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Men on this forum often ask for advice about the correct way to "approach" women. Most seem to think their lack of success is rooted in their lack of an effective technique.
But I doubt this is usually the case.
It seems that most men who want this kind of advice often try to "approach" women in circumstances where such behavior is totally inappropriate. They expect to be able too successfully "approach" women who are total strangers to them in grocery stores, in laundromats, at bus stops, etc. I'm sorry, but these are just not places where women typically expect, or desire, random men to hit on them. An "approach" from a stranger that might be perfectly acceptable at a bar or nightclub is likely to seem downright creepy if it happens at the UPS store.
I'm sorry, but a man who thinks it is okay to hit on random women anywhere and everywhere is just not very well socialized.
I think the bigger issue is that many of these guys are looking for one universal trick that will work on all women, which doesn't exist. One woman might find a sincere approach at the UPS Store to be charming, another woman could find it aggressive and off-putting. It doesn't mean that women don't know what they want, it's that different women want different things.
I think the bigger issue is that many of these guys are looking for one universal trick that will work on all women, which doesn't exist. One woman might find a sincere approach at the UPS Store to be charming, another woman could find it aggressive and off-putting. It doesn't mean that women don't know what they want, it's that different women want different things.
What the heck is this approach concept? You slowly move closer to your quarry, or the radioactive matter, or the alien being, or to the scary, scary female -- what the heck? You guys are just wusses. If you're too baffled and intimidated to figure out how to do whatever it is you're trying to do, we probably don't want you to do it. Go away.
Or if you just stay out of bars and stop thinking of women as objects and more like the people who have surrounded you all of your life, -- you know in school, on the playground, in the grocery store: people who look and act a lot like your mom, your aunt, and your sister -- boy, you have devolved into a bunch of baby nothings.
Most women like to talk to men. It's not magic. If she likes you, she'll be nice and probably smile. If she doesn't, what's gonna happen? Boo. Run home.
I think the bigger issue is that many of these guys are looking for one universal trick that will work on all women, which doesn't exist. One woman might find a sincere approach at the UPS Store to be charming, another woman could find it aggressive and off-putting. It doesn't mean that women don't know what they want, it's that different women want different things.
This.
Women are not interchangeable. There is no magic formula or equation.
I think the bigger issue is that many of these guys are looking for one universal trick that will work on all women, which doesn't exist. One woman might find a sincere approach at the UPS Store to be charming, another woman could find it aggressive and off-putting. It doesn't mean that women don't know what they want, it's that different women want different things.
This is the absolute truth.
Well, that and many people don't know how to read body language, and are too caught up in what they're thinking to care about the impression they create for another. Perception is everything when it comes to meeting others.
Well, that and many people don't know how to read body language, and are too caught up in what they're thinking to care about the impression they create for another. Perception is everything when it comes to meeting others.
Yes!
Sometimes I think that there ought to be a required class in reading body language, in high school. (And not just from a dating/romantic perspective. It's also useful to read body language to be able to tell if it's a good time to ask your boss for something, if a customer is starting to get upset, etc.)
Sometimes I think that there ought to be a required class in reading body language, in high school. (And not just from a dating/romantic perspective. It's also useful to read body language to be able to tell if it's a good time to ask your boss for something, if a customer is starting to get upset, etc.)
No kidding! I don't know how many times I've told my coworker to leave the boss alone, he's in a mood (he's VERY hormonal), and to wait for him to approach her when he's in a more upbeat mood. Nope, she goes charging in like a bull in a china shop, and wonders why it ends poorly. When he's pissed off is not the time to ask him for vacation days.
And body language and tone are what's so easily lost in online dating, or even in regular dating, when you reduce communications to text only. When you can't hear or see a person, you're often limited to assumptions about their words and intentions, and we know what happens when you assume...
Women are not interchangeable. There is no magic formula or equation.
Yep, which is why I always bristle when the forum ladies' men come out with the "do this, chicks will love it" advice, which is always recommending something that would make me want to slap a guy (not that I would. Violence is not the answer. ) Sure, certain things appeal to certain women, but those same acts or lines will leave many others cold.
I think the bigger issue is that many of these guys are looking for one universal trick that will work on all women, which doesn't exist. One woman might find a sincere approach at the UPS Store to be charming, another woman could find it aggressive and off-putting. It doesn't mean that women don't know what they want, it's that different women want different things.
This is true but I also think men tend to scare themselves. They may feel that no matter the approach they will get shot down and/or laughed at. I think a lot of guys try and go over the top and be who they think the woman wants them to be and end up looking stupid. Its really a case by case basis and should be treated as such.
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) Sure, certain things appeal to certain women, but those same acts or lines will leave many others cold.