U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:01 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,352,353 times
Reputation: 11862

Advertisements

This is what I sometimes tell myself. I've never been a 'chaser', maybe that doesn't make me an alpha male, but I'm also not the type to try to convince a girl or woo her if she seems unwilling. Not that I've tried it and failed I've just never tried it. Do you think it's possible to woo someone who starts out having zero attraction for you with your personality.etc? Or does there always have to be some initial attraction?

My thinking is that, if I meet someone who seems attractive enough (overall not just physically) and she happens to fancy me, things will happen and she'll be much more interested in me anyway. Maybe I'll be waiting for awhile, but do you think I can afford to do this, or that as a male I must be actively pursuing?

Also, how can one develop affection, even the shallow kind, between two people? I could try to be like friends, but there's the danger of becoming platonic friends and 'friend-zoned.' Or maybe the FZ doesn't really exist and any friend is a potential romantic interest. Is there a certain way you flirt, without being overt that you like someone, where you can develop the attraction in a woman?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:05 AM
 
12,119 posts, read 9,873,153 times
Reputation: 15767
You CAN'T "convince" someone to like you. And ew, I get the heebie jeebies just thinking about the attempt.

Do YOU like you?

ALL the posters who are on here talking about their failure to attract someone. The fact that you are looking so freaking desperately is probably what is making people think that you are.... well, desperate.

Go do some living. Canoe. Snowboard. Dance. Take up singing. Whatever. Get busy living and boom you turn around and there is someone who likes the same things you do. And you won't even notice if she is an "8" or if he is an "alpha". Ini fact, at that time, the notion will be preposterous.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 3,860,344 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
'It's better to wait for someone who wants you, than to try to make someone want you'
I agree with this, except I would change "wait for" to "find."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,675 posts, read 44,269,795 times
Reputation: 24995
Aaaaah you are over thinking it. Yeah don't go looking for love. It will never come that way! Talk communicate, be primal fling poo, strut your peacock feathers, but never lower your standards.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:08 AM
 
12,119 posts, read 9,873,153 times
Reputation: 15767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Aaaaah you are over thinking it. Yeah don't go looking for love. It will never come that way! Talk communicate, be primal fling poo, strut your peacock feathers, but never lower your standards.
What is a "standard"?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:10 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 45,352,353 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
I agree with this, except I would change "wait for" to "find."
Good point, putting yourself out there in those situations is 'pursuing' without actually pursuing. Just putting yourself in a situation where good things will come your way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,236 posts, read 20,081,203 times
Reputation: 12984
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth View Post
I agree with this, except I would change "wait for" to "find."
I agree with this.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,675 posts, read 44,269,795 times
Reputation: 24995
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
What is a "standard"?
Everyone has their own.

I look for: Someone that is respectful yet is funny
Ambition but not in annoying way. ( But I made all this money why should I pick up my underwear off the floor?)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
3,795 posts, read 3,860,344 times
Reputation: 3341
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Good point, putting yourself out there in those situations is 'pursuing' without actually pursuing. Just putting yourself in a situation where good things will come your way.
Exactly. "Wait for" makes it sound like you're sitting at home hoping the person falls in your lap. "Pursuing" sounds like trying too hard. The most effective strategy is somewhere in the middle, IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-29-2013, 10:24 AM
 
525 posts, read 711,788 times
Reputation: 635
I don't think you can convince a girl but I do think you can woo her and develop something if she has just a tiny bit of interest.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top