At What Point Does Calling Someone "My Fiance" Become Joke Rather Than An Honest Description... (married, woman)

[RogersParkGuy]

I always thought calling someone "my fiance" implied that you had agreed to get married, and that the wedding would take place within a fairly short amount of time--maybe a year or two.

However, I keep running into people who have been "engaged" for 5, 6, even 7 or more years. Some even have kids.

I am not questioning people's right to conduct their relationships as they choose. But at what point does calling someone "my fiance" begin to raise eyebrows?

[houstan-dan]

A fiance is when you propose and put a ring on their finger IMO... After that, it can take however long.

[lastwomanstanding]

I think the OP has a point. Get married already. 5+ years ??? Plus it is a joke when you claim to have a fiancée and act like a player. (not trying to state the obvious here) Fiancee implies serious commitment, so live it don't just throw around a word.

[srjth]

More than a year.

[bellakin123]

Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy

I always thought calling someone "my fiance" implied that you had agreed to get married, and that the wedding would take place within a fairly short amount of time--maybe a year or two.

However, I keep running into people who have been "engaged" for 5, 6, even 7 or more years. Some even have kids.

I am not questioning people's right to conduct their relationships as they choose. But at what point does calling someone "my fiance" begin to raise eyebrows?

I think you have a good point. I knew a few people who were engaged for over 10 years. Some had children, some didn't. They lived together, bought homes, made lives together but married such a long time after they got engaged.

[Sunnydee]

When it gets to be like Oprah and Steadman it's a joke.

[North Beach Person]

When he goes from "fiance" to "baby daddy". Then scoots on support, changes his phone number and claims in Court that he's homeless. Is happening to a friend.

[AverageGuy2006]

I wonder if people use fiancé in the OP more for social means...

Let's say you are living together for an extended time. And he hasn't' popped the question. Friends and family of the woman or man start asking questions. Eventually they start talking about their s/o as fiancé. This is probably due to societal expectations and pressures.
Thing is, most people don't realize that after a year or two, people that pressure others, start going:

Some people believe that getting married is what 'we are supposed to do'.

More than anything, the pressure of society has people calling each other fiancé, just to shut up the masses.

[strawberrykiki]

I wouldn't want to get engaged if I wasn't going to be married within a year afterwards. I definitely think it's weird to be engaged for 10 years, but whatever works I guess.

[JrzDefector]

Meh, my old boss got married after an engagement that lasted nearly a decade. She had been with the guy who is now her husband since she was 18 - she didn't see the need to formalize it. Plus they had two ginormous families who would expect the "full pageant" wedding, and she was dreading that. After around 15 or 20 years together, they decided to have children, so they got married.

The way I figure, you can call it whatever you want. It's no skin off my back how someone chooses to define their relationship.