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Old 06-02-2013, 11:38 AM
 
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I'd guess all these situations are different. Is a person who acts like this with a partner for a few years not a good prospect for a relationship or is it just one partner doesn't like the other partner enough to really commit? Please share your stories and conclusions. Is it "commitment phobia" or "just haven't found the right person"?
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:40 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Acts like what? What do you mean by "on again, off again", exactly?
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:43 AM
 
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Acts in such a way that the relationship is breaking up and getting back together more than two times. Sometimes the couple is committed to each other , then they break up , then a few months or a few weeks passes and they are re committed to each other again. WHY in your experience and stories you've heard does this happen? Not liking the partner enough or not liking commitment enough?
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Old 06-02-2013, 01:14 PM
 
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I had this with my ex SO after about 6 months. She seemed to like the drama of breaking up and then reconciling. Maybe she wanted to see how invested I was. Each one lasted a day or so. About a year in she broke up for 10 days then we reconciled. It was pretty much always me doing the reaching out. She finally broke up for good about 2 1/2 years in. A lot of issues there and I should have seen the thing wasn't long lasting from the get go. But love is blind. ha.
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Old 06-02-2013, 01:37 PM
 
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that's kind of the conclusion I'm drawing, if it's on and off, something is wrong. It's just a question is something wrong with one of the partners , as in they just can't commit or something wrong with the person they keep going back to- as in that's just not the person for them? The it's not you it's me thing. (which means it's you, it's definitely you lol, otherwise I'd cure my commitment phobia immediately.)
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Old 06-02-2013, 04:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
that's kind of the conclusion I'm drawing, if it's on and off, something is wrong. It's just a question is something wrong with one of the partners , as in they just can't commit or something wrong with the person they keep going back to- as in that's just not the person for them? The it's not you it's me thing. (which means it's you, it's definitely you lol, otherwise I'd cure my commitment phobia immediately.)
You're drawing the correct conclusion LWS. In my case it just took a long time for me to realize that the on and off thing is really not healthy ... in fact just bringing up "breaking up" as a tactic to get something is toxic. My ex was a lovely person in many but her way of dealing with disagreements was to break up - no middle ground, no discussion.
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Old 06-02-2013, 06:01 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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on and off relationships is indicative of two immature individuals. these drama driven relationships are tumultuous; its a vicious cycle thats difficult to break.
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Old 06-05-2013, 02:27 PM
 
Location: NYC
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Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
Not liking the partner enough or not liking commitment enough?
Aren't these really the same thing? Why would you have problems committing to someone you like enough?
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Old 06-05-2013, 05:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Adhom View Post
Aren't these really the same thing? Why would you have problems committing to someone you like enough?
That's my point. It always comes back to there is no such thing as commitment phobia. Sometimes people just don't like you enough to commit.
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Old 06-05-2013, 10:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lastwomanstanding View Post
That's my point. It always comes back to there is no such thing as commitment phobia. Sometimes people just don't like you enough to commit.
Someone can like their partner but because of past breakups they may avoid commitment.
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