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So, i have this acquiantance in facebook who is a guy i know from before, from when i was around 20 years old (im 30 now) and we participate in a movie discussion forum, i ve seen him once or twice alongside other members of the forum and we chatted some times back then. He thought i was pretty cause once he took a screenshot when we were chatting and then sent that pic to me. But that was all, never went out with him or anything, and years passed. Now, 10 years later, he ask me out through facebook, after he found out my LTR of 7 years ended.
Anyways, i have no romantic interest in the guy, and when he asked me out it was completely in a friendly manner, talking about movies, people we knew from there, etc. So i went. We went to the movies and to drink something afterwards and of course split the bill 50/50. We behave like friends, talked about our life, about books and movies, the guy not even once told me i looked good or pretty and didnt approach me in a weird way or anything, and then walk me to a street in where i got a taxi and that was it. Purely friendly.
He contacted me through facebook a couple of days later asking me if i wanted to go see other movie we ve been taking about that day, i said "sure". That weekend i couldnt make it, so we went out this saturday.
This time date was longer: again movie and the dinner (this time movie was earlier, so wa ate afterwards) and we split half and half everything. Then after eating we went to a bar, and then to a bar/party next to that one. Date was from 8pm till 2am, and i ended it cause i said i was too tired.
Anyways, again guy behaved as friends, didnt say one thing about my aspect, didnt try to casually touch me with his arm...nothing at all. In the second bar we went, we were just in front of my house (i took him there on purpouse so i could end the date when i want and go home, he wanted to go to a party far away), and the party we went afterwards was also right there: 2 blocks from my house. Again we split all half and half, drink beers, talk about things (books, movies). He never asked something personal and never said anything flirty AT ALL. But he wanted to continue the date: both dates i ended cause i was too tired. He seemed to wanna keep hanging out with me taking about books and stuff.
Im ok at this how it is, cause im not into him, theres actually another guy im casually dating im REALLY into, and when im really into someone, i guess its hard for me to like another person. In any case, im not attracted to him AT ALL, but think he is GREAT friend material. My question is: is it possible he thinks the same about me? I ve been told by some guy friend i have that if i go out with this guy on a saturday im giving him hopes, could this be true?? This guy hasnt show sexual interest in any shape or form, so i just assume he wants to be my friend. But a part of me says he is asking me out for something, he use to think i was beautiful, and maybe he is developing a crush on me? Maybe the crush on me is too strong so he is afraid of doing anything for not wanting to ruin it? Maybe he wants to became my friend and then all of the sudden make a move?? Believe me, he didnt try ANY move. I wanna think he is not interested in my like that, but im not sure.
What does people make of his behavior here?
Guys: what do u think? could he NOT be into me?
You two have similar interests and it looks like he just want to have a buddy. No romance involved. But... sometimes people who were once friends only, get closer as they learn about each other and find out that they actually like to be together, and are a good match.
So, i have this acquiantance in facebook who is a guy i know from before, from when i was around 20 years old (im 30 now) and we participate in a movie discussion forum, i ve seen him once or twice alongside other members of the forum and we chatted some times back then. He thought i was pretty cause once he took a screenshot when we were chatting and then sent that pic to me. But that was all, never went out with him or anything, and years passed. Now, 10 years later, he ask me out through facebook, after he found out my LTR of 7 years ended.
Anyways, i have no romantic interest in the guy, and when he asked me out it was completely in a friendly manner, talking about movies, people we knew from there, etc. So i went. We went to the movies and to drink something afterwards and of course split the bill 50/50. We behave like friends, talked about our life, about books and movies, the guy not even once told me i looked good or pretty and didnt approach me in a weird way or anything, and then walk me to a street in where i got a taxi and that was it. Purely friendly.
He contacted me through facebook a couple of days later asking me if i wanted to go see other movie we ve been taking about that day, i said "sure". That weekend i couldnt make it, so we went out this saturday.
This time date was longer: again movie and the dinner (this time movie was earlier, so wa ate afterwards) and we split half and half everything. Then after eating we went to a bar, and then to a bar/party next to that one. Date was from 8pm till 2am, and i ended it cause i said i was too tired.
Anyways, again guy behaved as friends, didnt say one thing about my aspect, didnt try to casually touch me with his arm...nothing at all. In the second bar we went, we were just in front of my house (i took him there on purpouse so i could end the date when i want and go home, he wanted to go to a party far away), and the party we went afterwards was also right there: 2 blocks from my house. Again we split all half and half, drink beers, talk about things (books, movies). He never asked something personal and never said anything flirty AT ALL. But he wanted to continue the date: both dates i ended cause i was too tired. He seemed to wanna keep hanging out with me taking about books and stuff.
Im ok at this how it is, cause im not into him, theres actually another guy im casually dating im REALLY into, and when im really into someone, i guess its hard for me to like another person. In any case, im not attracted to him AT ALL, but think he is GREAT friend material. My question is: is it possible he thinks the same about me? I ve been told by some guy friend i have that if i go out with this guy on a saturday im giving him hopes, could this be true?? This guy hasnt show sexual interest in any shape or form, so i just assume he wants to be my friend. But a part of me says he is asking me out for something, he use to think i was beautiful, and maybe he is developing a crush on me? Maybe the crush on me is too strong so he is afraid of doing anything for not wanting to ruin it? Maybe he wants to became my friend and then all of the sudden make a move?? Believe me, he didnt try ANY move. I wanna think he is not interested in my like that, but im not sure.
What does people make of his behavior here?
Guys: what do u think? could he NOT be into me?
Men almost never make a serious effort to befriend women unless they have a romantic and/or sexual motive. I mean, almost never. The chances this man is interested in more than friendship with you are about 99.9%. Eventually, he will make that clear.
Men almost never make a serious effort to befriend women unless they have a romantic and/or sexual motive. I mean, almost never. The chances this man is interested in more than friendship with you are about 99.9%. Eventually, he will make that clear.
Yes, this is what im afraid of and what other people have told me.
But, if he isnt making any move, we are splitting bills 50/50 and behaving strictly as friends.....is it wrong for me to go out with him when i have no romantic interest in him at all??
what would you think if you were in his shoes. would you think im interesed??
You two have similar interests and it looks like he just want to have a buddy. No romance involved. But... sometimes people who were once friends only, get closer as they learn about each other and find out that they actually like to be together, and are a good match.
I dont think i could be interested in him like that, though. I sorta believe that if theres not attraction since the beggining, its hard to force it. Experience told me that. And, on my part, i see nothing attractive in the guy.
Men almost never make a serious effort to befriend women unless they have a romantic and/or sexual motive. I mean, almost never. The chances this man is interested in more than friendship with you are about 99.9%. Eventually, he will make that clear.
I agree with this. He has invested a lot of time and effort, and his lack of physical contact may be nerves or him trying to be a gentleman.
The next time you chat or go out, bring up this other guy you are casually dating and mention how you are looking forward to going out with HIM.
I agree with this. He has invested a lot of time and effort, and his lack of physical contact may be nerves or him trying to be a gentleman.
The next time you chat or go out, bring up this other guy you are casually dating and mention how you are looking forward to going out with HIM.
Then ask Movie Guy is HE is dating anyone.
His reaction should be very telling.
Yes, good advice, thanks for that.
We actually talked a bit about our personal lifes on first date, but very briefly,and our date was much shorter then, so i didnt have much of an opportunity to bring up this other guy. But i was determined to tell him about this other guy on the second date. The problem was.....we didnt even talk about personal life! This guy does most of the talking (he is a talker) and he initiated most of the conversations (if not all) and at any point i felt like telling him "oh, btw, im seeing this other guy and im crazy about him" wouldnt be rude. I felt like if i bring that up out of the blue it would felt rude. So i was really hoping to talk about our personal lives so i can tell him about this guy but the oppportunity didnt present itself. Im thinking i will tell him about the other guy as soon as i have the chance.
Maybe he didnt wanna bring up the personal life talk out of fear? He might sense i have something for the clues or things i said in first date. And, plus, i did try to swing conversation to more personal side but it didnt work out with him.
Reading the womans body language thread i remember i did somethings on purpouse on my date.
-We were on a restaurant and i thought our legs would touch down the table so i quickly got far away with my chair in order for out legs not to touch.
-I was with my arms crossed all times, even when in most places we went, the temp was hot and i made a point in mentioning that (its winter here so most places have heaters and i usually feel hot when i enter a place and im wearing winter clothes)
-I didnt wear any cleavage in both of my dates. Actually, i cover myself up almost completely with turtle neck both times. I have nice breasts and usually men notice it even if im not wearing a huge cleavage (no, they are not huge or super big, but you know how men are), so i made a point in hiding it as much as i could.
Maybe he behaves like this cause he notices all this signs, cause we women are kinda obvious with our body language when we like someone .....and when we dont
He may just be completely socially clueless: unaware of how his behavior comes off and how it affects his relationship with others. Of course, nerves might just make him a chatterbox.
In my experience, you do have to be careful with guys like this. His perception of things might be off. He may THINK you two have a great potential for romantic relationship, and in HIS mind you have great conversations, even though he does most of the talking.
Or, if you just take it at face value, he has a friend he can go see movies with!
As long as you are honest with him in your behavior and words, which it sounds like you are, you should be fine.
Yes, this is what im afraid of and what other people have told me.
But, if he isnt making any move, we are splitting bills 50/50 and behaving strictly as friends.....is it wrong for me to go out with him when i have no romantic interest in him at all??
what would you think if you were in his shoes. would you think im interesed??
I might.
Since men rarely bother pursuing platonic relationships with women, most assume women are the same way. This might be particularly true if a man wants to believe a woman might have a romantic interest in him.
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, could this be true?? This guy hasnt show sexual interest in any shape or form, so i just assume he wants to be my friend. But a part of me says he is asking me out for something, he use to think i was beautiful, and maybe he is developing a crush on me? Maybe the crush on me is too strong so he is afraid of doing anything for not wanting to ruin it? Maybe he wants to became my friend and then all of the sudden make a move?? Believe me, he didnt try ANY move. I wanna think he is not interested in my like that, but im not sure.
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