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I agree 100%. Online dating makes everyone waaay too picky.
If "way too picky" means getting to choose from a pool of hundreds or thousands of high-quality potential partners rather than the pool 5 or 10 eligible women I meet at parties or work, I'll take way too picky any day. There's a reason the research also shows higher rates of marital satisfaction and lower rates of divorce for couples who met online. Being pickier means you're more likely to find a better match.
If "way too picky" means getting to choose from a pool of hundreds or thousands of high-quality potential partners rather than the pool 5 or 10 eligible women I meet at parties or work, I'll take way too picky any day. There's a reason the research also shows higher rates of marital satisfaction and lower rates of divorce for couples who met online. Being pickier means you're more likely to find a better match.
Heres the thing: women who online date are usually pretty average folk, but when they enter the online world they are in demand and thus can start to command a whole lot more than they would offline. They are constantly bombarded by dudes wanting to see them that they start to think they are a lot better than they really are. So now you have an average or below average woman who thinks she is above average and starts becoming way picky. All of a sudden she's commanding Mr. Perfect when she isnt even that great.
Online dating is a weird concept. It takes away a lot of the fun of initially meeting someone and feeling that spark. Its very contrived and as I mentioned here, really can inflate a woman (or man, I guess) ego to an unsustainable level.
So average and below average looking guys don't get responses, and great looking guys don't get responses. Hmm.
I guess that means that the millions of men who go on dates with women they met online and the hundreds of thousands of men who marry women they met online each year are all above-average-but-not-great looking?
Not buying it.
Most people who I know met online are below average.
Your 2 million number is presumably for the U.S. alone, which is a tiny portion of the world's population. Also, it's actually 1/3 of marriages now in the U.S. that begin online, not 1/4.
Of course, as you pointed out, not all of them met on dating websites, but worldwide it wouldn't have to be a very high percentage for it to number in the hundreds of thousands.
I shall agree that people use online communication regularly in present world, and many even initiate first contact via online interaction. However, I'll never agree with those "studies" and online dating services because they are often either officially or unofficially funded by those people who want to promote online dating services in general. Many of such studies are done by dating sites themselves and then they pay news press to promote it as well.
Most people will rather meet a stranger and start dating them (or even marry them) by having a common interest and having a relaxed talk over time, than they'll find them by searching through thousands of people on online dating services where people try to give a different light. I can argue this any time, any day. I don't believe that i.e. 100,000 (or more) marriages in the last year were result of two individuals meeting each other via match.com, who did one of those surveys. My mind says - no way. Some people have figured out that study/research is the religion of the new age and bringing their study to confirm their idea is like having a reverent John citing the Bible to the religious folks. We can't argue against them unless any of us decides to make our own study... and start a "study war".
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth
If "way too picky" means getting to choose from a pool of hundreds or thousands of high-quality potential partners rather than the pool 5 or 10 eligible women I meet at parties or work, I'll take way too picky any day. There's a reason the research also shows higher rates of marital satisfaction and lower rates of divorce for couples who met online. Being pickier means you're more likely to find a better match.
I also won't agree with the part about being pickier and being more satisfied. People who THINK that they are compatible with only 1% of people on this world are flawed for any relationship, honestly. I hold my opinion that people who are LESS picky/demanding are generally be the ones who will find someone. Those will generally also be the ones who are compatible with the most personalities. Online dating could also help one of the rare situations in the previous pre-online dating - where both parties are shy/awkward in a way.
Heres the thing: women who online date are usually pretty average folk, but when they enter the online world they are in demand and thus can start to command a whole lot more than they would offline. They are constantly bombarded by dudes wanting to see them that they start to think they are a lot better than they really are. So now you have an average or below average woman who thinks she is above average and starts becoming way picky. All of a sudden she's commanding Mr. Perfect when she isnt even that great.
That hasn't been my experience at all. Sure, I've met a few women online who had an inflated sense of self, but the same goes for every other way I've met women, too. For the most part dating online I've met regular smart, attractive, fun, down-to-earth women, and way more of them (that's the key) than I ever would have had I not dated online.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ion_Exchange
Online dating is a weird concept. It takes away a lot of the fun of initially meeting someone and feeling that spark.
I disagree. I find dating women I meet online to be just as likely to be fun and have "sparks" as dating women I meet any other way.
Most people who I know met online are below average.
Well according to several male posters here (including the one I was responding to), below average guys have absolutely no hope of ever getting dates online, so I wonder how that happens.
If you are an average or below the average looking guy you will not get responses since your arsenal is limited, but what is worse is that if you are a great looking guy you are even less likely to get responses. Why? Because handsome studs make women vulnerable and unsure of themselves, in the worst case it freakes them out for there is a stigma attached to online dating and comming across a profile of Brad Pitt lookalike makes women question his real motives . . . 'what is he doing here, why is he not out there in the real world dating real women (more attractive than me - the insecurity)what is he hiding. . .' As freaky as these thoughts are we can't argue with their sheer logic - I mean why is this guy here! what is he after? Is he a psycho? Is he a weirdo? Is he looking for the one? Is he here for kicks? These are the thoughts that race through a woman's mind. So we have a catch 22 situation. Nobody is the winner, the only solution would be virtual 3D dating, and unfortunately this is where we are likely to end up unless we go back to our roots. My advice, by all means keep your options open, but don't go in with high expectations - remember the catch 22 and may the cupid be with you.
The post makes absolutely no sense. He's basically saying average and below average looking dudes won't get a response. And good looking guys will get less than no response at all.
The post makes absolutely no sense. He's basically saying average and below average looking dudes won't get a response. And good looking guys will get less than no response at all.
Which would mean the only people getting dates online are lesbian women.
I guess that means all the dates my average-guy friends and I have been on with women we've met online have just been hallucinations, along with all the heterosexual weddings I've been to of couples who met online. Who knew?
Last edited by nearnorth; 08-28-2013 at 01:06 PM..
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