guidelines, so they can't both be right! Maybe neither are?
The modern day version of this quote is: To live a happy life, don't get married.
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