Advice Needed: Is my girlfriend suffering from past abuse... is she a lesbian... or is this normal? (girlfriends, man)
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Let's look at the situation from a different angle: are you a good lover?
Do you make sure she is satisfied every time? Or do you fall asleep 2 minutes after?
She may have had certain sexual expectations for you and have tried in the beginning, but her hopes never materialized, so sex became "work" and not a pleasure. Why kiss? You'll get excited and will want sex, and she'll have to work and fake only to be left aroused and unsatisfied at the end.
Just a thought
And yet another angle is that she 1) never loved you or 2) fell out of love/crush with you and no longer interested in an intimate relationship, she just wants to be friends, your relationship changed.
Let's look at the situation from a different angle: are you a good lover?
Do you make sure she is satisfied every time? Or do you fall asleep 2 minutes after?
She may have had certain sexual expectations for you and have tried in the beginning, but her hopes never materialized, so sex became "work" and not a pleasure. Why kiss? You'll get excited and will want sex, and she'll have to work and fake only to be left aroused and unsatisfied at the end.
Just a thought
And yet another angle is that she 1) never loved you or 2) fell out of love/crush with you and no longer interested in an intimate relationship, she just wants to be friends, your relationship changed.
How is your communication with each other?
Communication is not there like it has been in normal relationships but according to her we communicate on a level that she hasn't with any of her past boyfriends. I'm not going to say I'm the perfect guy in bed, but I give attention to her and try to make it about her every time. I adore this girl physically and to just hump and then push her to the side isn't what I'm about. And as far as your kissing comment, it doesn't make sense to me because the rare times when she is the aggressor she doesn't kiss, she just grabs my junk.. haha
She isn't open at all about sex and feels uncomfortable talking about it. I'll tease and joke with her about sexual things and she will just blush. From the onset she told me she doesn't really have any sexual fantasies, doesn't have a favorite position, and doesn't like talking about her past sexual history, even remotely...
You're other theories are all valid tho. It isn't about love, however. We never use that word, but whenever I try to keep my distance she will verbally tell me she wants to continue dating, she thinks that what we have actually means something, and if she ever does anything to suggest otherwise it's because she "sucks at dating".
Even though I want advice, trying to explain this to people is too much work. I have so much fun with this girl but trying to explain the oddity that is this relationship is putting things in perspective and making me want to just end it.
Communication is not there like it has been in normal relationships but according to her we communicate on a level that she hasn't with any of her past boyfriends. I'm not going to say I'm the perfect guy in bed, but I give attention to her and try to make it about her every time. I adore this girl physically and to just hump and then push her to the side isn't what I'm about. And as far as your kissing comment, it doesn't make sense to me because the rare times when she is the aggressor she doesn't kiss, she just grabs my junk.. haha
She isn't open at all about sex and feels uncomfortable talking about it. I'll tease and joke with her about sexual things and she will just blush. From the onset she told me she doesn't really have any sexual fantasies, doesn't have a favorite position, and doesn't like talking about her past sexual history, even remotely...
You're other theories are all valid tho. It isn't about love, however. We never use that word, but whenever I try to keep my distance she will verbally tell me she wants to continue dating, she thinks that what we have actually means something, and if she ever does anything to suggest otherwise it's because she "sucks at dating".
Even though I want advice, trying to explain this to people is too much work. I have so much fun with this girl but trying to explain the oddity that is this relationship is putting things in perspective and making me want to just end it.
I totally get that. If it is not working for you...what's the point? A relationship has to move forward or it eventually dies.
haha.. this is getting personal on my end now! I've never had a problem causing a woman to orgasm before in my life but with her she says she has never experienced one before. This is why I make every time about her... it's something I feel horrible about but she says she just can't.
so she has a few fruit-loops,, so what?? no ones perfect, if she cooks for you, latches on to you,,and you really enjoy being with her,,,then have some patience,,
maybe she's never had a man to help her work thru her issues..
we've all been in failed relationships...its very painful.....we often bury the pain, hurt, shame,,,rather than dealing with it,,,and when we go into another relationship,,and the feelings are growing,,,sometimes it unleashes the pain we buried, and surfaces alot of old baggage.. hurt feelings..
if a dog gets beat on by one owner,,,,it takes some time for the dog to trust again, with another owner....
people are the same way with relationships,,,it takes a while to build that trust..
haha.. this is getting personal on my end now! I've never had a problem causing a woman to orgasm before in my life but with her she says she has never experienced one before. This is why I make every time about her... it's something I feel horrible about but she says she just can't.
Ah. Yes, there are a lot of men like that, too, who can't orgasm.
And I could see how it could interfere with bonding a couple, and make both of you uncertain about things.
Some people who are anorgasmic can learn to, other's can't. Have you tried books designed to teach her, a vibrator, stuff like that?
Ah. Yes, there are a lot of men like that, too, who can't orgasm.
And I could see how it could interfere with bonding a couple, and make both of you uncertain about things.
Some people who are anorgasmic can learn to, other's can't. Have you tried books designed to teach her, a vibrator, stuff like that?
Like I said, she is incredibly shy and bashful and feels uncomfortable talking about sex. If I ever bring up things like that she doesn't give any input and never has.
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