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A Christian who doesn't think you are going to hell because you are not saved is really NOT a Christian. I mean, it's right there in the bible. A person cannot just make up their own personal Christian beliefs.
And my husband can pray for me. He just knows better than to tell me about it.
A person's religious views are like the bedrock of their value system.
I personally couldn't date a guy who's Christian although I do follow the 10 commandments having been raised Catholic. But, I wouldn't date anyone who's religious.
Holding onto religious values is one thing, because it defines a set of values and standards a person lives by.
On the other hand, simply following a religious doctrine and having two people on opposite poles unite, they will ultimately clash in terms of how to raise a child, what kind of philosophy you would want to introduce in a relationship..
Religion can dictate so much of how a couple works. Because religion can also be the tying element for some couples verses not others. Think of the Duggers with Xnth Kids in Counting.. they're both happily married and very religious and it works for them! But imagine an atheist marrying one of their daughters.. I can already see stonewalling happening and two people sitting on opposite sides of the couch, lookin all disgruntled and mad.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
I'm so surprised to see all these people saying 'no'.
If she is the type of christian who respects other people's beliefs, and doesn't think you are going to h*ll because you are not 'saved', and if you are the type of atheist who respects other people's beliefs, and doesn't think she is stupid or has been brainwashed by a cult, then you two will be fine.
If she's fundamentalist it's likely she does think you are hell-bound. That's just what they are taught.
As for the OP, I'm assuming you two haven't discussed religion yet? She probably won't go any further once she knows you're a staunch atheist. I don't see much point pursuing the RS, lots of issues down the path.
As has been said, it depends on how convicted her beliefs are, and what specific doctrines they are based on.
A true fundamentalist is not going to marry an athiest in the first place. "Don't become unequally yoked" is the bible's command in this regard to the Christian. The bible further will encourage someone married to a non-Christian to bring them to God/Jesus, which could lead to intolerance of your belief, nagging, etc. Also, as R-H mentioned, a true fundamentalist will likely believe your eternal sole is condemned to burn in a lake of fire for not believing in Christ saving you from sin.
Of course, this fundamentalist Christian is at one end of an extreme, with a million shades of grey in between. I know "Christians" who go to church weekly but don't interpret or believe in specific doctrines, practices, etc. I know people who even believe they are Christian but feel Christ was only a "devinely inspired" figure and not God on earth (they basically do not believe in the trinity Godhead).
Whether this relationship could or would work is very highly dependent on the beliefs, conviction, nature, personality, etc, of the individuals considering the relationship. It is so highly personable.
I do think, if the views are very strong between the two of you, it could be a big obstacle to try to overcome.
Interesting responses to my dilemma. I told her that I was not religious.
I have friends who go to church regularly and believe in god pretty heavily but they don't believe premarital sex is a sin. I guess it depends how you are raised.
I know a couple who has been married for 35 years. He's been an atheist since he was around 12, and she is Catholic. They don't discuss or argue over it, but respect each other. He occasionally goes to church with her on holiday or when there is a family event, and he doesn't mock or criticize her beliefs, he just does not believe in them, but he loves his wife. Respect is the key.
Another issue is that while religious differences, including religions that are at fundamental odds with each other like Judaism and Christianity, might be merrily ignored during dating and early marriage phases, but raise their ugly heads when it comes time to raise children and one or both parents wants to rear the kids with THEIR beliefs.
That's your belief, and most people of faith would think that's ridiculous. That's why I said it wouldn't work long term with a non believer.
As a person of faith, NilaJones, I don't think it's ridiculous in the slightest, FWIW. But I am in no way, shape, or form a fundamentalist or evangelical.
Of course it can work, until the inevitable divorce that always happens no matter what. I've know a lot of cases where people ended up divorced but it had nothing to do with religion.
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